Miserable Christmas. I want to return my gifts

[Anonymous]

Please stop coming here to sulk about how sad and mistreated you are. If you were so in love with your victim narrative maybe you would actually get the divorce you so clearly need. You hate your wife, you hate your kid and you hate being married. If you truly believe that they are ruining your life, stop b!tching about it on the internet and make a change!

[Anonymous]

Is this the same guy who has been posting since his daughter was somewhere around 12-14 years old?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the same guy who has been posting since his daughter was somewhere around 12-14 years old?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been a miserable and stressful Christmas. I am struggling with a lot of job and financial issues, and my DW is absolutely unsupportive. I feel neither she nor my daughter have any gratitude. DW complains endlessly about housework and daughter, whose college I am paying for, backs her up with some feminist claptrap about women “having to do everything” and then gets upset when I get grouch about it.

Here’s an example. Rather than seeing I was in the midst of cleaning up the kitchen after Christmas dinner, DW is asking me to help her clean up all the Christmas boxes. Daughter likes on and asks why can’t I help her, I tell her can’t she see I’m busy duty something else, to which she is now breaking down crying about how I disrespect her and don’t listen to her and just get mad when she gives me facts from papers she is reading.

I actually feel like giving all my presents back. My daughter gave me a beautiful sweatshirt and DW is saying it was expensive and maybe I should offer to daughter that she can return it and buy something for herself, and that she and daughter already agreed to this. Honestly, I don’t care about the sweatshirt. But I’m angry. I basically bought two presents for DW - counting the money I gave to daughter to buy a present for her Mom ($140) - and when I asked DW last night in the heat of yet another bitch session whether she likes the present I bought her, she threw it back at me.

I don’t feel anything was given to me in a spirit of generosity, but in the expectation that they would receive something in kind. I don’t want my presents anymore.

You sound and come off like a woman. Not that a man cannot complain about his marriage and kids. Your complaints though come off sounding like what you would hear from a woman

[Anonymous]

How many men whine about wanting to return gifts? This is so dumb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop coming here to sulk about how sad and mistreated you are. If you were so in love with your victim narrative maybe you would actually get the divorce you so clearly need. You hate your wife, you hate your kid and you hate being married. If you truly believe that they are ruining your life, stop b!tching about it on the internet and make a change!

Should say if you were NOT so in love with your victim narrative then you would get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Next time say, "Sure, you finish cleaning the kitchen and I'll go pick up the boxes in the living room."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a miserable and stressful Christmas. I am struggling with a lot of job and financial issues, and my DW is absolutely unsupportive. I feel neither she nor my daughter have any gratitude. DW complains endlessly about housework and daughter, whose college I am paying for, backs her up with some feminist claptrap about women “having to do everything” and then gets upset when I get grouch about it.

Here’s an example. Rather than seeing I was in the midst of cleaning up the kitchen after Christmas dinner, DW is asking me to help her clean up all the Christmas boxes. Daughter likes on and asks why can’t I help her, I tell her can’t she see I’m busy duty something else, to which she is now breaking down crying about how I disrespect her and don’t listen to her and just get mad when she gives me facts from papers she is reading.

I actually feel like giving all my presents back. My daughter gave me a beautiful sweatshirt and DW is saying it was expensive and maybe I should offer to daughter that she can return it and buy something for herself, and that she and daughter already agreed to this. Honestly, I don’t care about the sweatshirt. But I’m angry. I basically bought two presents for DW - counting the money I gave to daughter to buy a present for her Mom ($140) - and when I asked DW last night in the heat of yet another bitch session whether she likes the present I bought her, she threw it back at me.

I don’t feel anything was given to me in a spirit of generosity, but in the expectation that they would receive something in kind. I don’t want my presents anymore.

You sound and come off like a woman. Not that a man cannot complain about his marriage and kids. Your complaints though come off sounding like what you would hear from a woman

So???? I'm not OP but it's almost 2020 -- can't men (and women) have their own feelings even if they are not stereotypical for the gender? How backwards a complaint is this in this day and age? "You sound like a woman." Really PP?

