Allow me to vent about lifestyle "catfishing"

[Anonymous]

It is the nature of online dating.

I can't tell you how many women I know who had husbands that hated being at the beach and hated being at the ocean and on the sand.

After divorce all the mens profiles mentioned loving the beach, loving long walks on the beach etc etc etc.

[Anonymous]

The worst who is the heavy smokers that post that
they are non smokers. (men)

After meeting and going out a couple of times the male smokers said they did not want to date women smokers
because they don't age well and women non smokers are more attractive.

[Anonymous]

Understand, nowadays a lot of males in their 20's and 30's that are single are heavily into online gaming.

My boyfriend has a very difficult finding workers who can show up on time (8:00 am) because they are online gaming all night.

[Anonymous]

Meh, I think you need to lighten up a bit. I’m a bookish introvert and my profile used to make that clear, but there were pics of me doing active, outdoor things because those are the activities you take pictures of. No one took pictures of me reading. And even if I had pics of me reading, I wouldn’t use those on a match.com profile because that would be weird, even though I was looking for a fellow reader. I wasn’t trying to mislead anyone. It’s a matter of what types of activities we humans take photos of — social activities and pretty activities and activities in nature. We don’t snap shots of Minecraft. That doesn’t mean everyone is trying to mislead you (although certainly some people are!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is no different than how dating was before online dating or apps. People put up an image that may or may not be an accurate reflection of how they are. You have to get to know someone. The internet won't magically change or speed up that process.

I know, and maybe this is just an age-old question but, why do people misrepresent themselves, ever?! Just be yourself, because if you are not, people are only going to like you for who you are NOT, and this can't end well.

I just don't understand why people still do it.

I think it is less about deceit and more aspirational. Same reason people go out and buy camping equipment and don't camp, exercise equipment and don't exercise, etc. People a rarely honest with themselves, let alone potential dates or the faceless internet.

I get that, and sure, we do like to show our best self. But what I don't like is when a guy makes it look like he's this fun, adventurous person that loves going on road trips and being outdoors but then when we're actually dating it's Netflix, board games, takeout, and video games (again, not counting during a pandemic). And when I say, let's go places and do things, I'm "not chill" and "high maintenance." This has happened at least twice.

And no. I'm not "high maintenance" in the usual sense of the term, but I am pretty high energy and hate being lazy. If you're a couch potato. Stop pretending to be anything other than a couch potato.

[Anonymous]

Everyone should put their drivers license/state ID or passport photo as their profile pic and stop the BS. Force people to read the blurbs and talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it's obnoxious, but can you can screen early on for it by asking questions such as - "I see you from your photos that you like to travel . Where have you been recently?" If they say "Oh, well I went to Italy after college" (and they are in their 30s), then you have your answer. Or, if they show hiking photos, ask them "Where do you most frequently hike?" You can learn a lot by asking follow-on questions to the pictures, and can quickly weed out those who aren't actually living the lifestyle depicted in their pictures.

100% this. DH and I met online 10 years ago. He stood out to me because he asked questions like this. Even if he was fishing to see if my profile was an accurate representation of me, it showed that he actually read it and paid attention to it. It definitely set him apart from the other guys who obviously copied and pasted their greetings to multiple women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I get that, and sure, we do like to show our best self. But what I don't like is when a guy makes it look like he's this fun, adventurous person that loves going on road trips and being outdoors but then when we're actually dating it's Netflix, board games, takeout, and video games (again, not counting during a pandemic). And when I say, let's go places and do things, I'm "not chill" and "high maintenance." This has happened at least twice.

And no. I'm not "high maintenance" in the usual sense of the term, but I am pretty high energy and hate being lazy. If you're a couch potato. Stop pretending to be anything other than a couch potato.

But isn't that the point of dating? Can't you figure this out after a few dates and then move on to someone else if it's not what you're looking for? I'm a big fan of writing in your profile what you are looking for, so that it's clear and to the point, and then screening for guys that want the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Everyone became savvy in this obvious online dating self advertising game, so it's basically just a hook. Both mena and women are guilty of this.
This means you still have to do all the leg work and figure out are people what their pictures/intro says they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I get that, and sure, we do like to show our best self. But what I don't like is when a guy makes it look like he's this fun, adventurous person that loves going on road trips and being outdoors but then when we're actually dating it's Netflix, board games, takeout, and video games (again, not counting during a pandemic). And when I say, let's go places and do things, I'm "not chill" and "high maintenance." This has happened at least twice.

And no. I'm not "high maintenance" in the usual sense of the term, but I am pretty high energy and hate being lazy. If you're a couch potato. Stop pretending to be anything other than a couch potato.

But isn't that the point of dating? Can't you figure this out after a few dates and then move on to someone else if it's not what you're looking for? I'm a big fan of writing in your profile what you are looking for, so that it's clear and to the point, and then screening for guys that want the same thing.

Some people will do and say whatever it takes to get laid.

Others will think they want something out of a partner but they really don't. If the example is the guy who pretends to be outdoorsy but prefers video games, it could be that he is attracted to athletic women and wants to be seen as something an athletic woman would like, but then doesn't want to share the lifestyle they live. There are plenty of other examples.

Just be yourself, because it's going to come out sooner or later.

[Anonymous]

Also at first glance the thread called "lifestyle catfishing" sounds like it's going to be about guys taking pictures of Ferraris and Teslas that don't belong to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex had on his match profile that he worked out 4-5 days a week! I guess he considers taking the trash out a workout. I feel you!

Ex’s actually do work out quite a bit. It’s called a “revenge body”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex had on his match profile that he worked out 4-5 days a week! I guess he considers taking the trash out a workout. I feel you!

Ex’s actually do work out quite a bit. It’s called a “revenge body”.

This is so true. I had to look at those same, busted ass “34 longs” for 9 years. Less than 6 months after the divorce is final she’s a cross fitter with triple D’s.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe you don't know this because your'e searching for men but women are experts at this practice you describe in such details. It goes both ways. Btw, the closeup pic of your eyeball is a dead giveaway that you're obese and not "active".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone should put their drivers license/state ID or passport photo as their profile pic and stop the BS. Force people to read the blurbs and talk.

I am good with that; mine is from 16 years ago. It was horrible at the time, but today...