Travel for childcare help

[Anonymous]

In your case, yes, I would go. Bring your own food, a spare tire and find gas stations in advance.

[Anonymous]

My parents are much closer, but we're doing the same. We started our quarantine period earlier than most, so we're here now. I meal planned for the week and brought nearly all the food plus plenty of stuff to keep the kids entertained. DH or I periodically emerge from where we're hiding and working to lay down the law with the kids or help out a bit.

The win to my parents is they were getting bored and lonely so they like the activity. They wanted us to come. Plus, my mom doesn't enjoy cooking after feeding our family for countless years, so she's happy to have us here cooking and meal planning.

Since it's an easier drive for us, we're going to be coming back and forth a bit. Like come for a week or so, head home for a bit, and back again.

[Anonymous]

I took my daughter to my mom's house as soon as I had even an inkling that her daycare was closing. I cannot work from home and work an essential job. My mom is in good health, very active, and has plenty of room for DD to run around. It's been hard on me to be away from DD but she is having a great time on her "vacation" and it is a huge relief not to worry about childcare at this time.

I think your plan makes sense OP. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

I think travel to family ONE time is fine. Are you truly willing to stay there for weeks or MONTHS? Remember, this could last through summer...

My mental health would deteriorate FAST if I had to live with my parents or ILs for months... AND I love everyone dearly, so it’s not a relationship issue, it’s just that MONTHS is a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear this will not be a few weeks, but months now that schools are closed through the end of the year. We’ve been hesitant to travel North to stay with family because grandparents are in the high risk group due to age. We have 2 kids (15mos, 4yo) and both work FT. It’s not sustainable to have flexible hours and both kids home for months. Our employers are being great right now but it won’t last forever. How are others handling the decision to sink or swim? The drive to family is 8hrs which we could do overnight to minimize our stops since the kids will sleep. I’m worried about the risk of traveling and I’m worried about how to make it work without any help.

Our rationale for family help vs hiring help here is that we would all stay put at the family members house vs hiring a nanny who would be at free will after being in our home or whom lives with others who cannot or are not staying home. We don’t have a home that’s set up to support an au pair situation.

Pros and cons either way?

So you're willing to risk the lives of your parents for your selfish means?! You stay home and if you or your husband needs to quit your job to take care of your responsibility, YOUR CHILDREN, then this is what you do. Unbelievable! Murder your parents to keep your jobs. Aren't you a POS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear this will not be a few weeks, but months now that schools are closed through the end of the year. We’ve been hesitant to travel North to stay with family because grandparents are in the high risk group due to age. We have 2 kids (15mos, 4yo) and both work FT. It’s not sustainable to have flexible hours and both kids home for months. Our employers are being great right now but it won’t last forever. How are others handling the decision to sink or swim? The drive to family is 8hrs which we could do overnight to minimize our stops since the kids will sleep. I’m worried about the risk of traveling and I’m worried about how to make it work without any help.

Our rationale for family help vs hiring help here is that we would all stay put at the family members house vs hiring a nanny who would be at free will after being in our home or whom lives with others who cannot or are not staying home. We don’t have a home that’s set up to support an au pair situation.

Pros and cons either way?

So you're willing to risk the lives of your parents for your selfish means?! You stay home and if you or your husband needs to quit your job to take care of your responsibility, YOUR CHILDREN, then this is what you do. Unbelievable! Murder your parents to keep your jobs. Aren't you a POS!

NP. I fail to understand how, if both the family (parents/children) and grandparents are practicing social distancing for two weeks before combining households, that equates to murder in your eyes. Two weeks should be enough to rule out any illness...at least, that's the guidance that seems to be coming out from health care. At that point, if they need to combine households, what is the issue?
I'm pregnant and due in a month. DD, DH, and I are self-isolated at home. My parents are isolating at their home an hour away. When the time comes for me to go into labor, they are taking DD. We have no one else to leave her with. Our two backup plans (other families with children) either can't or won't isolate, so they are no longer an option for us. DH is planning on attending the birth, then leaving immediately, and I will spend the remainder of the time by myself in the hospital. What exactly would you have us do, leave a preschooler home alone to fend for herself for hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear this will not be a few weeks, but months now that schools are closed through the end of the year. We’ve been hesitant to travel North to stay with family because grandparents are in the high risk group due to age. We have 2 kids (15mos, 4yo) and both work FT. It’s not sustainable to have flexible hours and both kids home for months. Our employers are being great right now but it won’t last forever. How are others handling the decision to sink or swim? The drive to family is 8hrs which we could do overnight to minimize our stops since the kids will sleep. I’m worried about the risk of traveling and I’m worried about how to make it work without any help.