[Anonymous]

Christmas isn't really about gifts anyway. Maybe if you are under 10.

[Anonymous]

OP- You need to go visit someone for a few days- let them stew on their own and realize what it would be like without you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn’t real guys.

I think it is real. This OP posts a lot about his wife and daughter.

Yeah, all know him. Wife is a SAHM to one grown daughter. He keeps saying he’s leaving but never does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since the antagonist in the story is female, then this is DCUM so it's not her fault.

If the roles were reversed, DCUM would be advising to meet with a divorce lawyer immediately and so on.

If you're a man and this isn't a troll post, consider it. Men at your age do much better on the dating market than women, especially one with a decent job and experience raising kids.

Literally the first comment advises divorce

He should divorce.

Otherwise, he’s coming across as a troll. Some MRA guys secretly fantasize about femdom. Especially financial exploitation and humiliation. This sounds like notes for a bad novel in the genre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been a miserable and stressful Christmas. I am struggling with a lot of job and financial issues, and my DW is absolutely unsupportive. I feel neither she nor my daughter have any gratitude. DW complains endlessly about housework and daughter, whose college I am paying for, backs her up with some feminist claptrap about women “having to do everything” and then gets upset when I get grouch about it.

Here’s an example. Rather than seeing I was in the midst of cleaning up the kitchen after Christmas dinner, DW is asking me to help her clean up all the Christmas boxes. Daughter likes on and asks why can’t I help her, I tell her can’t she see I’m busy duty something else, to which she is now breaking down crying about how I disrespect her and don’t listen to her and just get mad when she gives me facts from papers she is reading.

I actually feel like giving all my presents back. My daughter gave me a beautiful sweatshirt and DW is saying it was expensive and maybe I should offer to daughter that she can return it and buy something for herself, and that she and daughter already agreed to this. Honestly, I don’t care about the sweatshirt. But I’m angry. I basically bought two presents for DW - counting the money I gave to daughter to buy a present for her Mom ($140) - and when I asked DW last night in the heat of yet another bitch session whether she likes the present I bought her, she threw it back at me.

I don’t feel anything was given to me in a spirit of generosity, but in the expectation that they would receive something in kind. I don’t want my presents anymore.

You sound and come off like a woman. Not that a man cannot complain about his marriage and kids. Your complaints though come off sounding like what you would hear from a woman

So???? I'm not OP but it's almost 2020 -- can't men (and women) have their own feelings even if they are not stereotypical for the gender? How backwards a complaint is this in this day and age? "You sound like a woman." Really PP?

I stated he is free to have complaints all he wants. He does come across like a little b*tch by wanting to return gifts and go cry in the corner somewhere.

If I had similar complaints as the OP, my wife would think the same thing of me coming off like a whiner.

[Anonymous]

Clearer communication would be a good start. If you are doing dishes or cleaning up another room, don’t be weird and cryptic. “Will be there in five. Just wiping down the counter and then can help you.” This gives everyone an idea of what you are doing, when you will be there, and that you understand they could use your help. Answering vaguely “can’t come. Busy” leaves lots of room for them to fill in the narrative (you are lazy, don’t want to help, must be reading DCUM) when you are cleaning.

I don’t understand the daughter thing. She bought you something expensive that you like but don’t really care about and now she wants to return it and buy something for herself. And you have her money to buy presents so really you bought it anyway? Is that the issue?

Finally while your wife might be a sucky and ungrateful person (not sure but she could) you are 50% responsible if your daughter is. You teach that with every interaction. You interrupt and ask to redo when she is not grateful (should have fixed this issue at 5 FYI). But start now. Talk to her like a person. Explain the impact it has on you.

Finally show some interest in her passions - rather than calling them stuff she learned in an essay she read

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a woman married to DW? I don't hear a man's voice ("beautiful sweater") in this post. Maybe try again.

OP is absolutely a woman. Agree on "beautiful sweater" - can't imagine a man saying that!