Did you grow up in a neat or a messy home, and how did it affect you

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I never really noticed.

[Anonymous]

Mixed. Mom's was cluttered and messy. Dad's was extreme OCD clean. I'm a mix.

[Anonymous]

My house was run by a neat freak that would go behind your back and throw things away, snoop, you name it. I'm hella messy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grew up in a clean but cluttered house. My parents have a 3ft high pile of newspaper articles in the corner of their kitchen that they clipped because they’re “going to read them again someday.” Doing laundry was an everyday affair. Clean folded clothes seemed to be in every room, but never made it to drawers.

I probably don’t clean as much as my mom does, but the newspapers are recycled after a week and the laundry goes straight from the machine to the drawers. Clutter makes me crazy.

Very similar. My mom is a hoarder. Our house was clean (or a normal level of clean for a family with kids and dogs) but you just couldn't move through rooms. At one point we had upward of 30 chairs on the first floor.

I can slip into making piles if my things don't have a designated place to go, but I don't keep stuff around. Clothes put away promptly, excess things donated, mail recycled as soon as I pick it up from the mailbox. We don't take the paper or any magazines, and I donated all my hundreds of books once I got a Kindle. I also have a fairly sparse house with minimal decor -- no knick knacks, no art on the walls. It looks a little unfinished with my traditional furniture, but I find bare walls peaceful.

[Anonymous]

Messy-ish, but hygienic. I try to have a neat home, but don't obsess over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a neat freak home. I’m not a total slob, but definitely a lot messier than my parents. I wish my mom had spent more time chilling out with us and less time keeping the house perfect.

+1. Whole rooms that were just for looks with uncomfortable furniture. My mom never sits down and relaxes so I feel like her home is uncomfortable, both in the way it’s designed and in the vibe at the house. The only comfortable room is the basement which they made a rec room. The only room they relax in is their bedroom.

I’m messy and too relaxed. I want practical furniture that feels good to sit in. I still feel like I’m constantly cleaning though. I wish I could be one of those people who cleans to relax.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in a very neat house. I am more relaxed with my kids. We’re neat, but I’m not obsessed about it.

[Anonymous]

Grew up with a super clean, tidy home. My home is the same, I like everything clean, and in its place, no clutter. My sister, not so much. She was always messy growing up, and stayed that way through adulthood. Both of my parents are still the same level of cleanliness in their 70s.

[Anonymous]

Very tidy and clean and organized home growing up.

My own home is very tidy and clean but not as organized (think messy cabinets and closets).

[Anonymous]

My mom was very houseproud and had a great sense of decorating. Our house was well decorated, elegant and very neat, clean and well maintained. She worked very hard her entire life. She also was a great cook and an extremely organized person. Both my parents were like this.

My siblings and I, we try and replicate it but we are average in everything. I try and keep a very clean house but it is nowhere as good as my mom. She did not have one lazy bone in her body. Very disciplined and hard working.

[Anonymous]

Our family home was always clean and neat. We all had a job and were expected to do our share. 6 kids and never was the house even messy.
Husbands family home was immaculate. Minimal furnishings so the house wasn't hard to keep up. 7 kids, let's just say it was an uncomfortable home to be in. His family had weird money issues. Needs only. You never replaced anything until it could not be fixed. My MIL had plastic on the furniture and all these clear mats on the carpet. I never liked going there so I quit going. Both MIL and FIL have passed. My BIL lives in the house. I'll bet money it's filthy as all get out but he has a place and I'm happy for that.

I keep a very clean tidy home and my husband helps with the big stuff. My level of cleanliness has dropped because I got sick but if you walk in it smells good.
My sisters are not good housekeepers. I don't think any of them even cook.
My brother married a girl that was not a good housekeeper. He is always doing home improvement stuff so I guess he cleans as he goes. SIL thinks cleaning is below her standard of living. Mrs. Executive Secretary. This is kind of ironic. My brother is a teacher and has a business cleaning offices. My SIL helps clean offices. I cannot put that together at all. I haven't seen them in 20 years so maybe she cleans her house now.

They all made fun of me calling me Suzie homemaker. I wish my mother were still alive to see my house. She would be so happy. I love you Mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a neat freak home. I’m not a total slob, but definitely a lot messier than my parents. I wish my mom had spent more time chilling out with us and less time keeping the house perfect.

We had a very clean house, but my mother did very little. She was a SAHM who did almost nothing. She did a lot of ordering around. I have vivid memories of her sitting on the couch with her feet up, sipping a Coke from a straw, while saying, "You missed a spot," or "Did you remember to dust BEHIND the tv?" I got punished all the time for not cleaning well enough. As far as my brother and I can tell, she cooked dinner (up until I was in around 7th grade) and cleaned up from it. Laundry, ironing, other meals, dusting, sweeping/vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning mirrors, changing sheets, shoveling snow, raking leaves, setting the table, emptying the dishwasher, emptying the garbage, walking the dog, feeding the dog - all of that was done by the kids and my dad.

It left us all very bitter and resentful. My brother and I talked about it a few times and agreed our mom wanted to be seen as the queen who just gave orders. We run our respective homes differently. We both married people who believe everyone just keeps doing tasks until nothing else needs to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extremely clean home. My mother took pride that when the pastor came over, he said he could "eat off the floor." My mom was maniacally obsessed with keeping things clean and organized, and she did it all herself when I was young. I marvel at it now. I think psychologically, it was an image thing, because she grew up poor (but clean!) and needed cleanliness to show she was good enough/had class/etc, could at least not be a dirty poor person. The cleanness was proof of worth, and next to godliness.

Today, my house pretty clean but I leave dishes overnight sometimes and I do not stress. I have a housecleaner to help. I love things to be clean but can't see how I could keep it all up myself without going nuts. I am not up to my mom's standards.

Another difference between my mom and I, is that I am very minimalist while she liked to have stuff. I don't want to take care of so much stuff. This is probably a boomer/gen x difference.

Your mom had lots of "stuff" because the stuff is wrapped up in her self worth.

Having lots of stuff to someone who is poor is a sign of wealth, both personal and material.

She didn't have things growing up, so when she could afford to buy things for herself she did, and that's sadly what she felt gave her value.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a clean and formal home. We are much more casual, but I keep it pretty tidy. Dishes put away, counters wiped down. But our home belongs to everyone and we don’t have strange rules I had growing up. We lounge on the sofa and I relax in my bed during the day....something my mother never would have happened when I was growing up!

[Anonymous]

Mom was a hoarder. House was a mess. Today, I keep nothing around that doesn't have a purpose. My house practically looks like a staged real estate listing. It took a very long time to train family members to banish mindless gift-giving traditions and stop giving me stuff I didn't want or need. At some point, I stopped being gracious about accepting gifts and straight up said anything they'd give me would go straight into the donation pile or trash.