When you are a guest, do you ask before helping yourself to food/drink/alcohol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

Agree, but we always feed ours before they go to someone's house in case they are not offered food or don't like what offered.

[Anonymous]

Of course. My social circle does not tell people to help themselves.

[Anonymous]

With family? Of course not. My adult kids and their spouses have been here for a week. They know they can get whatever they want from the kitchen anytime. I would be embarrassed if they felt like they needed to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

Omg. This is horrible advice. I do not want to have to baby a tween or teen and ask them if they are hungry or thirsty. I want them to speak up. I cannot believe you are teaching your kids that they need to be waited on. Teach them to ask nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

Omg. This is horrible advice. I do not want to have to baby a tween or teen and ask them if they are hungry or thirsty. I want them to speak up. I cannot believe you are teaching your kids that they need to be waited on. Teach them to ask nicely.

She’s talking about play dates. Do you still organize play dates for your teenagers? Presumably, if your kids have a friend over, and your kid gets a snack, they’ll offer some to their guest. There’s no reason for you to hover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

If they are all running around outside and the parents are busy inside and they are thirsty can they ask for water? Would they feel guilty asking? The parents may be in a different room doing laundry when they come in. Curious to what you have taught them.

[Anonymous]

At my parents and in-laws, I help myself because that’s what we’re supposed to do there. Like others who have posted, for the rest I follow the host’s lead. For some friends they also want us to help ourselves. For others, I just have what’s been offered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Straw poll time. When you are a guest, do you ask your hosts first before helping yourself to food, beverages or alcohol?

What I'm not asking is, "Is it OK with you if guests help themselves without asking." What I am asking is, "Do YOU ask first?"

Of course! However, if it's family or very close friends, I tell them the kitchen is open and to help themselves. If I have food that I don't want eaten, I put in downstairs refrigerator and make sure they know this. Never had a problem.

[Anonymous]

I treat only my parents’ house as my own and even then I will
ask before taking the last of anything. I see my brother and his family only every 2 years or so, and I always ask. Same with other friends and relatives.

[Anonymous]

Like normal people, follow the lead of the hosts but with family make myself at home.

If im at family's houses I will ask before cooking a significant protein or something to make sure they didn't have plans for it that im messing up.

Basically pay attention to my environment and be courteous and make decisions accordingly.

[Anonymous]

This is a very context-specific question. OP, I think you know that most people wouldn't just help themselves in someone else's house... so what happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like others, depends on the relationship and if the host invites me to do so. I always tell my guests to feel free to help themselves to whatever or I wll be happy to get it for them. As a guest, I don’t ask for anything and I taught my kids not to ask for anything. You can accept what is offered, but you can’t ask. I don’t mean you cannot ask grandma for a glass of water, but I did not want them going over to friend’s houses for a play date and asking for a snack.

Same. Completely the same.

If they are all running around outside and the parents are busy inside and they are thirsty can they ask for water? Would they feel guilty asking? The parents may be in a different room doing laundry when they come in. Curious to what you have taught them.

I am "same."

I would prefer them to expire from thirst.

There. Is that the answer you're looking for??? Sigh. Not trying to start a war but snark deserves snark. FYI that I will not respond if you come back full-on. I just don't have time to waste with people like you.

[Anonymous]

Parents and in-laws, I help myself. Anywhere else, definitely ask. I can’t think of the last time I was a guest overnight anywhere. Not my style, I’ll take a hotel over bunking at someone’s house any day of the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a party? Like in what scenario?

When you are a house guest.

I never stay as a house guest overnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents and in-laws, I help myself. Anywhere else, definitely ask. I can’t think of the last time I was a guest overnight anywhere. Not my style, I’ll take a hotel over bunking at someone’s house any day of the week.

This