Has anyone in your family screwed you over?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I helped mom with dad for many years when he had cancer and am the one here for her. All her anger and resentment caring for dad (with an army of hired help, me living closeby and the option to do nursing home which was pushed because mom was having tantrums often) got heaped onto me. I am her verbal punching bag. She has decided to punish me by giving generous financial gifts to my sister (from whom she was estranged for years) and threatening to write me out of the will on a regular basis. I still am in her life, but I set boundaries and expect to inherit nothing. I'm pretty sure if there is an afterlife , when she passes away my father will kill her himself because he was a loving man and would not have approved of how she treated me or many of the choices she has made since he passed away. My kids are horrified by her behavior and scared of her at this point.

[Anonymous]

Not me directly but DH's family is full of stories. When my DH's cousin was a senior in college her parents did have the money for college applications. Another family member agreed to pay the application fees and send the cousin's parents a check. Cousin's dad cashed the check and bought a new shot gun for hunting season and DH's cousin's applications were never completed and she didn't get accepted to college. She ended up doing community college and transferring and is now a nurse so I guess it worked out in the long run but I can't imagine my own parents sabotaging me like that.

[Anonymous]

My grandpa opened his own construction company called Frehner construction. Him and his five sons (one being my dad) ran the company and paved almost all the roads and freeways in Las Vegas Nevada for about 5 years before hiring some more workers. They became the #1 construction company in L.V. .Ill make it short.after about 50years in bussiness my stepgrandma sold it for 98.9 million dollars and all the money got left to her side of the family after she passed leaving the original family without a dime of it after all their hard work from the ground up in the company.She even sold the four story cabin that was in duck creek utah thar was supposed to be a cabin to bring the family for oncoming years.

[Anonymous]

My spouse's father is a total d@ck. My spouse's grandparents were very, very wealthy. They took care of my FIL, but he philandered and partied his way through his money. Spouse's grandparents had also set spouse up with a trust fund. Somehow, FIL stole her trust fund and spent it on his third wife's troubled kids and never told us. When my spouse went to claim the trust to make our own kids' lives more comfortable as we work in public service jobs, spouse discovered it was all gone. FIL still comes to visit us as though nothing happened.

[Anonymous]

My husband is adopted and his grandmother left him $1 in her will because he wasn't a "blood relative." His father (who adopted him) gave my husband what he got from the will and cut off a relationship with his family because of this.

[Anonymous]

Not by family, but by employers, ex-DH, coworkers, 'friends', and boyfriends. Employers were cheap and greedy, the rest were simply bad with money and I was stupid to help them.
Not a big deal as I'm so great with money that I'm retired now and make money with few clicks.
One of my ex employers just contacted me to work for him. I'm trying to figure out if he is crazy or bipolar. He owes me a lot of money and treated me like crap. We walked out of work at the end of the shift being yelled at the drunk once again.
My friend and I were his best employees and worked for him over a decade. We made him very rich. He may be broke now.
I cannot believe he had the balls to contact me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, I wish you had posted your plans on this board so the lawyers could have told you to get a contract first.

It's not too late. Do they need your husband for their business? If so, negotiate a contract/buy into the business or leave.

If not, just leave.

There are sooop many unemployed lawyers on this board. No lawyer with self respect gives out their advice for free over a mass message.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP. I suggest you and your husband move back and cut them out of your life.

My maternal family is a vipers' nest of backstabbing people. My uncle stole his sisters' inheritance, including my mother's, which led to a 25 year court battle. The sisters won. My aunt stole jewelry my grandmother had willed to me. I let that go.

I don't think my parents would ever do this to me - they're not the betraying sort of people.

But my husband is. I didn't realize that when I married him.

Fun times all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone in your family screwed you over? If so, tell me your story.

Here’s my story.

My husband has been a blue collar worker all his life and was able to establish a pretty successful business that employed several people. About 5 years ago, he started having really bad arthritis pain so he took a more passive/management role in his business.

We live about 3 hours from my inlaws and they asked us to move closer to them since they’re in their late 70s. This isn’t something we can just do on a whim, I’m a nurse so I can’t just pack up and WFH and my husband wouldn’t be able to manage his business from afar. So my inlaws suggested we sell our house, sell my husband’s business, use that money to buy a house close to them, and they would take care of the rest. “Take care of the rest” means my inlaws said they would make my husband an employee of theirs and then eventually my husband would take over their business. They own several million dollars worth of property in this area (all paid off btw) and their income comes from renting these properties out.

