Trauma from emotional abuse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm practically in the same boat, but I blocked my MIL because I don't need to hear her crap.

Also, my cheating narcissist has a bday this week. So, you know, we should all be kissing the ground he walks on all this week and last.

Why do you ladies stay? I don’t understand how you can stay. Is it you are afraid of being on your own? Lack confidence? I truly do not get it.

For those who have children, we stay because we fear have to leave our children with the abusive man alone and him retaliating through them. If I had no children, I would have been gone a long time ago.

Or woman. My SIL is very emotionally abusive and my brother stays for the same reason. Much of her anger is directed at my brother and at one particular child and there is no way my brother would ever put that child in a situation to have to be alone for long periods with my SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm practically in the same boat, but I blocked my MIL because I don't need to hear her crap.

Also, my cheating narcissist has a bday this week. So, you know, we should all be kissing the ground he walks on all this week and last.

.

A Taurus narcissist is one of the worst types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm practically in the same boat, but I blocked my MIL because I don't need to hear her crap.

Also, my cheating narcissist has a bday this week. So, you know, we should all be kissing the ground he walks on all this week and last.

Why do you ladies stay? I don’t understand how you can stay. Is it you are afraid of being on your own? Lack confidence? I truly do not get it.

OP here. It took me a while to confirm my suspicions that he was cheating. Then, because he kisses and tells me he loves me, I naively assumed he'd confess, show remorse and we could work on it.

Also, I do not have a well paid job so I AM afraid of making it on my own. Thankfully we do not have children.

You need to leave now. Unless you have been through menopause you will get pregnant and doom a child to this life.

If your husband is recently unemployed and you truly don’t make much (as in you make less than 100k) it is doubtful you’d pay alimony. Your ex has the ability to work.

+1. And even if you do pay alimony, it may be worth every single penny to be free of him. Alimony is not forever.

[Anonymous]

Take notes about what is happening. Keep them someplace where he can't find them. (In the cloud? Password-protected.) It will help you emotionally manage the gaslighting. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

No kids? Leave now. You literally have no reason whatsoever to stay. Get a mediator, split 50/50 and you do not have to pay alimony if you agree on an all terms. It is cheaper than fighting. I agreed to waive alimony just to get out (no cheating, but I wanted out).

[Anonymous]

OP, you mentioned that you don't have kids. That means you can leave NOW. TODAY. There is no reason to delay. How much money do you make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned that you don't have kids. That means you can leave NOW. TODAY. There is no reason to delay. How much money do you make?

I make 60k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned that you don't have kids. That means you can leave NOW. TODAY. There is no reason to delay. How much money do you make?

I make 60k

That is plenty to support yourself. Leave...now.

[Anonymous]

Make an exit plan quietly.

[Anonymous]

He didn't stay home to support kids, he's just unemployed. It's not the same situation. Seriously, get out, please. I was in an abusive relationship and I had all sorts of reasons to stay and it all melted away when I got out and I could think more clearly.

[Anonymous]

OP, you may be using "being quarantined" as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

OP. You make plenty of money to get out today, so stop with the excuses. Do you have family and friends you can lean on emotionally so you don’t continue to be weak and contact him? Covid is it a good reason for staying.

[Anonymous]

Op, hopefully you are not still sleeping with him? Also, since you are saying he has had multiple affairs, why weren’t you gone long before the quarantine? Get your act together and leave, you have no excuse.

I feel like you have posted before....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm practically in the same boat, but I blocked my MIL because I don't need to hear her crap.

Also, my cheating narcissist has a bday this week. So, you know, we should all be kissing the ground he walks on all this week and last.

Why do you ladies stay? I don’t understand how you can stay. Is it you are afraid of being on your own? Lack confidence? I truly do not get it.

OP here. It took me a while to confirm my suspicions that he was cheating. Then, because he kisses and tells me he loves me, I naively assumed he'd confess, show remorse and we could work on it.

Also, I do not have a well paid job so I AM afraid of making it on my own. Thankfully we do not have children.

You need to leave now. Unless you have been through menopause you will get pregnant and doom a child to this life.

If your husband is recently unemployed and you truly don’t make much (as in you make less than 100k) it is doubtful you’d pay alimony. Your ex has the ability to work.

+1. And even if you do pay alimony, it may be worth every single penny to be free of him. Alimony is not forever.

Plus, it's not like if you leave some alimony alarm goes off. You can leave and just not talk to him or be with him. There's no requirement you leave and immediately file for divorce. And you don't have to tell him you plan to file or anything. A friend of mine has a saying, "You're on step 37. You need to be on step one." Don't imagine all the things that might happen. Just concentrate on the one thing you need right now to be safe.

[Anonymous]

Hm. I would figure out how to become very uninteresting to him so he drops you and becomes some else’s financial problem.

I am not a divorce lawyer but I am pretty sure you do not want to be the one to leave the house for financial reasons or maybe abandonment reasons.

I have been reading about narcissists a lot. Again I am no expert. It seems they love drama and attention. If you become boring he will move on to people who can feed his need for drama.

One reason we normal people feel nuts is because we want the narcissist to agree with us. But they never will admit to anything bad.