Friends marriage at breaking point due to infertility

[Anonymous]

What wretch found this thread and is throwing up her bile all over it. $hit happens! You or I don't know her circumstances for you to come in like that. I got married at 28 and though TTC nearly all that time didn't have a pregnancy until 37. Many procedures and tests passed and we never did find out what caused the infertlity.
OP, your friend and her husband should get some counseling. Infertility can be a huge stressor on a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 40 year old friend has been trying for a baby for 3 years and her marriage is struggling. I feel so sad for her. Why do some women continue to have healthy pregnancies into early 40s and others struggle even after tried everything?

37 is too old to start trying and hope for success. Most people know that beyond 35ish is a crashing unless you have a solid history of know fertility before that. I've been shocked by the sheer number of young 30s friends that are not able to conceive.

That's bullshit. I conceived my first at 36 and a half the first night of trying.

We just had an oops pregnancy at 47.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for her OP.

I was never able to get pregnant, and they never figured out exactly why. We decided to accept infertility and move on with our lives eventually. Sending hugs to your friend.

Another friend ended up having a "whoops" miracle baby while.going through menopause. Doctors told her she could.not conceive, but apparently mid life somehow briefly fixed that hormonal issue during a small window of time.

[Anonymous]

Ask her if she’s read It Starts With the Egg. My friend (39) has done IVF for years and always miscarries. I told her about the book and the supplements and she finally stayed pregnant and is over 20 weeks. You friend might still be unsuccessful, but the supplements in the book have worked for a lot of women with crappy eggs and it’s worth a shot.

[Anonymous]

Whoops I forgot to have a baby! Is an actual article written by Dr Dimattina. RE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very worried about this. Sperm counts are crashing around the world and I'm wondering if the equivalent isn't happening in women and with egg quality. I've been hanging out on an IVF forum and there is a stable of ladies there with multiple failed IVF cycles and not infrequently some of those cycles include donor cycles using presumably very healthy eggs. About half of the sad cases started TTC in their late 20s. In other cases good looking blasts are made and transferred with only BFNs and early losses.

You only hear the worst cases there. A lot of women do manage to have kids naturally into their mid-late thirties and early forties. They are not posting on those boards.

The numbers seem like they're increasing at an alarming rate. The donor egg strike outs especially worry me.

Also c section rates are going up, labor is taking longer. Something bad is happening to our health.

Average age at last pregnancy used to be 41. It's really weird to be totally infertile at age 35, especially where IVF can't fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's really weird to be totally infertile at age 35, especially where IVF can't fix it.

It's really not that weird. I have meet plenty of people (myself included) that were infertile to the point where multiple IVFs didn't work in their 20s let alone 30s. IVF is not a cure all, as much as we like to think it is. And as many doctors have told me over the years, we don't know everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's really weird to be totally infertile at age 35, especially where IVF can't fix it.

It's really not that weird. I have meet plenty of people (myself included) that were infertile to the point where multiple IVFs didn't work in their 20s let alone 30s. IVF is not a cure all, as much as we like to think it is. And as many doctors have told me over the years, we don't know everything.

The average woman used to have 5-10 kids, one of them in her 40s, and you know a bunch of people who couldn't get one kid, no matter the age of the mother, with IVF and that doesn't strike you as something going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It's really weird to be totally infertile at age 35, especially where IVF can't fix it.

It's really not that weird. I have meet plenty of people (myself included) that were infertile to the point where multiple IVFs didn't work in their 20s let alone 30s. IVF is not a cure all, as much as we like to think it is. And as many doctors have told me over the years, we don't know everything.

The average woman used to have 5-10 kids, one of them in her 40s, and you know a bunch of people who couldn't get one kid, no matter the age of the mother, with IVF and that doesn't strike you as something going on?

There were infertile women/men years ago too. An average women can still have 5-10 if she wants (look at very religious communities). I'm just saying that age isn't everything in IVF. Plenty of times it's MF also (or a combination/unexplained as in my case). IVF doesn't always work no matter what age the mother is. It's a great tool and can help many people, but it's not a cure all. I'm proof of this and so are the people I've met over the years (in various fertility centers throughout the county).

[Anonymous]

All those years on birth control impact fertility. It’s different for women who have a first baby before their mid thirties... but first baby after 37 when your body isn’t accustomed to normal cycles is a tall order.

[Anonymous]

I’m 59. When I was having kids virtually nobody I knew needed fertility assistance. I only know one couple that couldn’t conceive. Some sort of extinction event seems to be occurring. The explosion of allergies is another head scratcher. The young people in general also don’t have the vitality or attractive appearance they used to. Unhealthy physically all over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very worried about this. Sperm counts are crashing around the world and I'm wondering if the equivalent isn't happening in women and with egg quality. I've been hanging out on an IVF forum and there is a stable of ladies there with multiple failed IVF cycles and not infrequently some of those cycles include donor cycles using presumably very healthy eggs. About half of the sad cases started TTC in their late 20s. In other cases good looking blasts are made and transferred with only BFNs and early losses.

You know men make billions of sperm right?

Where did you get this weird deception about sperm? And “very healthy eggs” in infertility? Wherever you got your second and third sentences, it’s time to figure out the source and NEVER EVER read a word they say again.

Read real news and real science and ditch whatever information trash you’re consuming. My god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 59. When I was having kids virtually nobody I knew needed fertility assistance. I only know one couple that couldn’t conceive. Some sort of extinction event seems to be occurring. The explosion of allergies is another head scratcher. The young people in general also don’t have the vitality or attractive appearance they used to. Unhealthy physically all over.

Same: what you are saying is wildly unhinged and wherever you got it never ever read that again.

Attractive appearance? Your memory is not only more perfect than film your personal subjective judgement is enough to chicken little that the world is falling?

Please beg for God’s help, ditch Facebook, and read only real reliable journalists in future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very worried about this. Sperm counts are crashing around the world and I'm wondering if the equivalent isn't happening in women and with egg quality. I've been hanging out on an IVF forum and there is a stable of ladies there with multiple failed IVF cycles and not infrequently some of those cycles include donor cycles using presumably very healthy eggs. About half of the sad cases started TTC in their late 20s. In other cases good looking blasts are made and transferred with only BFNs and early losses.

You know men make billions of sperm right?

Where did you get this weird deception about sperm?

My husband's urologist, who is published. lol Google it yourself if you don't believe me.

We ended up needing testicular biopsy and ICSI to conceive.

For the record, anything less than 1 million is infertile territory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The explosion of allergies is another head scratcher.

Autism too.