Long story short, we sold everything, packed our stuff up and moved closer to my inlaws. Once we were settled and started discussing things, my inlaws wanted to pay my husband a fraction of what they promised (in the 50k range – he netted in the 6 figure range with his business). My inlaws also mentioned selling their property so that they can “retire” in comfort and hire a private nurse when the time comes. I’m in shock. My husband’s in shock and depressed. We gave up so much to move closer to them and just got screwed. Luckily I make a decent living and our mortgage is fairly low so we can squeak by on my salary but with 2 teen kids and the COL in this area rising – I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry, OP, this is definitely on you. You uprooted your entire life because your in-laws said they were going to “take care” of some things for you?? This is not even a case of the devil being in the details—you didn’t ask basic questions like what your husband salary would be.

Also, what was your point in lamenting that they’re considering selling their properties? Were you just expecting them to give them to you? Of course old people are going to spend down some/all of their assets if end-of-life care is needed. You’re still going to get whatever is left of their estate once they pass, whether it’s in real estate, cash or stocks—but this happens after their death, not before.

[Anonymous]

I shared an apartment with my brother for the first year after college. He pretended to go to work and pay rent while I paid all the bills. I didn’t know until I came back from a wedding out of town and all my stuff was gone and the apartment lock was changed. We had been evicted. He then kept the lie going saying it was a big mistake & he had a police contact who was investigating it. Literally everything I own was gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone in your family screwed you over? If so, tell me your story.

Here’s my story.

My husband has been a blue collar worker all his life and was able to establish a pretty successful business that employed several people. About 5 years ago, he started having really bad arthritis pain so he took a more passive/management role in his business.

We live about 3 hours from my inlaws and they asked us to move closer to them since they’re in their late 70s. This isn’t something we can just do on a whim, I’m a nurse so I can’t just pack up and WFH and my husband wouldn’t be able to manage his business from afar. So my inlaws suggested we sell our house, sell my husband’s business, use that money to buy a house close to them, and they would take care of the rest. “Take care of the rest” means my inlaws said they would make my husband an employee of theirs and then eventually my husband would take over their business. They own several million dollars worth of property in this area (all paid off btw) and their income comes from renting these properties out.

Long story short, we sold everything, packed our stuff up and moved closer to my inlaws. Once we were settled and started discussing things, my inlaws wanted to pay my husband a fraction of what they promised (in the 50k range – he netted in the 6 figure range with his business). My inlaws also mentioned selling their property so that they can “retire” in comfort and hire a private nurse when the time comes. I’m in shock. My husband’s in shock and depressed. We gave up so much to move closer to them and just got screwed. Luckily I make a decent living and our mortgage is fairly low so we can squeak by on my salary but with 2 teen kids and the COL in this area rising – I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Thanks for listening.

Sorry, OP, this is definitely on you. You uprooted your entire life because your in-laws said they were going to “take care” of some things for you?? This is not even a case of the devil being in the details—you didn’t ask basic questions like what your husband salary would be.

Also, what was your point in lamenting that they’re considering selling their properties? Were you just expecting them to give them to you? Of course old people are going to spend down some/all of their assets if end-of-life care is needed. You’re still going to get whatever is left of their estate once they pass, whether it’s in real estate, cash or stocks—but this happens after their death, not before.

I have a feeling you always blame the OP for one thing or another in every thread you come to.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if they are expecting you to be their nurse.

That’s terrible OP

[Anonymous]

Not screwed over, but BIL is helping my mom plan her estate and his kids will get the “more.”

BIL is super competitive and always wants to be the favorite - it’s a joke amongst us. He’s like a guy on reality TV always wanting to be the preferred one.

My mom just explained to us that any money from the sale of her house (est$225) will to go to us and the grandkids.

None of us siblings in dire straits, but most of us are struggling financially.

The plan is for 40% to go to us five kids. The remaining 60% will be divided evenly between the grand kids.
Sister A and BIL’s have 3 kids
Sister B has 2 kids
Sister C has 0 kids
Sister D has 1 kid
Brother has 1 kid

[Anonymous]

My mother stole the house from her step mother.
Forged my grandfather’s signature after he died. Provided the court with a forged document.

Then when she sent my aunt her cut she charged her the 38cents for the stamp. My aunt hasn’t spoken to her in years

My mother stole from my cousins when my uncke died cleaned out his apartment same with my paternal grandmother.

My mother would lie cheat and steal without blinking an eye,

OP I am sorry

[Anonymous]

My family didn't have any money before my parent's generation, and my parents cut us off after grad school and have continuously reiterated they are giving all of their money to their church when they day. The good side of coming from nothing is there is nothing to fight about.