DH won’t dry off in the bathroom (wet carpet)

[Anonymous]

It drives me crazy but not because my feet get wet but then dirt gets trapped in the water part and makes our carpet look grungy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH gets so frustrated with me over a similar issue - that I get the mat wet while drying off after a shower (in the bathroom). I guess he thinks I should dry off IN the shower?

Ideally, yes. Get most of the water off IN the shower. Towel down on the mat. Only then should you leave the bathroom to go elsewhere.

but how can you feel at all dry when you're still in the damp freezing shower? And won't your wet feet still make prints on the mat? What am I missing, LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him some nice terry cloth towel slippers for when he steps out of the shower.

The water will dry. He isn’t going to start wiping down dry now after making it this long in life otherwise.

This would be a good solution but it’s not just his feet that are wet. His whole body is dripping water. I guess I could wear the slippers to avoid my feet/socks getting wet but it just seems like one of those things that is so easy to avoid by just drying off in the bathroom. It’s not like it saves him time to dry off outside of the bathroom rather than in the bathroom.

He told me that me leaving dishes in the sink to soak rather than washing them off and putting them right into the dishwasher annoyed him so I stopped doing it. It took a little time to make the adjustment but I did it. This is more of a pattern for him—he decides it’s just my issue so he shouldn’t have to change to accommodate. He does the same thing with his snoring. He refuses to go to a doctor or try an over the counter remedy or go to another room. He says the snoring doesn’t bother him so if it bothers me I should sleep in another room or wear ear plugs. So even though this is about a wet carpet it’s not really just about a wet carpet. -OP

What a dick. I'd have no patience for this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH gets so frustrated with me over a similar issue - that I get the mat wet while drying off after a shower (in the bathroom). I guess he thinks I should dry off IN the shower?

Ideally, yes. Get most of the water off IN the shower. Towel down on the mat. Only then should you leave the bathroom to go elsewhere.

but how can you feel at all dry when you're still in the damp freezing shower? And won't your wet feet still make prints on the mat? What am I missing, LOL

It's not freezing, it's still warm because the bathroom is still warm with the door closed.
Instructions: Dry off body while standing in tub, leaving only wet feet. Life one foot, place on edge of tub, dry it off and place it outside the tub. Lift the remaining foot that is in the tub onto the edge of the tub, dry it off, and place it next to the foot on the outside of the tub. Now you are dry and there is no water anywhere. I have taught this to my boys from their first showers and I expect my future DIL to be appreciative!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him some nice terry cloth towel slippers for when he steps out of the shower.

The water will dry. He isn’t going to start wiping down dry now after making it this long in life otherwise.

This would be a good solution but it’s not just his feet that are wet. His whole body is dripping water. I guess I could wear the slippers to avoid my feet/socks getting wet but it just seems like one of those things that is so easy to avoid by just drying off in the bathroom. It’s not like it saves him time to dry off outside of the bathroom rather than in the bathroom.

He told me that me leaving dishes in the sink to soak rather than washing them off and putting them right into the dishwasher annoyed him so I stopped doing it. It took a little time to make the adjustment but I did it. This is more of a pattern for him—he decides it’s just my issue so he shouldn’t have to change to accommodate. He does the same thing with his snoring. He refuses to go to a doctor or try an over the counter remedy or go to another room. He says the snoring doesn’t bother him so if it bothers me I should sleep in another room or wear ear plugs. So even though this is about a wet carpet it’s not really just about a wet carpet. -OP

What a dick. I'd have no patience for this nonsense.

Total dick. Tell him that in light of his principled refusal to make tiny changes to his habits even though he knows they bother you, you are going to go back to letting dishes soak in the sink.

Or don't, because then you'd be as much of a dick as he is, but I'd be tempted.

[Anonymous]

My daughter does this too, and it drives me nuts. But she's 11, and I feel like if I keep yelling about it, she'll eventually cut that sh*t out.

[Anonymous]

For this issue - you need to put your shoes and socks on at the same time. So, you're either barefoot or you're wearing shoes in the morning, no stepping on wet carpet, problem solved.

The broader issue - that he never adjusts things for you, it's always you adjusting for him - THAT requires more digging. The snoring, for example. That's a hill I would die on. Changing your shoe/sock habits might be a good opener here for you. "I've changed things for you, like my dish habits. You've been unwilling to changing things for me, like your shower habits, so I changed to adjust around it. It feels like I'm giving a lot in this marriage, and you're not, and that doesn't strike me as fair. The snoring is a great example - this is a problem that you need to solve, and it could be effecting your health so you need to see a doctor. Are you willing to do that for me?" Then listen to what he says.

