"Porch parties" and teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I haven't done this, bc we don't really know our neighbors in our new area, I've seen a few of them in driveways in lawn chairs sitting about 10 feet apart in a circle, maybe 6 of them. I assume for the bathroom they either walk home or go behind a tree (it's dark and these are suburbs)

I actually felt kind of jealous that I don't have that option. No kids were outside. IAM guessing by their ages that kids are all teens anyway

Grab your folding chair and pick a spot 10 feet away from the group. I have been feeling lonely and I sit on my porch and engage (from a good distance) all passersby. I have enjoyed talking to a variety of people and we are even planning a block party for some time in the (far off) future when it is safe.

[Anonymous]

If you're in MD, no more porch parties...6', 10', 25', whatever. Governor has issued stay-at-home order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're in MD, no more porch parties...6', 10', 25', whatever. Governor has issued stay-at-home order.

About time. This board is driving me crazy. NO PORCH PARTIES. You do not need to see your neighbors and hang out even 10 feet away. What idiots.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think the main problem is that there is ZERO clarity coming from officials about what they mean by stay-at-home. I have a feeling that the people throwing violin parties honestly don't understand that that it undermines the effort to contain the spread. You're effectively opening your protective bubble up to people who have probably opened up their bubble to people who are complete strangers to you. It's like having unprotected sex. (You should assume that anybody who would have unprotected sex with you has done it with someone else, and by doing it with them, you're essentially sleeping with everyone they had unprotected sex with.)

My understanding is that the 6 feet rule is for the unavoidable times when you need to interact with people who are outside of your home group. You should assume you have COVID-19, and act as if you have it when you're around your non-home people. So, if I HAD to go to the pharmacy and I had COVID-19, I'd thoroughly mask myself and stand as far away from the non-infected people as I could. And I'd minimize the time I had to spend around them. I most definitely would NOT sit on my front lawn for an hour or two listening to a cello concert while my uninfected neighbors were 6 feet away from me.

But like I said, maybe I'm on the extreme end of the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

But, if the virus really can't travel 6 feet, especially in the open air, what's the problem?

I haven't done a porch party or cello party, but I'd probably be a bit more sane if I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, if the virus really can't travel 6 feet, especially in the open air, what's the problem?

I haven't done a porch party or cello party, but I'd probably be a bit more sane if I did.

It is still hanging out with other people. Definitely against the spirit of the rule and likely to result in a fine or being arrested now. Everyone wants to think they have outsmarted the system. They are idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're in MD, no more porch parties...6', 10', 25', whatever. Governor has issued stay-at-home order.

But the order still allows visiting parks as long as distance is maintained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two 19 year olds and 16 year old. They’re home and aren’t going anywhere.

You’ve got good kids there. I have an 18 year old who will not stay home. Nothing I can really do about it.

But I’m not hosting or encouraging anything.

I hope your 18 year old doesn't carry the virus home. He/she could be asymptomatic yet infect others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two 19 year olds and 16 year old. They’re home and aren’t going anywhere.

You’ve got good kids there. I have an 18 year old who will not stay home. Nothing I can really do about it.

But I’m not hosting or encouraging anything.

Asking seriously and without snark or judgment, PP: When you say "will not stay"--do you mean your kid has a job to go to? Or just that he or she is going out socializing?

Does your kid have access to a car and drives off? Why not take the keys and keep them and other car keys where the teen can't get them?
If friends come and pick up your teen, what do you say or do then? Is this a "you're an adult and must make your own choices" thing on your side and/or on your teen's?

What has your teen said when you explain that even if he or she feels just fine, kid can be a carrier and give a potentially deadly virus to others in the house? That when teen is with friends, teen is also "with" those friends' potentially Covid-positive family, friends, coworkers? What does your teen say to any of that?

I'm seeing other posts and articles about 18+ HS/college students "refusing" to stay home and away from friends. The Post article yesterday even profiled one 18 year old whose mother is immunocompromised yet he will not stop hanging out with friends, going to the store unnecessarily, etc. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

[Anonymous]

Sorry....these 6 foot parties do not work. You know the adults do not follow it. Plus the kids get invited and play directly with one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two 19 year olds and 16 year old. They’re home and aren’t going anywhere.

You’ve got good kids there. I have an 18 year old who will not stay home. Nothing I can really do about it.

But I’m not hosting or encouraging anything.

Asking seriously and without snark or judgment, PP: When you say "will not stay"--do you mean your kid has a job to go to? Or just that he or she is going out socializing?

Does your kid have access to a car and drives off? Why not take the keys and keep them and other car keys where the teen can't get them?
If friends come and pick up your teen, what do you say or do then? Is this a "you're an adult and must make your own choices" thing on your side and/or on your teen's?

What has your teen said when you explain that even if he or she feels just fine, kid can be a carrier and give a potentially deadly virus to others in the house? That when teen is with friends, teen is also "with" those friends' potentially Covid-positive family, friends, coworkers? What does your teen say to any of that?

I'm seeing other posts and articles about 18+ HS/college students "refusing" to stay home and away from friends. The Post article yesterday even profiled one 18 year old whose mother is immunocompromised yet he will not stop hanging out with friends, going to the store unnecessarily, etc. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

He's 18, and does have a job, but his hours have been reduced drastically. He also has college acceptances, scholarships and merit aid. With his most recent actions he is putting all of that in jeopardy as well.

