Men: How often do you go on dates with a woman you are not attracted to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t initially attracted to my now wife but we were friends for a few years and over time the attraction grew. She was cute in a girl next door way but in my early 20’s I was interested in hotter women. But she was really smart, fun and warm. So I wasn’t physically attracted to her early on but it definitely changed over time. After many years I’m still very attracted to her physically.

Why do women do this?

[Anonymous]

I suspect my husband isn’t physically attracted to me as I am petite and cute and he sexually prefers thick curvy women. We have a dead bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very few will. But the world will bend over backwards telling women to give chances to unattractive guys.

Bingo.

Precisely.

[Anonymous]

Uh, never.

Here's something I can't believe needs to be said:

If a man asks you out, he wants to sleep with you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

He also will be interested in your thoughts. He'll be curious about your tastes in music, food, architecture, art, etc. But first and foremost he wants to be inside you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel terrible about it but I actually married a woman I wasn't very attracted to and ended up having kids with her. Intellectually, logically, the relationship made a ton of sense. She had lots of great attributes. Other people thought she was very attractive and in fact several times random friends were like, "dude how did you land her?" But I just was not physically attracted and the sex was not good. I don't think that's WHY we ended up divorcing, but it certainly would have made for an overall healthier relationship if the physical chemistry and desire to be intimate were there. I feel like an idiot looking back - why did I ever let the relationship continue and even progress to marriage. But it's just like this weird slippery slope thing where you get tangled into it. So stupid. Don't do what I did

Was she just not your physical type (skinny when you prefer thick) or what?

If you list the attributes on paper, it SOUNDS like my type (thin, tall, nice legs and butt, brunette) but somehow when you put the whole package together, the way she moved, the way she smelled (not bad but just not good - I think 50% of chemistry is about smell), her mannerisms during sex, it just all came together to totally not work for me. We didn't have sex for the first time until 6 months into our relationship because we spend 99% of the first six months long distance, and that's how the slippery slope started

Ahh ok that actually does make sense. Y’all were further along emotionally than made sense for your physical relationship. I bet a lot of internet-initiated relationships are like your store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel terrible about it but I actually married a woman I wasn't very attracted to and ended up having kids with her. Intellectually, logically, the relationship made a ton of sense. She had lots of great attributes. Other people thought she was very attractive and in fact several times random friends were like, "dude how did you land her?" But I just was not physically attracted and the sex was not good. I don't think that's WHY we ended up divorcing, but it certainly would have made for an overall healthier relationship if the physical chemistry and desire to be intimate were there. I feel like an idiot looking back - why did I ever let the relationship continue and even progress to marriage. But it's just like this weird slippery slope thing where you get tangled into it. So stupid. Don't do what I did

Was she just not your physical type (skinny when you prefer thick) or what?

If you list the attributes on paper, it SOUNDS like my type (thin, tall, nice legs and butt, brunette) but somehow when you put the whole package together, the way she moved, the way she smelled (not bad but just not good - I think 50% of chemistry is about smell), her mannerisms during sex, it just all came together to totally not work for me. We didn't have sex for the first time until 6 months into our relationship because we spend 99% of the first six months long distance, and that's how the slippery slope started

Ahh ok that actually does make sense. Y’all were further along emotionally than made sense for your physical relationship. I bet a lot of internet-initiated relationships are like your store.

*story

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very few will. But the world will bend over backwards telling women to give chances to unattractive guys.

Only when the woman is complaining about being single, about no available men meeting her standards of income, height, eye color, profession, brand of automobile, and choice of footwear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I ask someone out if I wasn’t attracted to her in some way unless she was the only other person on a deserted island?

^^ and by attraction I mean more than just physical.

Well you wouldn't. Because you're a guy. As pp pointed out the vast majority of guys are like you, and no one tries to convince them to "give her a chance".

If a woman asked me out who I wasn’t really attracted to I might “give her a chance”. But if I’m doing the asking there has to be a reason for me asking her out beyond I might get lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t initially attracted to my now wife but we were friends for a few years and over time the attraction grew. She was cute in a girl next door way but in my early 20’s I was interested in hotter women. But she was really smart, fun and warm. So I wasn’t physically attracted to her early on but it definitely changed over time. After many years I’m still very attracted to her physically.

Why do women do this?

Do what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very few will. But the world will bend over backwards telling women to give chances to unattractive guys.

Bingo.

Precisely.

And quality of life would go up for both men and women if we stopped telling women that being single is akin to having cancer. When she eventually marries the meh guy, she's going to stop having sex with him. Maybe he's OK with that, but most men aren't. Both groups in that scenario would be better off if rather than bending to "give him a chaaaance, you can't be single foreveeeer" pressure she said "no thanks".

[Anonymous]

Question for women - if you weren’t attracted to a guy would you ask him out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for women - if you weren’t attracted to a guy would you ask him out?

The point is moot as women do not ask men out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for women - if you weren’t attracted to a guy would you ask him out?

The point is moot as women do not ask men out.

Wrong! I asked my now husband out way back in the early 90’s.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who proposed to his wife of about 14 years about three months after telling me he was never attracted to her and wished he never slept with her because she became attached and he felt bad breaking it off. She’s not bad looking, but is plain and doesn’t put much effort into her looks. I’ve always felt bad having this knowledge. I’m pretty sure he married her for her money. They seem to have a great life (he has it easy- she’s very wealthy and he “works” but it’s pretty much a life of leisure while the nannies raise his kids). I suspect they don’t have much of a sex life. I don’t think he’d risk his lifestyle by sleeping around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very few will. But the world will bend over backwards telling women to give chances to unattractive guys.

LOL no.