Stalking your ex's Facebook

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Can you convince her to seek therapy to help her work through her pain? I did that after a very difficult breakup.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the many reasons we don’t do social media. I keep almost zero internet presence.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is still in a lot of pain even this long after the breakup. Saying she needs to move on and get over it isn’t helpful. Breakups can be excruciating and traumatizing events—especially so if they were engaged and it would help her so much if she had a therapist to help her learn how to grieve the relationship and heal from the trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. Can you convince her to seek therapy to help her work through her pain? I did that after a very difficult breakup.

I tried again tonight and it was just an hour and a half of yelling back and forth and refusal to see what they're doing isn't healthy at all. I really want to know what caused the breakup, that may give insight into why she's like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He knows. He gets “people you may know” feeds on his page.

The algorithm "People you may know" is not based on viewable data analytics, but connections between mutual friends. There is a hide recommendations feature as well. [/quote


FB uses phone numbers in your contactsto suggest those who have tied their number to their acct

[Anonymous]

How old is she? I assume she is older since a lot of young people don’t use Facebook. She needs to unfriend him, but sounds like you could
never get her to do that. Has she dated since the breakup?

[Anonymous]

If your conversations about it are devolving into yelling matches, then you’re not going to get anywhere with your sister, in terms of gauging what went on in their breakup, and convincing her that her coping strategies are maladaptive. You have to let go, and just listen, and empathize. Some tough love is okay, but power struggles are not. You don’t hav any control over your sister’s choices.

That being said, the fact that she’s stalking him is alarming. I don’t think you should mince words when you talk to her about this - call it what it is. But keep the focus on her, rather than on her ex-BF or his new partner. Don’t engage in conversations about where he is going, and what he is doing; always bring it back to your concern for your sister’s emotional well-being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does she "stalk" it? And does she actually do anything with any information she gets from it? For example, if he posts about looking forward to going to restaurant X later that day, does she also go to restaurant X to try and see him?

she stalks it everyday and to my knowledge she has gone out to places where him and his fiancee will be just a spy on them.

She needs professional help.

[Anonymous]

So if your sister is reasonably attractive, she can't find another guy in about 20 seconds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if your sister is reasonably attractive, she can't find another guy in about 20 seconds?

Your guess is as good as mine. She's fairly attractive, has her life in order, good paying job and own place. My guess is she's so focused on her Ex she hasn't let stopped to see if she could get someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she? I assume she is older since a lot of young people don’t use Facebook. She needs to unfriend him, but sounds like you could
never get her to do that. Has she dated since the breakup?

38 and no, she hasn't dated since the breakup.

[Anonymous]

She's 38, leave her alone and let her Facebook stalk away.

[Anonymous]

Buy her a cat for Christmas. She needs something else to focus on.

[Anonymous]

She definitely did something to cause the breakup and now she has guilt, remorse and regret.

Those three things will keep her "stuck" for a long time... especially since he's now engaged, which was her place.

Unless she has something to distract her or another person to take her mind off of things, she will be stuck in this cycle for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. Can you convince her to seek therapy to help her work through her pain? I did that after a very difficult breakup.

I tried again tonight and it was just an hour and a half of yelling back and forth and refusal to see what they're doing isn't healthy at all. I really want to know what caused the breakup, that may give insight into why she's like this.

OP you are codependent.