Am I allowed to call police?

[Anonymous]

If they aren’t physically aggressive but will “force” their way into the house, this is about you finding the spine to say no. Leave them on the porch. Call the cops if you have to.

[Anonymous]

Why are they coming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are they coming?

+1 Why are they coming if they refuse to speak to you or acknowledge your existence? Do you have kids with your dh? Do they want to see you or the grandchildren? Do you need to get an attorney involved to get a restraining order?

[Anonymous]

Why has DH not cut them out of your lives? Anyone who threatens to break into your home IS aggressive and that is immediately grounds for ending the relationship. So messed up.

[Anonymous]

Are you or your family or in laws from another country by any chance?

My parents/grandparents are from Eastern Europe and this dynamic reminds me of some of my mother’s issues with her in laws (barging in uninvited, her parents as the arbiter etc). Paternal grandparents never understood the resistance to what they perceived was their right.

While in law issues are not new to any of us, that entitlement seems to be more pronounced in old fashioned or foreign cultures and I hardly see it among Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they aren’t physically aggressive but will “force” their way into the house, this is about you finding the spine to say no. Leave them on the porch. Call the cops if you have to.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is a highly unlikely situation, but nice try

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, they don't have a key or any ownership at all in the house. They often go through my parents for whatever reason even as they refuse to acknowledge that I exist or speak to me.

Would you really make your husband come home early from a work trip? I don't think I can do that but I will keep my house locked.

Your parents need to block their email/phone/etc and get out of the situation totally. Your husband needs to tell them they are not welcome in your home because they treat you like shit and that if they come, the door will not be opened.

Why the hell is your husband telling them he’s out of town? If they are this crazy he shouldn’t be communicating with them at all.

[Anonymous]

(1) Lock your doors and windows. Do not answer the door, do not open the door. Leave a note on the door with their names on it, saying clearly and plainly and without any elaboration that they do not have permission to enter your house and they need to leave. Do not respond to them, no matter how much they yell or bang on the door. If they attempt to physically break in the house, call the cops. They will be trespassing.

(2) Your husband should not have told them that he was out of town. He needs to stop sharing this information with them.

[Anonymous]

DH needs to handle them. I mean, seriously, he's leaving you in the position of needing to call the police on HIS parents because he hasn't managed to get the message to them that your family can't host them right now?

[Anonymous]

Wow to this whole scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(1) Lock your doors and windows. Do not answer the door, do not open the door. Leave a note on the door with their names on it, saying clearly and plainly and without any elaboration that they do not have permission to enter your house and they need to leave. Do not respond to them, no matter how much they yell or bang on the door. If they attempt to physically break in the house, call the cops. They will be trespassing.

(2) Your husband should not have told them that he was out of town. He needs to stop sharing this information with them.

(1) We are doing all of the above. I'm glad that the consensus is that I can call the police on my in-laws if necessary. DH already said I could but it seems so wrong.

(2) He didn't tell them. He does minimal communication with them just to get them to stop harassing my parents and other family members but we communicate with the rest of the family regularly. It was a pretty big deal to be doing this work trip so he told other family members, which we regret. They harass other family members to get information about us and we don't want to cut off anyone. We haven't even cut off his parents even though we should have. They have never hurt me but they have threatened me multiple times and hurt both my husband and our daughter minimally once each. They are just very aggressive people. It scares me because my husband isn't home to stop them but they have come to our house and harassed us before. This time, they are just saying that they'll be here while he's gone which is scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(1) Lock your doors and windows. Do not answer the door, do not open the door. Leave a note on the door with their names on it, saying clearly and plainly and without any elaboration that they do not have permission to enter your house and they need to leave. Do not respond to them, no matter how much they yell or bang on the door. If they attempt to physically break in the house, call the cops. They will be trespassing.

(2) Your husband should not have told them that he was out of town. He needs to stop sharing this information with them.

(1) We are doing all of the above. I'm glad that the consensus is that I can call the police on my in-laws if necessary. DH already said I could but it seems so wrong.

(2) He didn't tell them. He does minimal communication with them just to get them to stop harassing my parents and other family members but we communicate with the rest of the family regularly. It was a pretty big deal to be doing this work trip so he told other family members, which we regret. They harass other family members to get information about us and we don't want to cut off anyone. We haven't even cut off his parents even though we should have. They have never hurt me but they have threatened me multiple times and hurt both my husband and our daughter minimally once each. They are just very aggressive people. It scares me because my husband isn't home to stop them but they have come to our house and harassed us before. This time, they are just saying that they'll be here while he's gone which is scary.

You guys need to grow some spines and cut off his family. They threaten you, they've hurt you and your kid, and you are unwilling to cut them off? What will it take?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH needs to handle them. I mean, seriously, he's leaving you in the position of needing to call the police on HIS parents because he hasn't managed to get the message to them that your family can't host them right now?

Oh he has! He told them quite plainly that they are not welcome and that he will take next steps if they come anyway. He's told me that a restraining order is not of the table. They don't care. It's aggressive narcissism. They will not listen unless we say something they want to hear. They don't even respond to his emails. They simply start a new chain, act like they didn't receive his emails or his response, and write again that they are visiting. It is not normal. He has done everything he can possibly do. I'm copied on his emails and if anything, they are more blunt and to the point than I would ever write to a normal person. I honestly don't think he should even bother trying to "handle" them anymore. I am to the point of just ignoring them and calling the police if they come.

[Anonymous]

Something seems off here. OP, can you provide actual examples of their abuse?