Really nice but infuriating parents always cancelling wwyd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t make plans with them. Duh.

This. Also, I can’t imagine what qualities they have that would outweigh that kind of crap. They don’t sound “really nice” at all, they sound inconsiderate AF. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

OP - they were probably like this without kids. They probably flaked on plans and frustrated their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have some friends who we genuinely like as people. The problem is that they are ALWAYS capitulating to their child, so if the child does not want to do something, they break plans with us, sometimes without even telling us! There have been times we were supposed to meet for dinner and I will be parking at the restaurant and they say their child is having a meltdown and they tell us they are not coming. Kid is 4, I get it, kids melt down and I think they sometimes are over committing child to things they can’t handle. But it’s so annoying. Today we were supposed to meet up with them to do some hockey stuff. DH went to our storage unit first thing in the morning to get our kid’s gear...and they cancelled and didn’t even tell me until I was at the skating ring and texted “where are you guys?” The response was “we are at home. Larlo wanted to play with his magnatiles”. I was like wtf seriously? They are so afraid to tell their kid no to anything he’s not up for. Meanwhile my kid was also contentedly playing at home (not a given, but he was enjoying himself today) and I had to get him going. It’s infuriating but we do like them and when we are able to get together we enjoy it. I really wanted to tell them off today but I said nothing. Not worth it to say anything right? Not sure how to proceed with this relationship at this point.

wtf indeed OP! Maybe you didn't mention it but did these people even apologize? It sounds like you said, they cater to their child's desires. But what it looks like is that they have absolutely no respect or consideration for you, your child or your time. As your child gets older remember that you are modeling to him in how you allow people to treat you.

This is the first time they haven’t apologized- usually they “so sorry but...”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - they were probably like this without kids. They probably flaked on plans and frustrated their friends.

+1
Clueless & inconsiderate, now with kid as excuse.

[Anonymous]

If they gave one crap about you, they’d have told you when they decided to to go instead of just failing to show up. You can’t be friends with someone who has absolutely no consideration for you.

[Anonymous]

This sucks a) kids get hurt and don’t get it b) wasting precious time 3. extra stress nobody needs.

I could have written OPs post. DD has a friend whose mom is superficially nice but gets under my skin!! Mom who acts like a total space cadet, extremely exaggerated excuses, cancel at the last minute or not tell you when they cancel. If this were not kid related, type A me would have bolted at “hello”...

My 4 year old is in tears when this happens. So, we decided that we are done trying. They can play in a group setting but will not do 1 on 1 play dates. We will not initiate.

I also suspect the “under the skin” feeling is mutual. I just wish we both could put the kids aside and be like “this just isn’t going to work.”

[Anonymous]

They aren't good friend and stop making plans. Simple.

[Anonymous]

You should tell them off or never socialize again.

They are incredibly rude.

Even if their child had behavioral challenges, it’s still not acceptable for adults to behave in this way.

[Anonymous]

These people sound really rude. I would not make plans with them solo again. I would never initiate.

I have a friend who is chronically late, like 1+ hour late and not just 5-10 minutes. I always ask her to text me when she is on the way and I leave after she leaves. I have decided to drop her many times but I actually really do like her and our kids are good friends.

I once was late meeting a new person at a playground. I had to drive back home for something and then got stuck in some traffic. I was probably 40 min late. I’m not normally an unpunctual person. I knew she wrote me off for being late. We never met again. Ha kind of like a bad first date I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have some friends who we genuinely like as people. The problem is that they are ALWAYS capitulating to their child, so if the child does not want to do something, they break plans with us, sometimes without even telling us! There have been times we were supposed to meet for dinner and I will be parking at the restaurant and they say their child is having a meltdown and they tell us they are not coming. Kid is 4, I get it, kids melt down and I think they sometimes are over committing child to things they can’t handle. But it’s so annoying. Today we were supposed to meet up with them to do some hockey stuff. DH went to our storage unit first thing in the morning to get our kid’s gear...and they cancelled and didn’t even tell me until I was at the skating ring and texted “where are you guys?” The response was “we are at home. Larlo wanted to play with his magnatiles”. I was like wtf seriously? They are so afraid to tell their kid no to anything he’s not up for. Meanwhile my kid was also contentedly playing at home (not a given, but he was enjoying himself today) and I had to get him going. It’s infuriating but we do like them and when we are able to get together we enjoy it. I really wanted to tell them off today but I said nothing. Not worth it to say anything right? Not sure how to proceed with this relationship at this point.

wtf indeed OP! Maybe you didn't mention it but did these people even apologize? It sounds like you said, they cater to their child's desires. But what it looks like is that they have absolutely no respect or consideration for you, your child or your time. As your child gets older remember that you are modeling to him in how you allow people to treat you.

This is the first time they haven’t apologized- usually they “so sorry but...”

um are you sure you had firm plans? this is so odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have some friends who we genuinely like as people. The problem is that they are ALWAYS capitulating to their child, so if the child does not want to do something, they break plans with us, sometimes without even telling us! There have been times we were supposed to meet for dinner and I will be parking at the restaurant and they say their child is having a meltdown and they tell us they are not coming. Kid is 4, I get it, kids melt down and I think they sometimes are over committing child to things they can’t handle. But it’s so annoying. Today we were supposed to meet up with them to do some hockey stuff. DH went to our storage unit first thing in the morning to get our kid’s gear...and they cancelled and didn’t even tell me until I was at the skating ring and texted “where are you guys?” The response was “we are at home. Larlo wanted to play with his magnatiles”. I was like wtf seriously? They are so afraid to tell their kid no to anything he’s not up for. Meanwhile my kid was also contentedly playing at home (not a given, but he was enjoying himself today) and I had to get him going. It’s infuriating but we do like them and when we are able to get together we enjoy it. I really wanted to tell them off today but I said nothing. Not worth it to say anything right? Not sure how to proceed with this relationship at this point.

wtf indeed OP! Maybe you didn't mention it but did these people even apologize? It sounds like you said, they cater to their child's desires. But what it looks like is that they have absolutely no respect or consideration for you, your child or your time. As your child gets older remember that you are modeling to him in how you allow people to treat you.

This is the first time they haven’t apologized- usually they “so sorry but...”

um are you sure you had firm plans? this is so odd.

This has definitely been the most extreme case. I was completely stunned and had to rant somewhere so here I am. Typically they have canceled at least a little in advance - even if it when I am on the road on the way somewhere- and told me. This is just beyond. I was pretty excited to take DS so maybe they just figured I was going to go either way and it was nbd if they didn’t show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cease and desist from making plans with them.

+1 I would never make plans with them again unless they own up to how bad they’ve been and try to make plans with me. But they will probably have to grovel for me to accept.

[Anonymous]

Drop them like a bad habit.

[Anonymous]

No more plans with them. They’re very rude for last minute cancellation for no good reasons.

[Anonymous]

OP the only people I have known who had to cancel that much were people with special needs kids who really couldn't handle it and people who were having marital problems and ended up separating and getting divorced.

I would only do things with them in groups in the future, OP.