Kids with parents with different last names

[Anonymous]

A friend did this just to have things even but not hyphenate. It's not been a problem at all. So many kids have unique family situations and names as a result and it's not really any of your business or you'd know why the names are the way they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

My kids have my husband's last name, and none of this has ever been an issue for me. I have traveled with them without him there all the time, pick up packages and prescriptions for him, etc. without anyone questioning whether I'm REALLY part of the family since my last name is different.

I think people who care about this are hopelessly old fashioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

My kids have my husband's last name, and none of this has ever been an issue for me. I have traveled with them without him there all the time, pick up packages and prescriptions for him, etc. without anyone questioning whether I'm REALLY part of the family since my last name is different.

I think people who care about this are hopelessly old fashioned.

Especially since you made your husband’s name your middle name and that somehow allows you to get packages when you couldn’t before? Strange.

[Anonymous]

A perfect case of MYOB or ask the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

LOL! What world do you live in?

We are plenty united as a family even without the same last name. & I usually just introduce my husband to people or they see us together with a kid and that's enough for them to 'identify' us as a family. We are brown so we have had our share of small issues while traveling but none because of our different last names. What and how many packages do you have to pick up that changing your name is the easier option?

I am all for changing your name or not. It's a personal matter. But there is absolutely nothing selfish about giving one of your kids the mother's last name.

[Anonymous]

Could just be a choice/compromise they made. I grew up down the street from a family (in the most traditional sense — mom and dad married once and had four kids. Kid 1 is named [mom maiden name][dad last name], kid 2 is [first name][dad last name] and the last kid is [first name][mom last name]. Always thought it was cool they mixed things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

LOL @ selfish. You do you, but these invented bogeymans do not actually happen in the real world. I pick up packages/medicine for my husband and kid all the time (and vice versa), we travel with no issues, etc.

Yeah this is such a myth. I didn't change my name and no one bats an eye at any of these things. Welcome to 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

LOL @ selfish. You do you, but these invented bogeymans do not actually happen in the real world. I pick up packages/medicine for my husband and kid all the time (and vice versa), we travel with no issues, etc.

Also having the same middle name as your husbands last name wouldn’t help with any of this. If your name is Larla Smith Greenberg I would be LESS likely to give you a package for Larlo Jones Smith than if you had a completely different name. This just sounds like you’re trying to confuse people and commit fraud. “I kinda changed my name” isn’t a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

So strange. My husband and I have different last names and none of this has ever been a problem.

Kid has a different last name than either of us! And still: not a problem.

[Anonymous]

It is just nonsense , performative narcissism labeled as feminism or independence or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish on the part of the parents. I think siblings should all have the same last name. I didn't want to change my last name so I changed my middle name to my husband's last name. The common name unites us and helps identify us as a family to others. It makes life easier if I have to go pick up a package for him, if we are traveling, etc.

LOL @ selfish. You do you, but these invented bogeymans do not actually happen in the real world. I pick up packages/medicine for my husband and kid all the time (and vice versa), we travel with no issues, etc.

Yep. I grew up in a family with THREE different last names. Literally, none of us shared a name. I had my father's last name, my mother had her maiden name, and my stepfather had his name.

There has never been a single issue, to this day, of someone not understanding that I am their child and that they are married. And I grew up in the 90s.

People invent such crazy scenarios to justify continuing an unnecessary tradition. If you all want a share a last name-- that's great! But you shouldn't do it because of these ridiculous horrors that will supposedly ensue.

[Anonymous]

People who get offended by this kind of thing have a latent self-consciousness about their own choices. If someone chooses to do something differently, they find it threatening or a critique of what they did.

You'll be a lot happier if you mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Yup, this is a non-problem. DH has one last name. I have one last name. Our children have two last names, no hyphens involved. Never been a problem with pick ups/deliveries/credit card statements etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what situation would the older child and father have the same last name and the younger child and mom have the same last name?

The parents are married. I totally get the mom not having the same last name as the husband and kids. I kept my maiden name for years. I just thought it was odd when half the kids had the dad’s name and not the other child.

This family doesn’t appear like a blended family but I guess they could all be the same race and siblings just look really alike.

Traditional naming 'systems' can be found throughout the world in which children may have different last names from their siblings. Eg, Adam Sorenson (father) is married to Eve Fordsdatter (mother), and they have two children: a son, named Ben Adamson, and a daughter, named Caitlyn Adamsdatter.

+1 It is common for kids in my neighborhood to have different last names from full siblings because of naming traditions in their home cultures. I feel like OP may not have much exposure to folks outside a specific WASPY background.

[Anonymous]

I guess no one is ever just curious about things. Op, I would be curious too.