[Anonymous]

I hate this!! I had a boyfriend who used to do this and it drove me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably rotting the subfloor underneath the carpet. Google that and send it to him. I’m sure there’s stuff on the Internet about how you’re not supposed to walk around wet because it hurts your floors. I agree maybe the slippers will help. That’s very irresponsible thing of him to do from a home maintenance perspective

There’s no way some shower wet footsteps are rotting the subfloor.

Yep, they can. I know because we took up the carpet in our house and underneath were stains on the wood that were the paths the previous owner clearly took from the bathroom to his bedroom.

[Anonymous]

For a little perspective, I wish this was the problem that I had in my marriage! I wish I wish! If only it were wet footprints on the carpet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH gets so frustrated with me over a similar issue - that I get the mat wet while drying off after a shower (in the bathroom). I guess he thinks I should dry off IN the shower?

I generally dry off in the shower and get about 80-90% of the water off me and then I step on a bath mat. By the time I get to my closet what’s left is minimal. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

I agree.....

This goes deeper than just wet carpet.

It’s rude of him to not comply w/your logical requests yet he complained about your dishes soaking & you made the change for HIM.

Fair is fair.
In love.
He seems like he is not doing his fair share.

No, the world does certainly not revolve around him + what he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him some nice terry cloth towel slippers for when he steps out of the shower.

The water will dry. He isn’t going to start wiping down dry now after making it this long in life otherwise.

This would be a good solution but it’s not just his feet that are wet. His whole body is dripping water. I guess I could wear the slippers to avoid my feet/socks getting wet but it just seems like one of those things that is so easy to avoid by just drying off in the bathroom. It’s not like it saves him time to dry off outside of the bathroom rather than in the bathroom.

He told me that me leaving dishes in the sink to soak rather than washing them off and putting them right into the dishwasher annoyed him so I stopped doing it. It took a little time to make the adjustment but I did it. This is more of a pattern for him—he decides it’s just my issue so he shouldn’t have to change to accommodate. He does the same thing with his snoring. He refuses to go to a doctor or try an over the counter remedy or go to another room. He says the snoring doesn’t bother him so if it bothers me I should sleep in another room or wear ear plugs. So even though this is about a wet carpet it’s not really just about a wet carpet. -OP

So he’s rigid and controlling. Do you guys have kids? If not (but if you’re planning to), I would try to work through this behavior with him in marriage counseling before having kids. This kind of behavior will get worse rather than better otherwise, and can escalate into abuse, especially once children are in the picture (since they are more unpredictable and he will have a harder time controlling a baby’s behavior, routines, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH gets so frustrated with me over a similar issue - that I get the mat wet while drying off after a shower (in the bathroom). I guess he thinks I should dry off IN the shower?

Ideally, yes. Get most of the water off IN the shower. Towel down on the mat. Only then should you leave the bathroom to go elsewhere.

but how can you feel at all dry when you're still in the damp freezing shower? And won't your wet feet still make prints on the mat? What am I missing, LOL

It's not freezing, it's still warm because the bathroom is still warm with the door closed.
Instructions: Dry off body while standing in tub, leaving only wet feet. Life one foot, place on edge of tub, dry it off and place it outside the tub. Lift the remaining foot that is in the tub onto the edge of the tub, dry it off, and place it next to the foot on the outside of the tub. Now you are dry and there is no water anywhere. I have taught this to my boys from their first showers and I expect my future DIL to be appreciative!

Pp here - I see what you’re saying except for our shower is separate from the tub. Just a glass door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH gets so frustrated with me over a similar issue - that I get the mat wet while drying off after a shower (in the bathroom). I guess he thinks I should dry off IN the shower?

Ideally, yes. Get most of the water off IN the shower. Towel down on the mat. Only then should you leave the bathroom to go elsewhere.

but how can you feel at all dry when you're still in the damp freezing shower? And won't your wet feet still make prints on the mat? What am I missing, LOL

It's not freezing, it's still warm because the bathroom is still warm with the door closed.
Instructions: Dry off body while standing in tub, leaving only wet feet. Life one foot, place on edge of tub, dry it off and place it outside the tub. Lift the remaining foot that is in the tub onto the edge of the tub, dry it off, and place it next to the foot on the outside of the tub. Now you are dry and there is no water anywhere. I have taught this to my boys from their first showers and I expect my future DIL to be appreciative!

Pp here - I see what you’re saying except for our shower is separate from the tub. Just a glass door.

If you have any common sense at all, you should be able to figure out how to dry off in a shower without internet assistance.