We did take keys to the cars. It did not keep him home. The second we fell asleep he would leave the house in the middle of the night on foot (new activity in the last week). He met up with one friend, but the friend was also caught leaving home, so his mom is trying her best to keep her son in the house, also taking away keys.

We are not immune compromised here, but yes, he is putting himself and us at risk, even by just sneaking out during the night. Still I am more worried about him getting into more serious trouble, or finding the wrong crowd at night.

We are regrouping this afternoon, tempers have calmed, and will have an adult conversation with him, rather than treating him like a young teen, which is not working. We all (me, dad, and son) need to come to a compromise and understanding about acting responsibly moving forward, and during the pandemic in particular. We are willing to try a new path forward, similar to your "you're an adult and must make your own choices", however, these are our house rules for all adults.

I do not intend to kick him out, at least not at this point. We may offer to have him to live in the loft area above our garage, provided that he keeps up with any online work/classes, and stays home during the night. , When his work hours pick up, maybe we will charge rent. I really don't want to charge money, but he needs to have a safe place to be, and contribute some how as an "adult". I could always save his rent and give it back to him for college in August, IF things work out.

I really don't know the answer, but I'm willing to try a compromise. He was a good kid, but has been struggling the past two weeks. He was struggling early last summer, but having a job really helped him focus, and gave him a place to be. He's a hard worker, and enjoys earning money both to spend and save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two 19 year olds and 16 year old. They’re home and aren’t going anywhere.

You’ve got good kids there. I have an 18 year old who will not stay home. Nothing I can really do about it.

But I’m not hosting or encouraging anything.

Asking seriously and without snark or judgment, PP: When you say "will not stay"--do you mean your kid has a job to go to? Or just that he or she is going out socializing?

Does your kid have access to a car and drives off? Why not take the keys and keep them and other car keys where the teen can't get them?
If friends come and pick up your teen, what do you say or do then? Is this a "you're an adult and must make your own choices" thing on your side and/or on your teen's?

What has your teen said when you explain that even if he or she feels just fine, kid can be a carrier and give a potentially deadly virus to others in the house? That when teen is with friends, teen is also "with" those friends' potentially Covid-positive family, friends, coworkers? What does your teen say to any of that?

I'm seeing other posts and articles about 18+ HS/college students "refusing" to stay home and away from friends. The Post article yesterday even profiled one 18 year old whose mother is immunocompromised yet he will not stop hanging out with friends, going to the store unnecessarily, etc. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

He's 18, and does have a job, but his hours have been reduced drastically. He also has college acceptances, scholarships and merit aid. With his most recent actions he is putting all of that in jeopardy as well.

We did take keys to the cars. It did not keep him home. The second we fell asleep he would leave the house in the middle of the night on foot (new activity in the last week). He met up with one friend, but the friend was also caught leaving home, so his mom is trying her best to keep her son in the house, also taking away keys.

We are not immune compromised here, but yes, he is putting himself and us at risk, even by just sneaking out during the night. Still I am more worried about him getting into more serious trouble, or finding the wrong crowd at night.

We are regrouping this afternoon, tempers have calmed, and will have an adult conversation with him, rather than treating him like a young teen, which is not working. We all (me, dad, and son) need to come to a compromise and understanding about acting responsibly moving forward, and during the pandemic in particular. We are willing to try a new path forward, similar to your "you're an adult and must make your own choices", however, these are our house rules for all adults.

I do not intend to kick him out, at least not at this point. We may offer to have him to live in the loft area above our garage, provided that he keeps up with any online work/classes, and stays home during the night. , When his work hours pick up, maybe we will charge rent. I really don't want to charge money, but he needs to have a safe place to be, and contribute some how as an "adult". I could always save his rent and give it back to him for college in August, IF things work out.

I really don't know the answer, but I'm willing to try a compromise. He was a good kid, but has been struggling the past two weeks. He was struggling early last summer, but having a job really helped him focus, and gave him a place to be. He's a hard worker, and enjoys earning money both to spend and save.

This is a really good video: https://www.facebook.com/arun.bhandari.7/videos/10222641432934078/UzpfSTUwNTEyNzgwMDoxMDE1ODA4NDQzMjY4NzgwMQ/

Make him watch it with you!

[Anonymous]

Google the reports about the College Spring Breakers who ended up with COVID. Maybe that will help him understand that he is not immune. And remind him that he is responsible not only for his health but for your health. How would he feel if one of you got seriously ill?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But, if the virus really can't travel 6 feet, especially in the open air, what's the problem?

I haven't done a porch party or cello party, but I'd probably be a bit more sane if I did.

In China, they KNOW that a person infected got a bus. Someone who sat 18 ft away got it and then the person who was originally infected got off the bus. Someone else later got on the bus and they got it too.

STAY AT HOME.

Also, this https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/03/30/coronavirus-social-distancing-mit-researcher-lydia-bourouiba-27-feet/5091526002/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're in MD, no more porch parties...6', 10', 25', whatever. Governor has issued stay-at-home order.

About time. This board is driving me crazy. NO PORCH PARTIES. You do not need to see your neighbors and hang out even 10 feet away. What idiots.

Aren’t you home during these parties?