How to handle three generations staying at parents house

Anonymous
I don't understand why people are so dramatic about sharing a bathroom. But I grew up in a house with one bathroom, and in the event of a potty emergency, a basement toilet. That's how my parents grew up too (and they were from huge families). You just get in, do your business, and get out. If you take too long of a shower, you might have to deal with someone coming in to go pee while you're in there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are so dramatic about sharing a bathroom. But I grew up in a house with one bathroom, and in the event of a potty emergency, a basement toilet. That's how my parents grew up too (and they were from huge families). You just get in, do your business, and get out. If you take too long of a shower, you might have to deal with someone coming in to go pee while you're in there.


Yeah, I grew up that way too, and freaking hated it. Though nobody would ever open a closed bathroom door in our house. a closed door might as well have been locked. I'm not dramatic, I just hated having to wait and battle with siblings over what we referred to as "prime time" (7:30-8am) in the bathroom. I don't want to deal with that. And I don't want my kids to have to deal with it.
Anonymous
Have you forgotten we are in a pandemic and should not be miixng households?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are so dramatic about sharing a bathroom. But I grew up in a house with one bathroom, and in the event of a potty emergency, a basement toilet. That's how my parents grew up too (and they were from huge families). You just get in, do your business, and get out. If you take too long of a shower, you might have to deal with someone coming in to go pee while you're in there.


Yeah, I grew up that way too, and freaking hated it. Though nobody would ever open a closed bathroom door in our house. a closed door might as well have been locked. I'm not dramatic, I just hated having to wait and battle with siblings over what we referred to as "prime time" (7:30-8am) in the bathroom. I don't want to deal with that. And I don't want my kids to have to deal with it.


Same. The only silver lining is that I didn’t recall hating it growing up; it all just seemed to work out and now I’m not concerned about bathroom size, etc., which helped since I now have an older home with nice but small bathrooms. However, totally recommend hotel or a big, nice Air BnB.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Have you forgotten we are in a pandemic and should not be miixng households?


Have you forgotten how to read. OP said they aren’t doing this anytime soon because of the pandemic. She is thinking ahead. Try it sometime.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people are so dramatic about sharing a bathroom. But I grew up in a house with one bathroom, and in the event of a potty emergency, a basement toilet. That's how my parents grew up too (and they were from huge families). You just get in, do your business, and get out. If you take too long of a shower, you might have to deal with someone coming in to go pee while you're in there.


Yeah, I grew up that way too, and freaking hated it. Though nobody would ever open a closed bathroom door in our house. a closed door might as well have been locked. I'm not dramatic, I just hated having to wait and battle with siblings over what we referred to as "prime time" (7:30-8am) in the bathroom. I don't want to deal with that. And I don't want my kids to have to deal with it.


Same. The only silver lining is that I didn’t recall hating it growing up; it all just seemed to work out and now I’m not concerned about bathroom size, etc., which helped since I now have an older home with nice but small bathrooms. However, totally recommend hotel or a big, nice Air BnB.


+1

One of six kids here, bathroom sharing and schedule-arranging was just a fact of life.

I'm glad not to have to deal with it now.
Anonymous
My parents would have been greatly upset of any siblings stayed in a hotel. We made it work, all sharing the one bathroom, pack n plays crammed in and all. 2 siblings, each with 2 kids. Not often all of there at one time, maybe once a year? Other times just my family visiting or just my sibling's family visiting, and the once a year, we sucked it up.

And, 10 years later, my parents moved to a condo near my sibling. When we visit, we stay there, and my sibling is at their own home. Sometimes kids stay at siblings and the adults stay with my parents.
Anonymous
Hotel. We've done it and it was great to have our own space, kid naps, room for post-activity unwinding, etc. In the morning we could get up, bathe, get packed up and head over to ILs' for the day.
Anonymous
OP here. I hear what lots of you are saying about the hotel, and I wouldn't mind it, but my parents would flip a shit, espicially since brother who has kids is a huge people pleaser, and would probably sleep standing up just to stay at their house and keep them happy LOL.


Anonymous wrote:Hotel.

Can grandparents get rid of furniture to make room for a PNP? They really only need a bed and night stands. We have a tiny house and we can fit a PNP with a queen in our bedroom but not much room.


One of the bedrooms has a big desk that they could get rid of, and would allow for enough space for a PNP. The other two bedrooms have enough space for a PNP and two twin beds, but it would be VERY tight.


Anonymous wrote:I know this is not possible for everyone, but my parents finished their basement, adding a bedroom plus living space and a large bathroom, once grandkids started coming.


This is an intriguing idea. My parents have an unfinished basement that they have talked about finishing for the past 20 years or so, and I wonder if this will push them to do so. They have the money, but from a practical standpoint, it would be a tough sell, as the basement would go unused for 90% of the year. Still though, it's an interesting idea, and I wonder what the best way to broach that with them?
Anonymous
Here's what you do. Have everyone stay with your parents. Let the nights be really, really full of crying. Then, use the contents of diapers and your husbands manly deposits to stop up the one and only toilet. While one of your husbands is pretending to try to unblock the toilet, whoever is pregnant constantly vomits into the kitchen sink. I know this sounds super gross and is not COVID-safe, but it is the only way forward. I learned it from my mother, Christmas 1986. It will solve your problems.
Anonymous
You stay in a hotel or get an airbnb or you and your family crowd into your old childhood bedroom.

Here is what you dont do, if you want your siblings to like you: You do not expect them to give up your childhood bedroom to you or your kid. My older sister expected me to stop staying at my parents' once she had kids. Nope, sorry. Just because I am childless doesnt mean I dont get to stay in my bedroom. I still count, too. You want more space, YOU go stay in a hotel.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You stay in a hotel or get an airbnb or you and your family crowd into your old childhood bedroom.

Here is what you dont do, if you want your siblings to like you: You do not expect them to give up your childhood bedroom to you or your kid. My older sister expected me to stop staying at my parents' once she had kids. Nope, sorry. Just because I am childless doesnt mean I dont get to stay in my bedroom. I still count, too. You want more space, YOU go stay in a hotel.


SOrry, this should have said, you do not expect your sibling to give up THEIR childhood bedroom to you or your kid.
Anonymous
I hear you. My parents insist that we cannot stay at hotels, so we mostly don’t visit or I go solo with my toddler. My parents’ house has two bathrooms but a tiny hot water heater and messed-up plumbing. My mom will not share a bathroom and has an elaborately long getting-ready routine. So everyone else gets cold showers and has to announce everything they’re doing that involves running water, flushing, or showering, because if you do anything while someone is showering, you’ll freeze or scald them. We can’t shower at night because “the house is shut down for the night” and it’s too noisy. More than two adults getting ready within an hour is impossible and it seems like every conversation is about bathroom schedules.
Anonymous
Why are people so offended by hotels? I think it's such a gift when someone stays in a hotel instead of with me.
Anonymous
In a few years the cousins will all want to have a sleepover on the floor together. Or camp in a tent.

Otherwise a big airbnb nearby. You can split the cost between the families with kids.

Or kids sleep at grandparents and parents get a break in a hotel

The way it works best for us right now is kids get the bedrooms (2 babies, 1yo, 2yo) and adults sleep on air mattresses. But kids go to bed at 7pm then we can visit and have dinner and play cards etc without worrying about waking them

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