Travel for childcare help
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Anonymous
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It’s clear this will not be a few weeks, but months now that schools are closed through the end of the year. We’ve been hesitant to travel North to stay with family because grandparents are in the high risk group due to age. We have 2 kids (15mos, 4yo) and both work FT. It’s not sustainable to have flexible hours and both kids home for months. Our employers are being great right now but it won’t last forever. How are others handling the decision to sink or swim? The drive to family is 8hrs which we could do overnight to minimize our stops since the kids will sleep. I’m worried about the risk of traveling and I’m worried about how to make it work without any help.
Our rationale for family help vs hiring help here is that we would all stay put at the family members house vs hiring a nanny who would be at free will after being in our home or whom lives with others who cannot or are not staying home. We don’t have a home that’s set up to support an au pair situation. Pros and cons either way? |
Anonymous
| I’m thinking the same thing, OP. I don’t see any way other than moving in with someone for help. |
Anonymous
I would go to your family, assuming you’ve been really good quarantining yourselves up until now. If not, wait two weeks and then go. Mental health is important too and you’re right, it is not sustainable. I’m sure the grandparents and grandkids will have fun together as well. This is just one of many cases where having tests readily available would help in eliminating the uncertainty and worry. But regardless, you should still do it. |
Anonymous
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Other than going for walks in the neighborhood, we will have been quarantined for two weeks on Saturday. Grandparents, not as much, but with only occasional trips to the store.
We think that if everyone still feels good on Friday, then Saturday we will head down to them and ride this out for the foreseeable future there (DD's daycare is closed through end of April). The chances of all of us being asymptomatic carriers is slim. I am more concerned about us infecting the grandparents, but they are ok with that risk, miss their grandchild, and all their other social outlets have been cut off. It's not even so much for the childcare as it is for everyone's sanity, less trips to the store, and being together as the headlines get worse and worse. I'm glad others are thinking of doing this. |
Anonymous
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Do Not Travel This is you contribute to viral spread. Stay home and look after your kids. |
Anonymous
If it was possible to do my job and take care of my kids all day, I wouldn’t spend $3k a month on daycare. Trust me, I’d love to spend all this extra time enjoying my children but I need my job to provide for them. I’m only one person and I cannot do both. |
Anonymous
| I did this trip this past weekend. Luckily the roads were pretty empty, got their in record time. I packed all of the food and we stopped twice at large public parks where we didn’t interact with others (think RCP, the arboretum). I didn’t go inside any buildings. Peeing was a creative endeavor. I literally did not interact with a single human. It is completely doable. But it helps that my kid is in diapers |
Anonymous
| Are your parents up for this? And do they fully grasp the health risk? |
Anonymous
Indefinitely? While working full time and trying to to be #1 on the inevitable layoff list? And not even be able to burn off energy by yourselves at the park? Nah. I think it’s ok to go be with family if you’ve been quarantined from everyone else for 2 weeks. |
Anonymous
| We did this a week ago driving overnight. Parents accepted the risk and are both retired so it's two on two during the day. We wouldn't be able to swing our jobs without their help (or our kids' daycare and preschool reopening). |
Anonymous
| Are you leaving your kids there and coming back here to work? |
Anonymous
| You guys have pretty great parents to help you out like this. Please remember this. It’s a huge upheaval for them and exhausting. I don’t want to see any of you posting a year from now about your Boomer mother not respecting your boundaries or wanting a relationship with her grandkids. Basically don’t just use your parents. |
Anonymous
We’re considering going to my parents when we have quarantined long enough. We are both working remotely now, so we would basically be moving in (including taking the cat) for a while. Obviously we have discussed multiple times with parents to make sure they are on board because it’s a huge imposition. |
Anonymous
One of the PPs here. I agree and I am not going to use them for non-stop childcare. It's more for our collective sanity, less grocery trips, and being together while the world falls apart. My mom's social outlets have shut down so taking DD for walks (she used to walk dogs at the SPCA) will be very good for her. I envision DH and I continuing to do the insane dance of teleworking and childcare, but even an hour walk with grandma and grandpa, storytime, or grandma feeding DD her cereal would be helpful. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I'd go to the grandparents. You have to think longterm and this sounds like a good option.
It is so easy for people to pass judgement on others. People are doing their best. those who can do more should for those who can't. |