Why the insistence on 24/7 togetherness during visits?
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Anonymous
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My parents do this with my son when they visit. 100% in his face, oohing and aahing over everything he says. He’s learned that I’m ok with it if he takes a break in his room. He’s extroverted but even for him it’s exhausting to be the center of attention every waking minute.
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Anonymous
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I was dreading hosting two different sets of visitors this holiday -- but thankfully both were completely comfortable going to their little corners after each meal for a few hours. I actually looked forward to the next gathering because I got a couple of hours of respite beforehand.
Why everyone doesn't recognize the importance of solitude.... |
Anonymous
| This is why we stay at a hotel at the ILs. MIL literally, actually is underfoot when we stay there. She follows us from room to room. |
Anonymous
Why do you say that? |
Anonymous
Especially when it's not true...my family is like this during visits, and I'm from Maine. |
Anonymous
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Give em a ten year window tops.
After a decade damnit we’re family not just by law but by familiarity. After a decade was up I had no problem saying... “I need to get away from y’all for a while, excuse me while I go walk the dog then come back and take a shit my damn self then pour a drink and plop down on the couch downstairs and watch SportsCenter. Call me when dinner’s ready.” |
Anonymous
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My parents are like this. I am an only child, so they are used to being together as the 3 of us all the time.
My husband has siblings so his family splits up to do different things in small groups - but also no one can ever be alone. If you try to go for a run or grab something from the grocery store, it is rude not to ask if someone wants to join you. Thankfully they also have a tradition on visits and vacation they call “library time” where people retreat to read books, go for a walk or do a quiet activity after lunch for a few hours until it’s time to get ready for dinner. This is amazing since it coordinates with kid nap time. |
Anonymous
^^^ Exactly! LOL! What's with all the drama and hand-wringing? All it takes is one time of saying, "I was taking a crap" and I'll bet they'll stop asking where you are! |
Anonymous
Probably because of the stereotype of a chatty Midwesterner vs. cold, snobby East Coast WASP. While my Midwestern parents are worse about this, my NJ inlaws have their own quirks. |
Anonymous
No. I remember being a child and spending time reading in the bathroom to have alone time. As an adult I realize I’ve always been an introvert and was looking for quiet during loud family holidays. I vividly remember my aunt saying “thank you for visiting my bathroom.” |
Anonymous
This made me laugh. As a kid, I would get a book and go to a corner to read. My uncle was the one barricaded in the bathroom. Tough beans for anyone who actually had to go. |
Anonymous
Well, aren't stereotypes dumb? My NJ ILs are the hoverers/togetherness-pushers, and my Indiana parents are big on quiet time and doing whatever you want during down time. |
Anonymous
Same situation with my MIL and SIL and MIL lives in Boston and SIL lives in NYC. |
Anonymous
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I'm so glad our families are local. Thanksgiving is a 4 hour tops event with everyone. We stay at my ore ya overnight since we have little kids but come after lunch and kids nap there and we help or nap.
Leave the next morning after breakfast and have the weekend to ourselves unless my sil is in town and then she comes to visit us and the kids for a couple hours. |
Anonymous
OK? |