My husband is such a condescending ass

[Anonymous]

I'd have asked him to remind me where he graduated from medical school. What a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I communicate with disdain as well, even though I hate it. I have low self esteem and also my parents communicated that way as well. It is a very difficult habit to break and does not necessarily reflect underlying feelings about you.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like an annoying know it all a$$hol$. You should tell him so.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. This is a warning to people who want to check certain boxes before marriage. It's always good to check the caring person box first. He sounds like a jerk.

[Anonymous]

<<It's always good to check the caring person box first>>

+100

Sad that people are raised to think any other way!

[Anonymous]

Birth control. Really.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like poor communication all around

[Anonymous]

Contempt is one of the "four horsemen" that predict future divorce (https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he tall? Did he have a good job when you met him? Does he have a good head of hair and was he funny when you met him?

Op here. Yep, he checked the boxes at the time.

Sorry

NP. This response made me LOL. Like if she'd said 'nope- he was short, balding, dull and worked at blockbuster' she wouldn't be deserving of our condolences.

OP, I'd want to address it with him and just set limits/rules to how you speak to each other. Stop doing what makes each other crazy- through counseling if he agrees.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of this mutha trucka.

Guess what smug married people?

People know assholes like this exist and they don’t get married. They don’t have to deal with this shit.

It’s better to be single and on the couch than dealing with this asshole on a regular basis.

You know I’m right.

[Anonymous]

+1 in asking him where he got his medical degree. After that, ignore him, this arguing over everything is not accomplishing anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is your tone of voice when you interact with him? I don’t think you deserve his attitude no matter what it is, but did you snap at him when telling him to clean your wet kid? Or did you ask him nicely? Do you treat him like a partner or like someone you order around and are constantly disappointed in?

Have you sat him down to tell him that the way he speaks to you makes you feel bad? Use “I feel” sentences because everything in a relationship is subjective.

Do you think he’s cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm, reflects pretty poorly on you that you chose to marry him, doesn’t it.

Don’t you get tired of posting the same comment on every relationship thread? Like literally any thread that has a woman writing about how badly her husband treats her, I see a comment from (presumably) you saying “you chose to marry him”

Get a life!

It will always be true that people should own their bad choices. If they don’t, they will never stop making bad choices. If OP doesn’t even know why she married a condescending ass, then her next husband will also be a condescending ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd have asked him to remind me where he graduated from medical school. What a jerk.

Because the way to cure a condescending ass is to be a condescending ass yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is your tone of voice when you interact with him? I don’t think you deserve his attitude no matter what it is, but did you snap at him when telling him to clean your wet kid? Or did you ask him nicely? Do you treat him like a partner or like someone you order around and are constantly disappointed in?

Have you sat him down to tell him that the way he speaks to you makes you feel bad? Use “I feel” sentences because everything in a relationship is subjective.

Do you think he’s cheating?

+1

He could be behaving this way because he is just a d*ck. OR he might be behaving this way due to feeling resentful about something you are doing or some way you are behaving. It’s worth exploring before you decide you want a divorce!!

I say this as a DW who was able to make headway with my condescending, know it all DH when I started respecting him more across the board. He was then much more open to me gently pointing out times he was being a bit ridiculous (mine likes to contradict doctors too).