Handling rejection in the admissions process

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was more bothered by the rejections than my kids ever were. My boys easily moved on.

Plus 1,000

Yep. My kids weren’t rejected by school they cared about. They shrugged and moved on. I was angry they didn’t see how amazing my kids are and how much they would contribute. Then I realized it wasn’t my college admission process, no one loves you like you mom and I was setting a terrible example for my kids on how to manage setbacks. So, I got a better attitude. Outwardly. Still a bit pissed deep down at the reject school because clearly my kid is awesome.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. It lasted 30 seconds and not a half hour.

[Anonymous]

Be a good example and handle with Grace and a shrug. You win some, you lose some. Not a big deal - you will end up in the place that is right for you. .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a few rejections are not a bad thing.

DC applied ED to a reach, got in and withdrew application from an extreme reach that he would have loved to be admitted to (even thought I'm not sure it would actually have been a good fit).

He was kinda bummed that he never learned results of the extreme reach, and I think getting a rejection (as expected) would have kinda confirmed the value of the reach that he was admitted to. As it was, DC only completed acceptances to two schools (ED and an EA), was accepted to the ED and to the EA with $$$$, so wonders if he should have aimed higher.

I worry that this kid will never be happy.

When he applied ED, he was stating that was his first (realistic) choice. He got in. Time to celebrate.

If he keeps this mindset he will always be haunted by whether he could have gotten a better job, a better wife. He has to learn that every choice has pros and cons. Nothing is perfect. He should focus in the positives of the bird in his hand!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was more bothered by the rejections than my kids ever were. My boys easily moved on.

Plus 1,000

Yep. My kids weren’t rejected by school they cared about. They shrugged and moved on. I was angry they didn’t see how amazing my kids are and how much they would contribute. Then I realized it wasn’t my college admission process, no one loves you like you mom and I was setting a terrible example for my kids on how to manage setbacks. So, I got a better attitude. Outwardly. Still a bit pissed deep down at the reject school because clearly my kid is awesome.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. It lasted 30 seconds and not a half hour.

Lol - you should write for Blinkist!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just frigg'n move on. There are thousands of colleges.

Not in Los Angles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a few rejections are not a bad thing.

DC applied ED to a reach, got in and withdrew application from an extreme reach that he would have loved to be admitted to (even thought I'm not sure it would actually have been a good fit).

He was kinda bummed that he never learned results of the extreme reach, and I think getting a rejection (as expected) would have kinda confirmed the value of the reach that he was admitted to. As it was, DC only completed acceptances to two schools (ED and an EA), was accepted to the ED and to the EA with $$$$, so wonders if he should have aimed higher.

I worry that this kid will never be happy.

When he applied ED, he was stating that was his first (realistic) choice. He got in. Time to celebrate.

If he keeps this mindset he will always be haunted by whether he could have gotten a better job, a better wife. He has to learn that every choice has pros and cons. Nothing is perfect. He should focus in the positives of the bird in his hand!

+1

ED is supposed to be "the one". If your DC isn't sure and wants to explore the possibility with the extreme reach lottery, then someone should've advised him against the ED decision. The game of could've-would've-should've is a lose-lose situation. I honestly don't think your DC would've been in any better emotional state if he didn't apply ED and was reject by the extreme reach as well as the reach. He might go down the "extreme regret" path.

So please help to guide him to see the silver lining and the brighter side of every situation, the pros and cons as PP pointed out. That will do him a whole of good in the long run than to waste time wondering about a long shot at the extreme reach schools. What is next, the job, the house, the wife, the kids, their college goals... It doesn't end...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a few rejections are not a bad thing.

DC applied ED to a reach, got in and withdrew application from an extreme reach that he would have loved to be admitted to (even thought I'm not sure it would actually have been a good fit).

He was kinda bummed that he never learned results of the extreme reach, and I think getting a rejection (as expected) would have kinda confirmed the value of the reach that he was admitted to. As it was, DC only completed acceptances to two schools (ED and an EA), was accepted to the ED and to the EA with $$$$, so wonders if he should have aimed higher.

I worry that this kid will never be happy.

When he applied ED, he was stating that was his first (realistic) choice. He got in. Time to celebrate.

If he keeps this mindset he will always be haunted by whether he could have gotten a better job, a better wife. He has to learn that every choice has pros and cons. Nothing is perfect. He should focus in the positives of the bird in his hand!

+1

ED is supposed to be "the one". If your DC isn't sure and wants to explore the possibility with the extreme reach lottery, then someone should've advised him against the ED decision. The game of could've-would've-should've is a lose-lose situation. I honestly don't think your DC would've been in any better emotional state if he didn't apply ED and was reject by the extreme reach as well as the reach. He might go down the "extreme regret" path.

So please help to guide him to see the silver lining and the brighter side of every situation, the pros and cons as PP pointed out. That will do him a whole of good in the long run than to waste time wondering about a long shot at the extreme reach schools. What is next, the job, the house, the wife, the kids, their college goals... It doesn't end...

Appreciate the concern, but these posts are deeply idiotic. Please save your concern for something real.

[Anonymous]

To the original post, while the podcast might be a bit too esoteric for high school ages, the stories and general advice of the psychologist were very engaging and helpful. I kept putting off listening, glad I did though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was more bothered by the rejections than my kids ever were. My boys easily moved on.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was more bothered by the rejections than my kids ever were. My boys easily moved on.

Me too.

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interview with a psychologist who I have also heard give a Ted Talk on letting go of work stress. Here he talks about admissions rejection and handling it. It's about 40 minutes long FWIW..

https://blog.spiveyconsulting.com/podcast-with-dr-guy-winch/

LOL. If you kid can't even handle college rejections, you got a much bigger problem than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an interview with a psychologist who I have also heard give a Ted Talk on letting go of work stress. Here he talks about admissions rejection and handling it. It's about 40 minutes long FWIW..

https://blog.spiveyconsulting.com/podcast-with-dr-guy-winch/

LOL. If you kid can't even handle college rejections, you got a much bigger problem than that.

You should do a TED Talk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, actually commenting without listening.

I think it's much better to not be accepted to all schools. A student can handle rejection. Should have to handle some rejection. It's life. I've never understand parents who express that they are so relieved the student got into all schools. Such low tolerance for any risk taking.

How common is that though? If you are applying broadly you would think it almost would never happen.

Right, if you get in everywhere it means you didn't reach. And that's ok, not everyone wants to reach