In laws suddenly snubbing me after a decade

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this isn’t true for you, but my in laws have been radicalized the past couple years by Fox News, Newsmax, etc. Our previous 15 years of a great relationship has deteriorated over the past year or so. I’m sure the pandemic and not seeing each other over (just once in the last year) contributes. But I think they’re mad at us for something (staying away when they live their lives pretty normally? Voting for Biden? Something more- whatever QAnon told them we did??)

This.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with this. Parents should call and email their child directly with issues, problems or questions. Other stuff can go to the DIL, just not the emotional burden stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see nothing wrong with this. Parents should call and email their child directly with issues, problems or questions. Other stuff can go to the DIL, just not the emotional burden stuff.

NP. I agree with you, but you have to admit...if this particular family has operated differently for a decade, and is just now acting completely different? That's weird, and I see how OP is confused.

That said, I think OP should just shrug and move on with her day, and let her husband deal with his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see nothing wrong with this. Parents should call and email their child directly with issues, problems or questions. Other stuff can go to the DIL, just not the emotional burden stuff.

NP. I agree with you, but you have to admit...if this particular family has operated differently for a decade, and is just now acting completely different? That's weird, and I see how OP is confused.

That said, I think OP should just shrug and move on with her day, and let her husband deal with his parents.

Maybe they finally saw the light? I do believe both sides should be very friendly, but the questions and planning should be put on their son and not on DIL.

[Anonymous]

Your DH has been complaining about you to them.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws did this, but it was after I stepped back a bit from them and let DH handle all things related with his family. And I'm fine with it, we are still friendly when we do see each other. It's possible they have some kind of grudge against me, but since it doesn't really affect our relationship too much, I'm not sweating it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this isn’t true for you, but my in laws have been radicalized the past couple years by Fox News, Newsmax, etc. Our previous 15 years of a great relationship has deteriorated over the past year or so. I’m sure the pandemic and not seeing each other over (just once in the last year) contributes. But I think they’re mad at us for something (staying away when they live their lives pretty normally? Voting for Biden? Something more- whatever QAnon told them we did??)

This.

NP. The OP says above that the in-laws live in another country and politics is not part of the equation here.

OP, is it possible that maybe they are stressing over covid where they live and therefore just not communicating much period? My DH's family is all in another country and I know the older members of the family are all very stressed, and have been for a year, over how poorly covid is being handled, when can they get a vaccination, etc. Adds a lot of day to day angst and that can make some people simply less likely to communicate (not necessarily more likely, though some folks operate that way). I'd give them the benefit of the doubt here and think that maybe they are stressed. Or is it possible there are other health issues or issues in general that are making them feel they only have bandwidth mentally to keep up with communicating just what's needed and just to one person, their son?

It's just something to consider.

And please ignore the jerks posting stuff like "your DH has told them he's asking for a divorce" etc. Typical DCUM ugly snark based on absolutely nothing you've told us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have a shared email?

You’ve never had anything where you’d both want to get an email about something (school, activities, etc.) and there’s just room for one email?

My DW and I have one but it just forwards to our individual emails.

Omg, why I have not thought of this?

OP here. Yes this is what we do just because it’s easier to put one at the doctor, school, etc. As to the rest, my in laws live in another country, so it’s been longer than normal since we’ve seen them due to Covid. I don’t use social media so it’s not that. It’s not politics because they’re not here. We use WhatsApp, FaceTime, etc to communicate regularly or at least used to before this change. I’m not sure what to make of it.

Op I would be curious about his as well but it could simply be that they miss their son and found they were talking to you more than him. Or I would bet one of their friends had an issue and was given advice to go through their child now, its pretty much the standard advice, don't rely on the DIL for family social stuff.

I would not take this personally, keep doing what you are doing and if you notice they are cold toward you during Facetime I would then bring it up with them and ask them if something is wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, please call your DH out on the nonsense that nothing is different and its just your imagination. HE needs to address this as this is HIS family that changed their behavior towards YOU and HE knows the reason why and isnt telling.

OR he is clueless. (Not impossible, just unlikely.)

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I wouldn’t care. You rarely see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please call your DH out on the nonsense that nothing is different and its just your imagination. HE needs to address this as this is HIS family that changed their behavior towards YOU and HE knows the reason why and isnt telling.

OR he is clueless. (Not impossible, just unlikely.)

Really? I think most men are clueless!

[Anonymous]

I mean, do you really need them up in your face all the time anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this isn’t true for you, but my in laws have been radicalized the past couple years by Fox News, Newsmax, etc. Our previous 15 years of a great relationship has deteriorated over the past year or so. I’m sure the pandemic and not seeing each other over (just once in the last year) contributes. But I think they’re mad at us for something (staying away when they live their lives pretty normally? Voting for Biden? Something more- whatever QAnon told them we did??)

I could’ve written this as well.

[Anonymous]

Why dont you try texting them and test the waters? Let them know you missed hearing from them.

Maybe DH said something like for them to only contact him for such and such and they got the wrong idea?

[Anonymous]

Someone did something similar to me. Wise people said it is manipulative.