I feel like I was sexually assaulted

[Anonymous]

You were sexually assaulted.

Sounds like going somewhere with the intention of getting high and having sex isn't such a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were sexually assaulted.

Sounds like going somewhere with the intention of getting high and having sex isn't such a great idea.

+1. Should not have put yourself in that situation.

[Anonymous]

You were drunk and high. So much so that you blacked out. You don’t even know what you might have said. Personal responsibility, OP.

[Anonymous]

So he’s your friend, done this before, blah, blah ... get off this board and call him and have an adult conversation.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer up

She was irresponsible and can’t even remember what she did or didn’t say. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may have put herself in a bad situation but that doesn’t matter. No means no. And what kind of person hears somebody say “not right now” and proceeds anyway? I would never do that, drunk or not.

Maybe she said yes later, that’s just it, she does not know.

Or maybe it was later. As in, she said "later" and he waited for a while and then asked/tried again and met no resistance, so thought it was fine, especially considering they have a consensual sexual relationship. I agree that OP should talk to someone to help with her own feelings, but it's not clear that her partner had any reasonable expectation at the time that this wasn't ok. I've gotten drunk and had sex with my husband many times over the last 20 years on purpose. OP, you know this guy, right -- is he the type to take advantage? I know that my DH never would. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, OP. I hope you can work through your feelings and get to a place of healing.

[Anonymous]

No decent man would ever have sex with a woman who was so impaired (and if she felt that stoned, it would have been obvious). And, since he even said something about her not being into it, he clearly recognized that there was an issue. If he recognized that, he should have stopped.

Yes, OP, you have every right to feel violated. At bare minimum, you should cut this guy out of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went to his house with the intent to get high or drunk and have sex. And that’s what happened. He shouldn’t have done anything to you if you weren’t capable of saying yes. But you put yourself in a bad situation. And I’ll say it again, you went there knowing what was going to happen. There is no blame here. Just stupidity. Take responsibility for your own decisions and actions

ffs.. she said "not right now", and that the pot made her woozy.

Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. She was drunk and high. She might have THOUGHT she said it, but didn't. The brain doesn't work right with alcohol and drugs which is why they're controlled.

I'm pretty sure the guy realized she was impaired. He's a rapist.

BTW, I have never been drunk or high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You went to his house with the intent to get high or drunk and have sex. And that’s what happened. He shouldn’t have done anything to you if you weren’t capable of saying yes. But you put yourself in a bad situation. And I’ll say it again, you went there knowing what was going to happen. There is no blame here. Just stupidity. Take responsibility for your own decisions and actions

Wtf is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. If it feels like a sexual assault you should trust your instincts. Stay away from this person in the future. No need to explain yourself. Yes, being under the influence is a risk factor but this is not your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No decent man would ever have sex with a woman who was so impaired (and if she felt that stoned, it would have been obvious). And, since he even said something about her not being into it, he clearly recognized that there was an issue. If he recognized that, he should have stopped.

Yes, OP, you have every right to feel violated. At bare minimum, you should cut this guy out of your life.

He most likely was equally impaired as they were both drinking and stoned. Why does he hold the entire burden of everyone’s bad choices?

[Anonymous]

You got high together with the plan to have sex. It happened. Don’t put yourself in that position. Advice goes to both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No decent man would ever have sex with a woman who was so impaired (and if she felt that stoned, it would have been obvious). And, since he even said something about her not being into it, he clearly recognized that there was an issue. If he recognized that, he should have stopped.

Yes, OP, you have every right to feel violated. At bare minimum, you should cut this guy out of your life.

He most likely was equally impaired as they were both drinking and stoned. Why does he hold the entire burden of everyone’s bad choices?

+1

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry to hear it. Please take all the support, and leave the rest.

Leave him alone he’s sketchy.

I’m a lawyer. He’s not going to get charged with anything. I’m not judging whether he should or shouldn’t. It hardly matters. Just expect this would be an uphill battle at best. Move on I would suggest.

Please get therapy and support from only those whom you know would believe you and be sympathetic.
Last thing you need is a mixed bag of opinions driving you crazier, as on here.

Please again take the support. And leave the rest. In fact I would stop reading this thread. Isn’t it torture?

Lots of luck. Hugs.