Do your in-laws buy you gifts?

[Anonymous]

I do think it's rude to send gifts to the daughter, her kids, but not the son-in-law. The fact your gift to them is from "the family" is irrelevant to that. If it's from the entire family then it's an unreturned gift every year, basically.

But whatever, I'm sure your parents' rudeness is not why you're divorcing.

[Anonymous]

My ILs gave us both gifts until they didn't give either of us gifts (MIL has a personality disorder). My parents give my husband gifts for Christmas and his birthday-- and even for Father's Day because my mom is awesome like that. I've never heard of anyone giving their child a gift and not their child's spouse.

[Anonymous]

We get joint gifts usually.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my in laws give me gifts and my parents give both mine and my sister’s spouses gifts as well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents get DH gifts for birthdays and Christmas. They also get us gifts for our anniversary and basically send cards to celebrate flag day. ILs do not send me gifts but they also don't send DH gifts. They just don't do gifts and don't make a big deal out of holidays or celebration. It's kind of sad but it's just the way they are.

This made me laugh because it is the exact same situation I'm in. My parents acknowledge every holiday and my in laws nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think it's rude to send gifts to the daughter, her kids, but not the son-in-law. The fact your gift to them is from "the family" is irrelevant to that. If it's from the entire family then it's an unreturned gift every year, basically.

But whatever, I'm sure your parents' rudeness is not why you're divorcing.

His complaint is that he only gets a Christmas card. I get a card too so it’s not like they’re only getting me and the kids something. My parents haven’t given me a Christmas gift since I graduated high school so that’s why it’s not really a big deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, for birthday, Christmas, mother's day, valentine's day, the start of summer, the full moon, etc.

In November I received a fluffy cardigan with stars with a note from my MIL saying "You are a super star of a mother! Stay cozy and safe!"

They would be mortified if they ever missed a holiday.

[Anonymous]

My ILs give gifts at Christmas and checks on birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Cards at every holiday. My own parents do not do gifts. Family on my side generally only give contributions to minors' college funds. Personally, I am not "into" gifts. Gifts are not my love language, and not my family's. I buy what I need and want not much more.

So this makes me a pretty poor gift giver, as I have a hard time imagining what anyone could possibly want. Maybe my ILs don't understand me. My DH is on my same page though.

Anyway, I would chalk this up to love languages. Your ex feels that gift giving is an important show of love. This is maybe a minor reason out of many reasons he will be your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think it's rude to send gifts to the daughter, her kids, but not the son-in-law. The fact your gift to them is from "the family" is irrelevant to that. If it's from the entire family then it's an unreturned gift every year, basically.

But whatever, I'm sure your parents' rudeness is not why you're divorcing.

His complaint is that he only gets a Christmas card. I get a card too so it’s not like they’re only getting me and the kids something. My parents haven’t given me a Christmas gift since I graduated high school so that’s why it’s not really a big deal to me.

Oh. Then he's crazy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have always received presents from my inlaws for my birthday and Christmas just as my husband always receives presents from my parents, his inlaws for his birthday and Christmas. The presents tend to be in approximately the same dollar amount. We receive presents from both sets of parents for our anniversary. We also buy gifts for both sets of parents for their birthdays, Christmas and their anniversaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, for birthday, Christmas, mother's day, valentine's day, the start of summer, the full moon, etc.

In November I received a fluffy cardigan with stars with a note from my MIL saying "You are a super star of a mother! Stay cozy and safe!"

They would be mortified if they ever missed a holiday.

Oh, that is super sweet!!! You sound like a wonderful person if your MIL is thinking of you and sending spontaneous gifts. I hope someday I can be a MIL like yours!

[Anonymous]

My mother doesn't buy us gifts at all. She's really selfish and self-centered. My MIL never had much money but when she was able she got us really nice gifts, including me.

[Anonymous]

I received Christmas gifts from my in laws when I was married. Usually something from my ex's parents and then we exchanged with his brothers.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws treat me like a daughter, so if they get something for DH, they also get something for me.

[Anonymous]

So mine do and I can't lie, it feels like such an obligation because I don't want to buy them gifts! We are grown ups, why do we need to exchange gifts? It'd be one thing if they saw something and thought "oh you'd like this". But there's always this demand for a list ahead of time. Which, don't get me wrong, is better than crap and I am thankful. But I just wish we could skip it!