Sleep training a newborn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I feel you, that age was the worst for us.

Basically every book I could get my hands on said you had to wait until 4 months for CIO, so I think you gotta grin and bear it a few more weeks. You’re sooo close!!

There are gentle sleep training things you can try (like pick up put down, shush pat, bedtime routines, giving them 5 mins to see if they settle themselves, I think The Baby Whisperer has some stuff on that.

I will say that when our LO was 3 months and 29 days, we had a particularly awful day and caved two days early and did CIO. But I would really try to hold off until 4 months or very close to it if you can.

Why is 4 months the magic mark? What happens then that makes babies ready?

[Anonymous]

Anyone who can leave a 3-4 month old baby to cry is a sociopath, point blank. Shame on you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I feel you, that age was the worst for us.

Basically every book I could get my hands on said you had to wait until 4 months for CIO, so I think you gotta grin and bear it a few more weeks. You’re sooo close!!

There are gentle sleep training things you can try (like pick up put down, shush pat, bedtime routines, giving them 5 mins to see if they settle themselves, I think The Baby Whisperer has some stuff on that.

I will say that when our LO was 3 months and 29 days, we had a particularly awful day and caved two days early and did CIO. But I would really try to hold off until 4 months or very close to it if you can.

Why is 4 months the magic mark? What happens then that makes babies ready?

I’m the PP, I have no idea! But all the well researched books say to wait until at least 4 months for CIO. Some recommend later in fact, but I couldn’t find any that said earlier. I’m far from an expert.

[Anonymous]

I think the reason to wait is because babies often still need to eat at night before 4 months. They are developing and need comfort and food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My baby is almost 4 months old and I know they say to wait until 4-6 months to sleep train. My baby has not been a good sleeper. He can self-soothe and wakes up multiple times a night to be rocked to sleep. Sometimes it’s every 30-45 minutes. He is such a light sleeper that anything will wake him up. Naps are held because he can’t sleep on his own. I’m back at work and the lack of sleep is getting to me. My husband is involved as does as much as possible, but he works FT. I’m really losing it and want to sleep train.

I am 100% pro sleep training, and even I think it’s too early.

[Anonymous]

We started to get the baby on a rythym around 6/7 weeks. Up at 7am, 1.5 hrs up, 1.5 hrs down etc... until bedtime around 6:30/7pm. Then stretched out to 2 hrs up, 2 hrs down etc... until bedtime. Baby slept through the night (10hrs) for first time around 10 weeks.

I was insanely fixated on it though, probably too much. But it worked and I appreciate the sleep.

[Anonymous]

I had a crier. He cried whether he was being rocked
Or held.

So one night at 6 weeks we put him down and went to bed and we didn't wake up. Now it is possible he didn't cry, but the more likely event was we were so exhausted we didn't hear him.

After that, we were all a lot happier, especially our baby. And we learned not to rush in when he cried. He was a great sleeper by 6 months and throughout toddler hood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the reason to wait is because babies often still need to eat at night before 4 months. They are developing and need comfort and food.

You can sleep train and still keep feedings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define what you mean by “sleep train.”
If it’s put the baby down and let them cry it out for some set amount of time to train them to fall asleep, then absolutely no. Do not do this. Full stop.

If you mean following a routine each night with specific activities, ie at 7pm, give bath, nurse, rock and then put down when drowsy, then fine. But absolutely no cry it out.

This does not make sense. When you put a non sleep trained baby down “drowsy but awake” they don’t go to sleep. They cry! Why do people tell you to put a baby down drowsy but awake? Until they learn how to sleep independently- ie, trained - they just lie there and cry.

[Anonymous]

I agree with sleep training, but I think 4 months is too young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define what you mean by “sleep train.”
If it’s put the baby down and let them cry it out for some set amount of time to train them to fall asleep, then absolutely no. Do not do this. Full stop.

If you mean following a routine each night with specific activities, ie at 7pm, give bath, nurse, rock and then put down when drowsy, then fine. But absolutely no cry it out.

This does not make sense. When you put a non sleep trained baby down “drowsy but awake” they don’t go to sleep. They cry! Why do people tell you to put a baby down drowsy but awake? Until they learn how to sleep independently- ie, trained - they just lie there and cry.

Not true. Some kids don’t need to be trained. I had one of each-one that didn’t sleep through the night until two no matter what we tried and one that was a textbook drowsy but awake baby. Kid actually would fuss to be put down when done nursing, put her in her bed and asleep in minutes every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who can leave a 3-4 month old baby to cry is a sociopath, point blank. Shame on you OP.

Not OP but no it’s not. I sleep trained early with both my kids and we are very loving. We all needed sleep. Kids are great sleepers and happy. We’re better parents because we are getting sleep. Most babies will cry much longer when you add it up without sleep training. It’s more detrimental for a baby do be waking up and crying multiple times a night for many months or year than crying for the time it takes to sleep train.

[Anonymous]

Sleep training means teaching the baby to sleep independently, NOT cutting out night feedings.

We taught our baby from the moment we brought him home that he can fall asleep independently.

It was actually much easier than having him cry at 4 months, because when you first bring the baby home, he does not know that he can fall asleep on you/rocked. He will basically fall asleep the way you teach him. He only ever fussed for 2-3 minutes at a time initially - sometimes no, sometimes yes. Same after he woke up to eat at night (he woke up to eat up until around 3 months because he needed food, but he would go back to sleep by himself after the feeding, no rocking, etc.), we would put him back into his bed. There he would fuss for 2-3 minutes sometimes and would then fall asleep. There were a few times where he fussed for more than 3 minutes, we would go stroke him and shhhh him so that he knows we are there, and he would then fall asleep. So much easier to teach this skill from birth. Again, has nothing to do with not feeding. In fact, at night, when he woke up, we knew he was waking up because he WAS HUNGRY and not just unable to connect sleep cycles on his own.

[Anonymous]

OP, is the baby still in your room? Can you move him to another, very dark room where you’d still hear him? We moved ours into the walk in closet at about 4 months and everyone slept better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is the baby still in your room? Can you move him to another, very dark room where you’d still hear him? We moved ours into the walk in closet at about 4 months and everyone slept better.

OP here. We moved him into his crib in his room with blackout shades and white noise. It still didn’t help.