trend of moving into new expensive homes...and marriage ending soon after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buying a big new house provided cover during an affair.. who would do that, it's part of gaslighting.

The idiot did not plan to get caught he/she planned to stay married and carry on the affair, the other spouse is not aware.

Yeah. I can see that. They gaslight wife with gifts, parties, dinners, new car...so she does not suspect the AP.

This is when they never plan to divorce and leave for the AP. It's getting caught and the wife instigating the divorce that happens in these circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. When I’ve seen this, it’s made sense. It’s the belief that fixing the exterior (different house - different neighborhood - “nicer” things) will fix a fundamentally interior problem (the relationship). Like women who think getting implants are what will fix their low self-esteem. It could be kinda true in a superficial way - for awhile - but it wears off, and the real problem is still there.

In my husband's APs case, it wore off 5 months after moving into the brand new house.

I am convinced the house was for the extra guest room she used to bang her Internet guests.

Lady, I hope you mailed that letter certified to the AP’s husband by now, and I hope you’re in therapy. I should not know so much about your/other husband’s skanky AM AP that blocked you in her driveway.

[Anonymous]

A couple in their late-40's moved into a huge home next to us about five years ago and within a year he was out and had moved into the city. She is now an empty nester and has failed to sell the house. She is apparently very wealthy in her own right and has had no problem attracting male companionship based on the men who pass through there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A couple in their late-40's moved into a huge home next to us about five years ago and within a year he was out and had moved into the city. She is now an empty nester and has failed to sell the house. She is apparently very wealthy in her own right and has had no problem attracting male companionship based on the men who pass through there.

maybe they are helping her pay for the new digs. charging by the hour...

[Anonymous]

I know a few that had to turn around and sell the house at a loss.

The wife didn't work and they couldn't keep two different homes on the split income. Wife could not afford to buy out her share of the new home.

[Anonymous]

You think the new dream house will fix things. More room, better neighborhood, sense of accomplishment, pride - looking like the perfect family...

We’re probably going to split when covid is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think the new dream house will fix things. More room, better neighborhood, sense of accomplishment, pride - looking like the perfect family...

We’re probably going to split when covid is over.

What needed to be fixed? How did you not know the issues were bigger than square footage prior to moving? I guess that’s the part I don’t understand.

I think if my marriage was on shaky ground the last thing I would do is buy a brand new home. I know somebody that did it because the affair took place in the former home. I get that would be majorly triggering.

[Anonymous]

There are 12 homes on my street. Divorces galore. All happened within 10 years.

Next door, young couple, no kids, he went on deployment to Turkey for 6 months, she went to visit friends in Florida, she never came back. He divorced her, she got a new man. House was a year old. New neighbors are here to stay.

Another home, military, wife a nurse. His daughter from his first marriage broke the family. The woman and twins left, he sold the house. New family moved in, less than a year woman threw the husband out. She still lives there with the kids.

Across the street, custom built home. The man and his father built it. Lived there under 6 months. Wife in the medical field, man owns a lawn service, one child. 6 police cars showed up one night. Woman and child never came back. She packed her bags that night.

House on the top of the hill was barely a year old, man worked for the railroad, wife a lawyer. She had an affair and left. He lost the house. Couple bought the house, he was a pastor, wife worked but gambled. The breaking point came the day the power was shut off. He left, the wife moved into an apartment, older daughter took over the house. She and her husband are divorcing because he can't stay out of the clubs.

Next door to the above home another breakup. That was a money thing. A very public argument took place on the 4th of July. Drunk partying and swimming got out of control and everyone heard all their business. ALL OF IT. No wonder they had such nice furnishings. They spent more than they made.

I hate knowing all this. I get no satisfaction. It breaks my heart to see so many lives fall apart. I really dislike public fights. Keep that inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are 12 homes on my street. Divorces galore. All happened within 10 years.

Next door, young couple, no kids, he went on deployment to Turkey for 6 months, she went to visit friends in Florida, she never came back. He divorced her, she got a new man. House was a year old. New neighbors are here to stay.

Another home, military, wife a nurse. His daughter from his first marriage broke the family. The woman and twins left, he sold the house. New family moved in, less than a year woman threw the husband out. She still lives there with the kids.