Our rationale for family help vs hiring help here is that we would all stay put at the family members house vs hiring a nanny who would be at free will after being in our home or whom lives with others who cannot or are not staying home. We don’t have a home that’s set up to support an au pair situation.

Pros and cons either way?

So you're willing to risk the lives of your parents for your selfish means?! You stay home and if you or your husband needs to quit your job to take care of your responsibility, YOUR CHILDREN, then this is what you do. Unbelievable! Murder your parents to keep your jobs. Aren't you a POS!

Lol, dramatic much? Sounds like you’re jealous that OP has parents willing to help. You’re like all those posters who call mothers of newborns a lazy POS for wanting help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Do
Not
Travel

This is you contribute to viral spread.
Stay home and look after your kids.

If it was possible to do my job and take care of my kids all day, I wouldn’t spend $3k a month on daycare. Trust me, I’d love to spend all this extra time enjoying my children but I need my job to provide for them. I’m only one person and I cannot do both.

This is why women should have husband's before having children

[Anonymous]

Jerk move PP. you wouldn’t say that to a man, you’d praise him for being a martyr.

[Anonymous]

How about now? Safer or less safe to travel for help?

[Anonymous]

Unbelievable! Willing to kill your parents for free childcare!

[Anonymous]

The level of empathy on this thread is disappointing.

You and your parents should self quarantine for the full two weeks. No grocery runs (only curbside pickup or delivery) and wiping down groceries.

This virus is insidious.

I think that families will have to do more of this. I have friends who have brought their elderly parent to live with them - not for childcare as children are grown or high school aged- but because it was the right thing for their elderly parent. This way the parent does not have to go out for anything, or in the case of one person -their nursing home has an outbreak and there are 50 patients & caregivers infected.

Everyone's situation is different. My kids are older and more self sufficient - tween & teen. I am mostly worried about my mother who is several states away. If this had happen when my kids were in preschool and a baby or kindergarten and toddler it would have been awful.

Finally there are people who are parents and who can't just deal with childcare at home while doing their jobs. They are the people who are keeping us alive now - doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists. The judgement on this thread has been so disappointing and so unnecessary. We need the people who can save lives to be working - without judgement from other people.

pp who had to send her dd to stay with her mom - I'm sorry you are having to do that. It sounds like the best option. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

^^^ and if I didn't make it clear, OP, I do think going to your parents is the right thing to do. Just as long as you all have self quarantined before you go or (if their house is big enough) after you arrive. Good luck. I can only imagine how hard this is.

I think it will be better for your parents and your kids and you guys.

Sending you a hug. These are hard decisions and hard times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The level of empathy on this thread is disappointing.

You and your parents should self quarantine for the full two weeks. No grocery runs (only curbside pickup or delivery) and wiping down groceries.

This virus is insidious.

I think that families will have to do more of this. I have friends who have brought their elderly parent to live with them - not for childcare as children are grown or high school aged- but because it was the right thing for their elderly parent. This way the parent does not have to go out for anything, or in the case of one person -their nursing home has an outbreak and there are 50 patients & caregivers infected.

Everyone's situation is different. My kids are older and more self sufficient - tween & teen. I am mostly worried about my mother who is several states away. If this had happen when my kids were in preschool and a baby or kindergarten and toddler it would have been awful.

Finally there are people who are parents and who can't just deal with childcare at home while doing their jobs. They are the people who are keeping us alive now - doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists. The judgement on this thread has been so disappointing and so unnecessary. We need the people who can save lives to be working - without judgement from other people.

pp who had to send her dd to stay with her mom - I'm sorry you are having to do that. It sounds like the best option. Hang in there.

+ a million to this