Husband during job interview

[Anonymous]

I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

One of the things I’ve had to learn screen for under the radar when hiring is the kind of person who’s going to come in and be a PIA.

Most job openings have dozens of qualified candidates competing for the same job where any one of them could handle the workload. We could pull the names from a hat or choose who will be most pleasant to be around.

Your husbands mistake was saying the quiet part out loud.

[Anonymous]

I learned the hard way that smiley happy seeming people can sometimes be batshit insane and difficult. So no, I wouldn't hire someone who seems hostile, but I also wouldn't hire someone because of a smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

I think there's a basis for a seeing (and gently pointing out as one pp suggests) some unconscious sexism there. Do people talk about how male candidates seemed so happy and had such a nice smile in an interview? If anything, it would be worded very differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today he was part of a group interviewing candidates for two positions in his division. I heard him talking about one of the female candidates with his colleagues. I couldn’t believe he wanted the group to select this female candidate “...considering how she smiles and how happy she looked during the interview. This is the kind of people you want to work with all day...”
It’s definitely not retail, not marketing, not fashion, not health, not a restaurant. The job requires a high education level, PhD for many positions.
At this point, I think this is a yellow flag in our marriage. What’s your impression?

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My impression is you seem insecure and are looking for problems.

This x1000. Your reaction is the yellow flag in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

I think there's a basis for a seeing (and gently pointing out as one pp suggests) some unconscious sexism there. Do people talk about how male candidates seemed so happy and had such a nice smile in an interview? If anything, it would be worded very differently.

OP here. Agree. There’s definitely sexism. I’m not sure if my husband’s boss, who is a married woman in her 60s, was present. If she was, I bet she “saw” the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I learned the hard way that smiley happy seeming people can sometimes be batshit insane and difficult. So no, I wouldn't hire someone who seems hostile, but I also wouldn't hire someone because of a smile.

Some men hire with their penis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My impression is you seem insecure and are looking for problems.

This x1000. Your reaction is the yellow flag in your marriage.

+100.

here's a question, OP -- are you a happy, smiling person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

I think there's a basis for a seeing (and gently pointing out as one pp suggests) some unconscious sexism there. Do people talk about how male candidates seemed so happy and had such a nice smile in an interview? If anything, it would be worded very differently.

OP here. Agree. There’s definitely sexism. I’m not sure if my husband’s boss, who is a married woman in her 60s, was present. If she was, I bet she “saw” the same.

Baloney. I am a guy, and when we interview guys we definitely talk afterward about whether they appear friendly, outgoing, and easy to get along with. We’re not going to hire someone who is obviously unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My impression is you seem insecure and are looking for problems.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

I think there's a basis for a seeing (and gently pointing out as one pp suggests) some unconscious sexism there. Do people talk about how male candidates seemed so happy and had such a nice smile in an interview? If anything, it would be worded very differently.

OP here. Agree. There’s definitely sexism. I’m not sure if my husband’s boss, who is a married woman in her 60s, was present. If she was, I bet she “saw” the same.

Baloney. I am a guy, and when we interview guys we definitely talk afterward about whether they appear friendly, outgoing, and easy to get along with. We’re not going to hire someone who is obviously unhappy.

I'm a 56 yo white female and I agree. I have no problem describing someone as smiling with a happy demeanor and have had hiring managers describe candidates, male and female, that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My impression is you seem insecure and are looking for problems.

This x1000. Your reaction is the yellow flag in your marriage.

That is exactly what I thought before even reading these two comments.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is tired of PhD types who have the personality of a potato. Nice, smiling people are pleasant to work with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working with smiling happy people too. Agree there is a big yellow flags in your marriage: go look in the mirror.

I think there's a basis for a seeing (and gently pointing out as one pp suggests) some unconscious sexism there. Do people talk about how male candidates seemed so happy and had such a nice smile in an interview? If anything, it would be worded very differently.

Ironic PP that YOU would call out unconscious sexism, which it seems YOU have just done by inventing sexist things that were never said like: "... such a nice smile..".
Here let me quote the OP: "...considering how she smiles and how happy she looked during the interview. This is the kind of people you want to work with all day...”