staying in touch while kid is in college

[Anonymous]

I have two in college. I text almost every day just to say hi or share something small - photo of the dog, DC sports stuff etc.

I chat with my daughter frequently on the phone, but if she is busy it is less often. This is mostly at her initiation. She is older than my son.

My son I do not have calls with as frequently but if we need to talk about something will plan a time to call.

If either of the kids calls me, I am usually available or call right back as soon as I can. The kids snapchat with their siblings who are still at home.

[Anonymous]

I tend to let the kids themselves dictate how often we're in touch. It's different for each of them.

For my DD, we talk rather frequently. She calls once or twice a week, usually while walking home from somewhere, just to chat. We text back and forth (saying hi, checking in, pictures of pets, etc.) pretty much every day. She's always been more talkative, and we have a close relationship.

For my DS, we don't talk that frequently. We text a couple times a week, just checking in, but calls usually don't happen unless there's an important matter to discuss. He's a very independent type, so this is about what I expected when he left for college.

If I don't hear from either of them in a while, I will send a quick text to check in. Regardless, I have adjusted my "expectations" of communication based off each of their personalities and communication habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine hasn't been able to talk for two weeks. I am worried and sad.

I'm sorry. I know how painful it is when they are far and you want to hug them.

I can say that what you are experiencing was normal for me when I was in college, and it wasn't because I was struggling. I try to remember that when I think about my own kid (who only calls when things are rough).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you do it?

One child calls every.single.day on his way to a meal. Will graduate next month. Doesn’t call as much when he is working.
Second child only calls when he needs something. I am allowed to text a “are you alive” text every few days, if I have not heard from him.

We Facetime with each about every other week.

[Anonymous]

Text most days (random photos, comments, check ins, requests etc...nothing too substantial usually) on family group chat; skype once a week--time/day flexible but usually on weekend.

[Anonymous]

I have two who have gone off to college. We had a twice-a-week policy. Family FaceTime on Sunday nights, and each had to call/Facetime on Wednesday. One boy and one girl.

Sometimes the girl would text to say she wouldn't be able to connect on a Wednesday. A couple of times she would call with a group of friends and I'd talk with all of them. We sent care packages once every month or two, or when they got sick, plus for finals week and midterm week.

[Anonymous]

A photo a week. It makes for interesting feedback. Sometimes none, sometimes text/emails/phone convo that are super informative. Also, it makes for an awesome photobook at graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A photo a week. It makes for interesting feedback. Sometimes none, sometimes text/emails/phone convo that are super informative. Also, it makes for an awesome photobook at graduation.

This is a great idea!

[Anonymous]

With my two sons, we developed a habit of a just saying hi, no-nag call - either phone or Facetime - at least once a week, usually on Sunday afternoon or evening. Then if the weekend got too busy, either parent or child would arrange for a Monday/Tuesday call. The no-nag part is important. From time to time during the week we'd also do group/family texts.

If you want to hear from them more immediately, change the family Netflix password.

[Anonymous]

I really need help with the "no nag" part.

Though I understand that if I don't work on that, the frequency will decline.

(Mea culpa)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really need help with the "no nag" part.

Though I understand that if I don't work on that, the frequency will decline.

(Mea culpa)

What do you nag about exactly?

The only thing I nag/pester DS about is taking his medicine or asking if he needs a refill.

[Anonymous]

My freshman DD is "too busy" most of the time. I'm happy that she isn't home sick but miss her. I'm going to set expectations when she is home to have at least one call a week.

[Anonymous]

We have a once a week phonecall (Mom, Dad, kid) - about 30 minutes on the weekend. I text every day or two, but don’t ask questions or nag (I send pet photos or interesting things I see around town). He probably responds about 75% of the time. He calls about once a week in addition to the weekend call to ask some very specific question (e.g., should I get my flu shot at the health center or wait until I get home).

[Anonymous]

I nag about things like: get enough sleep, eat well, take breaks/strive for balance. She is a hard worker and I never had to nag her about doing her school work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine hasn't been able to talk for two weeks. I am worried and sad.

If mine did that, I'd text saying you have 3 days to call or text me you are ok or I'm shutting off the phone assuming you don't need it if you cannot your mom/dad on it.