Across the street, custom built home. The man and his father built it. Lived there under 6 months. Wife in the medical field, man owns a lawn service, one child. 6 police cars showed up one night. Woman and child never came back. She packed her bags that night.

House on the top of the hill was barely a year old, man worked for the railroad, wife a lawyer. She had an affair and left. He lost the house. Couple bought the house, he was a pastor, wife worked but gambled. The breaking point came the day the power was shut off. He left, the wife moved into an apartment, older daughter took over the house. She and her husband are divorcing because he can't stay out of the clubs.

Next door to the above home another breakup. That was a money thing. A very public argument took place on the 4th of July. Drunk partying and swimming got out of control and everyone heard all their business. ALL OF IT. No wonder they had such nice furnishings. They spent more than they made.

I hate knowing all this. I get no satisfaction. It breaks my heart to see so many lives fall apart. I really dislike public fights. Keep that inside.

Wow! How do you know all this!?

[Anonymous]

I've read that there is an epidemiological pattern to divorces -- it was more in the context of being somewhat more likely to get a divorce if you are friends with people who get divorced. But it might work geographically as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are 12 homes on my street. Divorces galore. All happened within 10 years.

Next door, young couple, no kids, he went on deployment to Turkey for 6 months, she went to visit friends in Florida, she never came back. He divorced her, she got a new man. House was a year old. New neighbors are here to stay.

Another home, military, wife a nurse. His daughter from his first marriage broke the family. The woman and twins left, he sold the house. New family moved in, less than a year woman threw the husband out. She still lives there with the kids.

Across the street, custom built home. The man and his father built it. Lived there under 6 months. Wife in the medical field, man owns a lawn service, one child. 6 police cars showed up one night. Woman and child never came back. She packed her bags that night.

House on the top of the hill was barely a year old, man worked for the railroad, wife a lawyer. She had an affair and left. He lost the house. Couple bought the house, he was a pastor, wife worked but gambled. The breaking point came the day the power was shut off. He left, the wife moved into an apartment, older daughter took over the house. She and her husband are divorcing because he can't stay out of the clubs.

Next door to the above home another breakup. That was a money thing. A very public argument took place on the 4th of July. Drunk partying and swimming got out of control and everyone heard all their business. ALL OF IT. No wonder they had such nice furnishings. They spent more than they made.

I hate knowing all this. I get no satisfaction. It breaks my heart to see so many lives fall apart. I really dislike public fights. Keep that inside.

Money issues break up a lot of people. It sounds like a lot of people were in over their heads, which led to already existing problems becoming worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've read that there is an epidemiological pattern to divorces -- it was more in the context of being somewhat more likely to get a divorce if you are friends with people who get divorced. But it might work geographically as well.

Yes. And of your friends cheat, you are more likely to cheat too.

Though that pp lives on one f@cked up hood. My parents bought their home new in Fairfax Co in 1974 and everyone was new young families. There was only 1 divorce to date and that includes many streets.

My current neighborhood: I’ve been here 10 years pretty much know everyone and there have only been 2. Both moved into new homes about 2 years prior. Our kids are all MS/HS now do I expect an uptick in the coming years...

But none of that drama a pp describes...wth was that?!?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think the new dream house will fix things. More room, better neighborhood, sense of accomplishment, pride - looking like the perfect family...

We’re probably going to split when covid is over.

What needed to be fixed? How did you not know the issues were bigger than square footage prior to moving? I guess that’s the part I don’t understand.

I think if my marriage was on shaky ground the last thing I would do is buy a brand new home. I know somebody that did it because the affair took place in the former home. I get that would be majorly triggering.

I think moving into a brand new neighborhood and then divorcing would be incredibly isolating. You don’t even know your neighbors or have strong connections at that point.

I have always worked from home and workout and walk my dog with many of the women here. I can’t imagine going through a divorce with nobody you are close to nearby.

[Anonymous]

I think people who buy more house than they need care more about superficial things which probably is true across the board. They are therefore less likely to have good, healthy relationships based on real love. My two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people who buy more house than they need care more about superficial things which probably is true across the board. They are therefore less likely to have good, healthy relationships based on real love. My two cents.

And now they have 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms all to themselves...