When to tell ex dating someone new

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we're about to have sex - probably after about a month of dating.

That is nuts. Nuts. I am not telling my ex or kids who I am sleeping with. If I am serious after a year, MAYBE...but sex...NO WAY! No one's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

I am the PP - yes, this wasn't a highly negotiated provision, honestly. I think it was just standard language in the agreement. There haven't been any new "SO"s in the year since we divorced, so haven't looked at it since then. I knew there was something about introducing the kids to a new SO, but can't really imagine that either of us are going to be looking to require a "meet the new guy / gal happy hour" or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

I am the PP - yes, this wasn't a highly negotiated provision, honestly. I think it was just standard language in the agreement. There haven't been any new "SO"s in the year since we divorced, so haven't looked at it since then. I knew there was something about introducing the kids to a new SO, but can't really imagine that either of us are going to be looking to require a "meet the new guy / gal happy hour" or anything like that.

And actually - I don't have a problem with it. The provision only requires that we tell each other and introduce the new SO IF we introduce the kids to the SO. So it's not like I have to tell him if I am dating someone new. Or that he has a right to tell me who to date. Our kids are young too - 5 and 8, so there really shouldn't be any reason for them to be involved with new relationships / people unless it is VERY serious. We have 50-50 custody, so post COVD, plenty of free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

Not enforceable.

[Anonymous]

I always hang a pair of the new girlfriend's panties on the front door knob. I figure the ex will eventually notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

My ex tried to get it in our divorce agreement that we'd have veto power over each other's partners. Super controlling. And dumb, because I would have been able to veto, too, and would happily bide my time and use it the day before ex got remarried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

Not enforceable.

[Anonymous]

I met BF’s kids after a year of dating and his ex found out about me when they got home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t. It isn’t their business.

+1. One of best part of being divorced. I don’t have to tell my ex anything.

With kids? when it is serious and the children will have to adjust to the introduction of a partner that will be around indefinitely.

The parent who is doing the introduction to new partner handles whatever issues with it come up with kids. Your ex has absolutely no say and no regard to how/when/who you date and the terms which you introduce your children to a person you are dating. Why would they? They don’t know that person at all or anything about your new relationship to make an opinions or comments.

[Anonymous]

Never. None of his business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met BF’s kids after a year of dating and his ex found out about me when they got home.

I don’t think that is the best way to do it.

I think the co-parent should send a text. “Just a heads up, ______ and I have been dating _____ long and ______ is going to meet DC tonight when we go bowling.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

New poster here. It's called a morality clause, and nearly everyone I know has one. Having said that, every divorce attorney will warn you that it's not enforceable. It's pretty standard for divorces with kids around here in DC, Bethesda, CC at least. It makes people pause before introducing a revolving door of boyfriends and girlfriends to their kids.

I suppose if you have a do-it-yourself or a simple divorce, you might not think of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check your Divorce Agreement. Mine states that the Party will introduce the new SO to the other Party if/when the SO is introduced to the kids, which should not happen prior to 6 months.

I do not know why anyone would put that in a divorce agreement. I certainly did not.

It's weird but I've heard of multiple people doing it. Very controlling if you ask me.

My ex tried to get it in our divorce agreement that we'd have veto power over each other's partners. Super controlling. And dumb, because I would have been able to veto, too, and would happily bide my time and use it the day before ex got remarried.

That's not a morality clause. That's nuts.

Morality clauses aren't controlling. They just say that each partner tells the other before introducing kids to a boyfriend/girlfriend. The other partner can't stop it, but it's good to know so you can help prepare your kids for something that can be a traumatic experience and instead make it more pleasant.

Not enforceable but it makes people think twice sometimes about introducing kids to dozens of dates. Most sophisticated divorce agreements contain them.