If you RSVP to a kids party and don’t show up...

[Anonymous]

An hour before your party one of my kids fell and hit his head on concrete and the other kid broke a bone in her foot, while the baby had rotavirus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sucks, that’s why.

What’s with all the She stuff. Where dad in this? Doesnt he read his emails or calendars?

[Anonymous]

I've been really sick the past two days, and OP has me panicking and scrolling through hundreds of texts and emails to see what I screwed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a stickler about RSVPing and showing up to what I said I would.

The only time I skipped out on a child's birthday party was when my child (then around 4-5) had a massive meltdown and we could not calm her for over an hour (she is a bit on the spectrum). The party had already started. So, we did not go. I emailed the mother, but I did not know the her at all so did not divulge the truth. So I just said sorry we couldn't make it. She didn't write back, which I understand.

We were never invited again, which I also understand. Maybe I could have handled it better in hindsight, but I was frazzled and was doing the best I could at that time. Years later, I still feel bad about missing that party and how it probably made the mother and her child feel.

This. My DS is exactly this way. I am a huge extrovert, and it is important to me to do our best to RSVP and attend birthdays we are invited to. I had to skip one at the last minute because my DS was melting down as I was trying to get him out of the house. We no longer really attend birthdays (I've given up), but I felt horrible.

[Anonymous]

I usually have a few cancel or no show.

I wrote one person off and found out later parents were going through a divorce.
I have had parents mix up the date or time. This happens less now with evites. I used to do paper invitations and had more no shows back then.

Some people just don’t have their shit together.

[Anonymous]

I’ve forgotten about three times.

[Anonymous]

I have forgotten. I don’t have my shit together.

I also have never noticed if I have been +/- 1-2 kids either, so part of it is also that I don’t appreciate what a big deal it is to someone who DOES have their shit together.

Thank you for posting this. I will be more cognizant of at least sending a text message if I can’t make it or forgot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have forgotten. I don’t have my shit together.

I also have never noticed if I have been +/- 1-2 kids either, so part of it is also that I don’t appreciate what a big deal it is to someone who DOES have their shit together.

Thank you for posting this. I will be more cognizant of at least sending a text message if I can’t make it or forgot.

We have big parties so I wouldn't have a clue who came or didn't come because I don't know all the kids. I couldn't even remember who we invited.

But, OP doesn't want to go. This isn't about illness as child sounds fine.

[Anonymous]

How do people forget? Don’t you have a phone calendar? Set alerts if you’re that disorganized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do people forget? Don’t you have a phone calendar? Set alerts if you’re that disorganized.

I’ve added it to the calendar for the wrong day.
Also, evite mixed up the time zone once and I showed up 2 hours late - as the party was ending.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably consider that they were having some kind of problem and wish them well. The most likely problems (sick child, misbehaving child, lice, etc.), I'd much rather them not come to the party. We could always socialize with them at a later time when it would be much more enjoyable for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do people forget? Don’t you have a phone calendar? Set alerts if you’re that disorganized.

I’ve added it to the calendar for the wrong day.
Also, evite mixed up the time zone once and I showed up 2 hours late - as the party was ending.

But everyone else showed up on time? Or everyone was 2 hours late?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a stickler about RSVPing and showing up to what I said I would.

The only time I skipped out on a child's birthday party was when my child (then around 4-5) had a massive meltdown and we could not calm her for over an hour (she is a bit on the spectrum). The party had already started. So, we did not go. I emailed the mother, but I did not know the her at all so did not divulge the truth. So I just said sorry we couldn't make it. She didn't write back, which I understand.

We were never invited again, which I also understand. Maybe I could have handled it better in hindsight, but I was frazzled and was doing the best I could at that time. Years later, I still feel bad about missing that party and how it probably made the mother and her child feel.

This. My DS is exactly this way. I am a huge extrovert, and it is important to me to do our best to RSVP and attend birthdays we are invited to. I had to skip one at the last minute because my DS was melting down as I was trying to get him out of the house. We no longer really attend birthdays (I've given up), but I felt horrible.

I would have told her the truth. As a mom, I would completely understood a major meltdown. With no explanation, I would think you just blew it off or got a better offer.

[Anonymous]

I've been through enough in my own life that my first instinct is to give them the benefit of the doubt. I would send a genuine text to make sure they are OK. Shit happens. Sure there are flakes and rude people, but usually it's just we are all so overwhelmed juggling and then someone gets sick, falls, loses it or whatever and everything goes to heck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been through enough in my own life that my first instinct is to give them the benefit of the doubt. I would send a genuine text to make sure they are OK. Shit happens. Sure there are flakes and rude people, but usually it's just we are all so overwhelmed juggling and then someone gets sick, falls, loses it or whatever and everything goes to heck.

I don’t think OP should send a text or reach out. It’s up to the parent of the kid who missed the party (after rsvping yes) to send a text or email apologizing.