Can you tell me about a time when you screwed up and your child got hurt?

[Anonymous]

How did you forgive yourself?

My 2 yo DD had an accident this morning and fell and hurt her head because I was not watching carefully enough (I turned my back only for a matter of seconds to attend to my other child). We went straight to the ER, and they checked her out and she’s probably going to be fine, but I can’t stop hating myself for my negligence.

Please don’t berate me, I know I screwed up badly. I’ve never had something like this happen before. I was alone with my two children and overwhelmed and distracted.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure you screwed up.

I was overly cautious to the point of absurdity and that actually f'ed up my child's procioceptive and gross motor development, I'm sure.

None of us reaches sainthood as moms.

[Anonymous]

Something exactly happened to my toddler, except she had a hairline fracture and small scar as a result. It haunts me still, but don’t know if forgiveness (or a need to forgive myself) really enters the equation for me. It happened, I couldn’t change that, but I learned from the experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something exactly happened to my toddler, except she had a hairline fracture and small scar as a result. It haunts me still, but don’t know if forgiveness (or a need to forgive myself) really enters the equation for me. It happened, I couldn’t change that, but I learned from the experience.

Should say “exactly like this.”

[Anonymous]

You didn't screw up. 2 and 3 year olds fall all the time. My kid fell off a bench straight onto her noggin at 13 months. Cried, biig goose egg bruise. She was fine.
I've clipped my first kids nail and got her finger and it bled. Sucked but I only did it once.
Took my kids to the park by myself, let the toddler take her favorite lovey. Dropped it on the walk home. Searched the street later that night and didnt find it. Thankfully we have a spare, but i still felt guilty for letting her take it out.
We are people and moms and dads, we are not perfect. We try our best but not everything works out all the time.

[Anonymous]

Aw, OP, please go easy on yourself. Kids fall, even when you’re watching them like a hawk.

I left my not-yet-mobile baby lying on a bed while I turned for less than a minute to finish setting up his pack and play. He hadn’t even starting rolling yet but managed to somehow wiggle off the bed and fall onto the hardwood floor. I felt beyond awful and while he was clearly fine I called the on-call pediatrician who assured me he hadn’t sustained major injury. But I felt so bad and worried that DH and I made a little pallet on the floor to sleep right beside him and make sure he was okay.

He’s now 13 and rolls his eyes at many of my worries. OP, you’re a good parent. Be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure you screwed up.

I was overly cautious to the point of absurdity and that actually f'ed up my child's procioceptive and gross motor development, I'm sure.

None of us reaches sainthood as moms.

Op here. I did screw up. I left her in a shopping cart, turned my back for only a moment, and she fell out onto pavement. I cannot get it out of my mind. I was just so overwhelmed in the moment trying to manage simultaneous meltdowns from my kids and getting them into the car.

The doc says she’s fine, but I’m scared, what if they are wrong and this ends up causing lifelong damage for her.

My DH for whatever reason is being completely silent on this.

[Anonymous]

We have all had those experiences. My oldest child rolled off the bed when she was 6 months old. My youngest child fell off a chair when he was 2 and broke his finger. Both of those accidents may have been preventable if I had been paying better attention -- but we're all human and things happen. Don't beat yourself up.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. My kids are now 9 and 7.

Older DS - has had 2 sets of head stitches, both of which were from falls at home, a broken arm from monkey bars at the pool when I wouldn't have even taken him to the ER except a friend who used to be military said I should (both forearm bones completely broken in two). I also leaned in to get something from the toaster over when he was a toddler - he was on my opposite hip but swung his arm around and SEARED it on the hot part.

Younger - fell off the changing table at 8 months onto the floor; had a bad injury at camp that resulted in 10 stitches directly over his eye and when I dropped off that morning and saw the director was out and some bozos were in charge I said, eh, I'm sure it's fine (he was 5 and kids get hurt but they didn't call me even when he was bleeding profusely).

You're totally fine! My kids are happy and still love me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. My kids are now 9 and 7.

Older DS - has had 2 sets of head stitches, both of which were from falls at home, a broken arm from monkey bars at the pool when I wouldn't have even taken him to the ER except a friend who used to be military said I should (both forearm bones completely broken in two). I also leaned in to get something from the toaster over when he was a toddler - he was on my opposite hip but swung his arm around and SEARED it on the hot part.

Younger - fell off the changing table at 8 months onto the floor; had a bad injury at camp that resulted in 10 stitches directly over his eye and when I dropped off that morning and saw the director was out and some bozos were in charge I said, eh, I'm sure it's fine (he was 5 and kids get hurt but they didn't call me even when he was bleeding profusely).

You're totally fine! My kids are happy and still love me

Oh and my best friend's husband who is a wonderful dad slammed his daughter's hand in the car door and broke ALL her fingers! (he clearly didn't know she was there and she's fine no w many years later and they all laugh about it).

[Anonymous]

Left my 10 mo baby in reach of my cranky old dog. He got nipped on the face, has a tiny scar, and I’ll never forgive myself.

[Anonymous]

These stories are so helpful everyone. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Oh op I’m sorry, I saw your update and can imagine I would feel similarly but truly, while you may have technically made a mistake it’s not one that almost every parent hasn’t done at some point (or maybe not exactly but something similar) and we just got lucky (or for some a fall happened too!) most kids have a big head bonk at some point and it’s very very unlikely if you got her checked out there would be any long term damage. Truly. Even if she had gotten a head injury (which she didn’t based on the check up) kids at that age are remarkable at recovering from them and their brains are so good at recovering. I really really wouldn’t worry about long term damage and would try to be kind to yourself. My Dad didn’t use an infant car seat correctly and my sister fell headfirst from it onto the concrete at a pool as an infant. And my dad is 6’4 (she wasn’t that high up but still as he was picking her up it wasn’t a tiny fall as the car seat kind of flipped). Anyway she is an MD now. You’re clearly a great and caring mom, hope you are able to give yourself some grace.

[Anonymous]

My post should really say technically “made a mistake” in quotes as I was repeating your words, I see it as a pretty normal parent occurrence and most of us get lucky!

[Anonymous]

It haunts you for awhile and then it fades. You are human. I struggled with the cart/groceries/kid thing and I only had one. Many times I wondered how parents of more managed, especially when the kids where beyond done with the trip and melting down.