Help me explain this to my husband

[Anonymous]

I think you need to let go of him saying exactly what you want him to say. If he says "it's not a big deal if we're late, don't worry" but he always hustles along and gets places on time, then don't worry about his words. actions speak louder than words.

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a d**k with a screen addiction. Sorry, OP. Just start drinking around 10am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot to unpack here, but the solution for this particular event is that you get yourself ready in and head to hotel by yourself, uber, whatever.
DH and kids hang out on their own and get ready on their own, hire a babysitter for the day to keep kids supervised so you can have a fun, less stressful day.

really? her DH can't take care of their children for a few hours solo?

[Anonymous]

You sound like my DH who is obsessed with being on time, but to him on time actually means early. I can't stand being the first ones to arrive to parties and things like that and I try to explain to him that the hosts don't want you there at 6:25 if the start time is 6:30, but his own anxiety about being late is too strong for him to understand. Last night we got to a party at 6:40 that had a start time of 6:30 because I couldn't find my phone and was looking for it before we left and DH was SOOO pissed off about it. The hosts actually joked that we weren't the first to arrive and they were shocked. Anyway, it's something for you to work on because it's a really difficult trait to live with when your partner doesn't feel that same anxiety about being everywhere on time (early).

That being said, for this situation why do you have to go back to the hotel to get the kids ready? He can bring them to the venue and you can do any final touches you need to do. Tell him exactly what time to leave the hotel to get to the venue (and move it back by 5 minutes if you really think it will be an issue). But it sounds like you're a micromanager and there is some learned helplessness there on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You won’t “let” him bring his VR headset? Start treating him like an adult and maybe he’ll stop trying to annoy you.

Lol, how would he watch the kids if he has a vr headset strapped to his face? I cannot fathom why he'd even suggest bringing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You won’t “let” him bring his VR headset? Start treating him like an adult and maybe he’ll stop trying to annoy you.

The real question is why in hell he thinks putting on a VR headset and ignoring his kids is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Husband sounds like a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband sounds like a child.

The real solution is to get a divorce before your sister’s wedding. Then your DH can play with his VR headset all the time!

[Anonymous]

You're micromanaging him. You won't "let" him bring the VR headset? You're planning the kids day while he's watching them. Just tell him he needs to watch teh kids for this time period, give him a list of some options (go to the nearby park, etc) and let him handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband sounds like a child.

Wife sounds neurotic.

[Anonymous]

Weddings can introduce unnecessary stress. Has anyone ever been to a wedding that started on time? They are always running late anyway.

[Anonymous]

Get a sitter for your husband. He sounds like a child.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m rolling my eyes just reading your post. All I can say is that you have more patience than I do. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weddings can introduce unnecessary stress. Has anyone ever been to a wedding that started on time? They are always running late anyway.

Every wedding I’ve ever been to has started on time. I don’t know where this notion that weddings always start late comes from, but it’s never been my experience. I’ve gone to dozens of weddings (mostly on the east and west coast, one in the Midwest and one in France) they all started on time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband sounds like a child.

Wife sounds neurotic.

I concur, (I wrote the line above), but I’d rather deal with someone who wants their act together than a loser grown man who plays with a VR headset. He can play along to help his wife get there early. I’d be like hey let’s just get there super early!

These mismatched marriages are wasted on the wrong people! Cosmic justice.