How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it have to do with ivf? We are 33 with 3 kids. We live in the DC area, 5 bedroom, 5 bath house and have two vehicles. We both work, HHI is 200k. Children go to public school. We live ok and not beyond our means. Two vacations a year (one as a family and one just husband and I). Our vehicles we buy used and drive them until they die. Family babysits for us for free

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it have to do with ivf? We are 33 with 3 kids. We live in the DC area, 5 bedroom, 5 bath house and have two vehicles. We both work, HHI is 200k. Children go to public school. We live ok and not beyond our means. Two vacations a year (one as a family and one just husband and I). Our vehicles we buy used and drive them until they die. Family babysits for us for free

No idea re the IVF.

Also OP it depends on your vision of what having kids means. Is there an ideal or are you willing to go with the flow? Do you have to live in Lyon Village or will Ashburn do? Do you need to buy out a store for infant clothes or are you willing to freecycle and wash frequently?

I'm not judging you. I wanted to have a kid when I could afford all the 'niceties' in life. Including where I chose to live and the aid of a night nanny. But many people want kids ASAP and they choose to forgo those in order to have that joy in their life immediately.

Its about choices.

You’re right. I definitely wanted the niceties. I love in a very upscale DC suburb. But I see people everywhere on their 30s with 3, 4, 5 kids and I am heartbroken about what did I do wrong? I always intended to have a 2-3 kid family (would have loved 4) but I never could make ends meet u til really recently and I’m an incredibly hard worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have money. Next question.

Where do they get this money from? I make $300k. I struggled in my 30s. I received nothing from my parents. Do these people’s parents just give them money?

I did not have any student loans - my college was paid for by Pell grant and TAP (NY state grant). I started working right after I graduated from college and did not have that aimlessly drifting around barista period. I did not struggle in my 30s either. By the time I was 30, I was married, had two kids and a house. The down payment for the house came from the condo I bought at 24.

Wow. OP here and I did not go to college. Started working at 14, while I distance learned. Have never stopped. Had 3 jobs 7 days a week and just worked my way up. I also took care of family. I would have never been able to afford house at 24.

[Anonymous]

They make more money than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have money. Next question.

Where do they get this money from? I make $300k. I struggled in my 30s. I received nothing from my parents. Do these people’s parents just give them money?

I did not have any student loans - my college was paid for by Pell grant and TAP (NY state grant). I started working right after I graduated from college and did not have that aimlessly drifting around barista period. I did not struggle in my 30s either. By the time I was 30, I was married, had two kids and a house. The down payment for the house came from the condo I bought at 24.

Wow. OP here and I did not go to college. Started working at 14, while I distance learned. Have never stopped. Had 3 jobs 7 days a week and just worked my way up. I also took care of family. I would have never been able to afford house at 24.

If you’d gone to college instead of taking care of your family? You probably could have bought something at 24.

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll? People who don’t wait till they are 40 to have kids are less likely to need IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it have to do with ivf? We are 33 with 3 kids. We live in the DC area, 5 bedroom, 5 bath house and have two vehicles. We both work, HHI is 200k. Children go to public school. We live ok and not beyond our means. Two vacations a year (one as a family and one just husband and I). Our vehicles we buy used and drive them until they die. Family babysits for us for free

Where do you live?

We are mid-30s with three kids, $180k single income, 4 bedroom / 2 bath house in very good school district close to city AND use parochial school anyways AND save a bunch every year. Spend approx. $100k a year and almost $30k of that are principal payments on our 15 year mortgage.

It's called priorities and budgeting and planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have money. Next question.

Where do they get this money from? I make $300k. I struggled in my 30s. I received nothing from my parents. Do these people’s parents just give them money?

HHI of mid 6-7 figures at 30. Why is this hard for you to understand. Some people have more than others.

[Anonymous]

OP your backstory is very confusing. You didn’t go to college and struggled in your 30s but suddenly started making 300k at 40? That’s an odd set of facts. In any case the answer is that other people prioritized having children. Some of them can afford them and some cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it have to do with ivf? We are 33 with 3 kids. We live in the DC area, 5 bedroom, 5 bath house and have two vehicles. We both work, HHI is 200k. Children go to public school. We live ok and not beyond our means. Two vacations a year (one as a family and one just husband and I). Our vehicles we buy used and drive them until they die. Family babysits for us for free

Where do you live?

We are mid-30s with three kids, $180k single income, 4 bedroom / 2 bath house in very good school district close to city AND use parochial school anyways AND save a bunch every year. Spend approx. $100k a year and almost $30k of that are principal payments on our 15 year mortgage.

It's called priorities and budgeting and planning.

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have money. Next question.

Where do they get this money from? I make $300k. I struggled in my 30s. I received nothing from my parents. Do these people’s parents just give them money?

I did not have any student loans - my college was paid for by Pell grant and TAP (NY state grant). I started working right after I graduated from college and did not have that aimlessly drifting around barista period. I did not struggle in my 30s either. By the time I was 30, I was married, had two kids and a house. The down payment for the house came from the condo I bought at 24.

Wow. OP here and I did not go to college. Started working at 14, while I distance learned. Have never stopped. Had 3 jobs 7 days a week and just worked my way up. I also took care of family. I would have never been able to afford house at 24.

If you’d gone to college instead of taking care of your family? You probably could have bought something at 24.

Yeah, I guess, probably. Ok. Should have taken care of self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll? People who don’t wait till they are 40 to have kids are less likely to need IVF.

Not a troll and yes thank you for that insight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your backstory is very confusing. You didn’t go to college and struggled in your 30s but suddenly started making 300k at 40? That’s an odd set of facts. In any case the answer is that other people prioritized having children. Some of them can afford them and some cannot.

Well maybe but it’s true. I could hardly afford rent, utilities and cost of living and taking care of family for most of 20s and 30s, living in two very low income and unsafe neighborhoods. Got a better job mid-30s, still struggled, and worked my way up.

[Anonymous]

You lost me at $300k. I can't afford 3 kids unless one of us leaves the workforce, but our HHI is $150k and we have two. We had the first with an HHI of $60k and I worked part time and used an unlicensed day care (I.e. "lady down the street"). We spaced the next 5 years apart so they wouldn't overlap in day care and lived in a cheap apartment (and now a cheap townhouse with long commutes, thank God for partial telework).

I would love a third too. But I think if I wanted that more than i wanted to work, or my husband were on board with 3, we could figure out how to make it happen. I hope you do have a family you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I hope you do have a family you want.

Thank you ❤️