Need to vent about frustrating interaction with another mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, you needed to sit this here, why?

Because it was the kind of inconsequential but still very icky conversation that gets under your skin but you don't want to complain about to people you know because it makes you sound kind of petty or like you are overreacting.

I get it. Posting about it on an anonymous forum is probably the right move, actually. But then move on -- not worth your energy to worry over.

[Anonymous]

So, you don't think your IB school is very good, which is why you are going to try to lottery out of it, but when someone agrees with you, you get upset? That's silly.

The comment about people having to attend their IB school, I would just blow off. Or say, "Well, DC has a lottery system. If [school you want to lottery into] has extra seats, I don't see what's selfish about trying to lottery into one."

But honestly, this is why I don't talk about schools with parents who don't send their kid to the same school. Because people make nasty or clueless or dumb comments, and it's not worth engaging with them.

[Anonymous]

So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

OP here. I was annoyed because she was openly rude to me. She criticized my kid's school and then told me she didn't think I should be allowed to use the lottery to try to get my kid into a better school.

You know, the only reason I even said the thing about doing the lottery again next year is because she criticized our school. I actually like a lot about our school and would not be devastated to stay, even though I recognize some of the challenges. But having another parent say, to my face, that my school is bad made me feel defensive. Which is the whole reason I said "Oh, well we might try to lottery in somewhere else if we can. We've heard great things about [her IB school]." So for her to then say that using the lottery to go to another school is selfish.... it was just such a bait and switch, which was annoying coming from someone who doesn't even have kids in the school system yet. I'm generally a very positive person but I was having an off day and running into this rude, entitled person made it that much worse.

[Anonymous]

The pandemic has made a lot of people socially weird. I would let this go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

OP here. I was annoyed because she was openly rude to me. She criticized my kid's school and then told me she didn't think I should be allowed to use the lottery to try to get my kid into a better school.

You know, the only reason I even said the thing about doing the lottery again next year is because she criticized our school. I actually like a lot about our school and would not be devastated to stay, even though I recognize some of the challenges. But having another parent say, to my face, that my school is bad made me feel defensive. Which is the whole reason I said "Oh, well we might try to lottery in somewhere else if we can. We've heard great things about [her IB school]." So for her to then say that using the lottery to go to another school is selfish.... it was just such a bait and switch, which was annoying coming from someone who doesn't even have kids in the school system yet. I'm generally a very positive person but I was having an off day and running into this rude, entitled person made it that much worse.

The point is she thinks YOU are rude and entitled. You (presumably) didn't pay as much for your house as she did to live in bounds for that school, and yet you think you're entitled to go there anyway. She, on the other hand, paid the price of admission, so to speak, and is miffed that people who didn't think they can just sneak in the back door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

OP here. I was annoyed because she was openly rude to me. She criticized my kid's school and then told me she didn't think I should be allowed to use the lottery to try to get my kid into a better school.

You know, the only reason I even said the thing about doing the lottery again next year is because she criticized our school. I actually like a lot about our school and would not be devastated to stay, even though I recognize some of the challenges. But having another parent say, to my face, that my school is bad made me feel defensive. Which is the whole reason I said "Oh, well we might try to lottery in somewhere else if we can. We've heard great things about [her IB school]." So for her to then say that using the lottery to go to another school is selfish.... it was just such a bait and switch, which was annoying coming from someone who doesn't even have kids in the school system yet. I'm generally a very positive person but I was having an off day and running into this rude, entitled person made it that much worse.

No, you are just annoyed with yourself that you didn't speak up and defend yourself. You are mad at her because she spoke up and said something and then you were afraid of voicing any kind of dissent so you just stood their meekly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound like snobs. Just own it.

+1 She said the things to your face that you think about your kids' classmates but won't voice. That makes her braver or ruder or maybe she just dgaf about you, but you're on the same mental wavelength, she just said the quiet part out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

OP here. I was annoyed because she was openly rude to me. She criticized my kid's school and then told me she didn't think I should be allowed to use the lottery to try to get my kid into a better school.

You know, the only reason I even said the thing about doing the lottery again next year is because she criticized our school. I actually like a lot about our school and would not be devastated to stay, even though I recognize some of the challenges. But having another parent say, to my face, that my school is bad made me feel defensive. Which is the whole reason I said "Oh, well we might try to lottery in somewhere else if we can. We've heard great things about [her IB school]." So for her to then say that using the lottery to go to another school is selfish.... it was just such a bait and switch, which was annoying coming from someone who doesn't even have kids in the school system yet. I'm generally a very positive person but I was having an off day and running into this rude, entitled person made it that much worse.

I mean, yes, it's rude to tell someone that their kid's school isn't very good. But I think the bolded is the real issue. You didn't speak up and defend the school, you caved. Because you actually agree with her -- you are, in fact, planning to try to lottery into her IB school because of your negative opinion about the school. And so the encounter bothers you, not only because she was rude, but also because she touched a nerve. Personally, I would avoid this woman, because she does sound rude, but you sound defensive -- you were defensive talking to her, and you're defensive now. If you were more comfortable with your choices, comments like hers wouldn't bother you so much. They might be rude, but they wouldn't linger so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever. Your life is boring, right? I had a new mom of two weeks, tell me that I must bundel my kids and how to feed them, etc... Mine were 1 and 3 at that time... and this was in equator climate! I was like, smile, move on, don't see her again.

You are obviously a shitty mother who doesn't care about her kids if you're not putting them in triple snowsuits any time it dips below 95 degrees. I am going to call CPS on you. You'll get them back after you've taken some parenting classes.

Oh dear! That was her intention too! Lucky for me, country we were in had no CPS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you both agree your current school isn't good. Well, you get get offended that she agrees with you.

She doesn't like that people live where they know they don't like the school, then try to work the system to get out of their choice. I mean, that's a fair complaint. She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but I don't think you can really criticize her for that view.

OP here. I was annoyed because she was openly rude to me. She criticized my kid's school and then told me she didn't think I should be allowed to use the lottery to try to get my kid into a better school.

You know, the only reason I even said the thing about doing the lottery again next year is because she criticized our school. I actually like a lot about our school and would not be devastated to stay, even though I recognize some of the challenges. But having another parent say, to my face, that my school is bad made me feel defensive. Which is the whole reason I said "Oh, well we might try to lottery in somewhere else if we can. We've heard great things about [her IB school]." So for her to then say that using the lottery to go to another school is selfish.... it was just such a bait and switch, which was annoying coming from someone who doesn't even have kids in the school system yet. I'm generally a very positive person but I was having an off day and running into this rude, entitled person made it that much worse.

Others are right. You are mad that you were a silent pushover who smiled at her rudness.

[Anonymous]

She’s a loon and a rude one at that. Steer clear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd avoid chatting with her from now on. Wave and keep walking

This. There is a mom in my neighborhood who gives unsolicited advice out the wazoo, who claims that people stop her on the street to take pictures of her child (don't even get me started on that one) and a ton of other obnoxious behavior.

When I see her coming I get out my phone to make a work call, have to rush to a meeting, etc. She has every right to be who she is but it drives me bonkers so I distance myself. Be friendly but don't engage if you can help it.

[Anonymous]

It's like you can make fun of your own mom, but someone else can't.

I'd just write this off as a bad interaction and not worry too much about it. I think everyone is not at their best right now.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks all who told me to just forget about it— you are right and she’s not worth my time. I appreciate the opportunity to vent. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and just could not with this woman today. Oh well, happens to the best of us. Onward.