Please STOP!!! - Thread for Those Upset About Independent School Decisions

[Anonymous]

OP don't be so angry.
Yes, there are a lot of mean things said, but try not to lose it.
We are African American, and my child scored very well on the WPPSI and on privately administered school readiness tests (which we did to prep her for the play dates). And we still did not get into the top 3.
So you should be proud of your child. There were LOTS of very bright African American (and White) children applying...they chose yours.

[Anonymous]

pp here. We did NOT apply for financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, vulgar name calling. You could tell where this forum was going to go from the first posting!

Hysterical.

Posting the "chip on shoulder" response in reaction to someone's sincere accounting of their life experience was FAR more offensive than the use of vulgar language.

[Anonymous]

to op i am sorry your feelings are hurt. i think the way people think is b/c most of us are white applying for these schools and since the schools say they want diversity and a diverse candidate gets in i guess people put a reason on it. i know it makes you feel badly, but you need to prepare your child that this is how the world thinks whether you like it or not. i would start NOW instilling in your child that it doesn't matter what people think and that they need to know who they are inside b/c they are entering a different world at these big 3 schools. i am white and not diverse by looks but consider myself quite diverse from most of my wealthy friends at my private exclusive school (where i was on scholarship). people would ask"where do you summer?" my answer "at home" told it all unbelievable, as they all summered at the most pristine places in the country. i did feel out of place and it took a LONG time for me to find myself at that school. i wish someone had prepared me a little better. your child will be fine and don't worry about what other people say. honestly, i don't think they mean it in a nasty way, i think they are just thinking out loud and trying to figure out why certain people got in and others did not. who knows? anyway, this whole thing brings out the worst in people as people get very protective when it comes to their kids! (me included)! anyway, i think when you have 20 kids picked out of who knows? 200-300 applications people are trying to figure out some sort of reasoning in all of the chaos. i have no doubt your child is bright and deserves to be in her school.

[Anonymous]

PP very kind post

[Anonymous]

16:21 great post.

[Anonymous]

I have never met any nonminority person who thought it would be a good idea for their children to go to an exclusively nonminority school. I'm sure those people are out there -- don't care to meet them. So the support for diversity is sincere and real. The problem is that people are not honest with themselves. I believe the subconcious truth might be "I really want my child to attend a diverse school and I hope they admit a lot of deserving, bright minority children ... right AFTER they admit mine! So it's not as personal as I'm sure it seems to you, OP. It's just that we all want the same thing -- that our child be admitted to our first choice school!! I don't envy you always having to wonder what people's true feelings are, but please give us the benefit of the doubt -- we are pleased to have you with us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start NOW instilling in your child that it doesn't matter what people think and that they need to know who they are inside b/c they are entering a different world at these big 3 schools.

From 14:41 Poster. I am not sure if my story was the one that drew the "Chip on the shoulder response" My whole point was to mention that although I did benefit from going there, I knew going in that I didn't need to go there and would do well enough on my own. I only talked about the world of private school, not even the world of fitting in with the kids from your neighborhood after going to private school. So one thing I have learned after years of hard experience is that you can't let other people define who you are and you have to be prepared to subtly or not so subtly let people know when the line is crossed. As someone mentioned, you do give people the benefit of the doubt, because I think if you don't you miss out meeting great people while you are protecting yourself. At the same time, you have to prepare yourself that there are those people out there that will say insensitive things some don’t realize, some realize and don’t care, some do it because that’s how they are. If you probably imagine, I am not just even talking about diversity and school admissions – I have heard people ask and say wildly inappropriate things about a variety of topics in this lifetime – most of it at work not the days of being in school!

[Anonymous]

OP -

I couldn't agree with you more. You have to realize that this message board is made up primarily of very affluent families, mostly white who have a tremendous amount of disposable money. What bothers me a lot is, not necessarily them having a lot of money, but their attitude towards us working class slobs.

Signed,
A poor white slob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my child scored very well on the WPPSI and on privately administered school readiness tests (which we did to prep her for the play dates). And we still did not get into the top 3.

"privately administered school readiness tests"!!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I read the different threads and posts I am becoming very annoyed that people in this area are so petty!!!

Yes my DC is from Maryland and yes we applied for Financial Aid and yes we are African - American and yes we did get into a Top 3 Tier 1 District of Columbia Private School (which is how many of you would describe the school).

No we do not have any connections and no our DC did not attend a feeder pre-school.

Is my child less worthy than yours? Should my child not have been offered this opportunity because we live in Maryland and we are African American and Applied for Financial Aid???

My child and other children of color, children of gay and lesbian couples, children from various religious and cultural backgrounds, and children of families who do not make 500,000 a year deserve every option your children deserve.

I am not a drug addict nor is my husband and my DC just like many of yours is nice child. So please stop making me and I am sure some other parents feel as if we have stole something from you Our children just like yours are entitled to the best this area has to offer.

PLEASE STOP - Some of the comments being made are very offensive and not called for.

I'm not sure I understand your post. My DC is at at "Top 3" school in NW. I knkow many parents who live in Maryland and are African American and who applied for financial aid, and who were accepted. My guess is that, candidly, either your DC or your family, simply did not stack up against the competition, black, white, or otherwise. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As I read the different threads and posts I am becoming very annoyed that people in this area are so petty!!!

Yes my DC is from Maryland and yes we applied for Financial Aid and yes we are African - American and yes we did get into a Top 3 Tier 1 District of Columbia Private School (which is how many of you would describe the school).

No we do not have any connections and no our DC did not attend a feeder pre-school.

Is my child less worthy than yours? Should my child not have been offered this opportunity because we live in Maryland and we are African American and Applied for Financial Aid???

My child and other children of color, children of gay and lesbian couples, children from various religious and cultural backgrounds, and children of families who do not make 500,000 a year deserve every option your children deserve.

I am not a drug addict nor is my husband and my DC just like many of yours is nice child. So please stop making me and I am sure some other parents feel as if we have stole something from you Our children just like yours are entitled to the best this area has to offer.

PLEASE STOP - Some of the comments being made are very offensive and not called for.

I'm afraid your plaintive wail of a post will result in the reverse of what you intended. People will not stop because your rambling and near non-sensical post only achieved one thing - it displays a sense of entitlement (read - affirmative action) and anger and, yes, chip on your shoulder that so many of the non-AA secretly believe that an inordinate amont of AA feel.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand how you feel (I think) but I would recommend that you develop a thicker skin on this subject. Do you REALLY believe you should be there? People who are confident do not need to justify anything. Just a thought!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Um, yeah. I feel you OP.

Sometimes the board gets pretty gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my child scored very well on the WPPSI and on privately administered school readiness tests (which we did to prep her for the play dates). And we still did not get into the top 3.

"privately administered school readiness tests"!!?

I believe that's a euphemism for "cheating."