Babysitting siblings - how old/how long?
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Anonymous
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I think it's fine. My 14 year old babysits for my younger 3 (although I feel like the 11 year old is caring for himself and the 9 year olds are being babysat). If it's half an hour while I drop someone somewhere I don't usually pay her...or I pay her a little after doing that a bunch of times.
For a real lengthy job I treat her like a babysitter. I ask if she's available and pay her. Probably a little less than a normal sitter (more in the $9 an hour range...I pay more like $12 an hour for my 17 year old babysitter), but I still treat it like a job for her. She can say no if she can't do it. |
Anonymous
It’s fine occasionally. OP didn’t say she was doing this every Sat night. It would be wrong if she forced her oldest to miss a very important event or stay home every weekend to watch siblings but nothing wrong with it every now and then. We go out to dinner or out with other couples sometimes and leave ours together. |
Anonymous
| ^ and we do not pay DS. That would change the entire dynamic and be terrible. We have always told the kids they are simply staying home together. Of course he is the older more responsible one. You need to know what works for your children. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
+1 Just another family/chore obligation. It shouldn't be the default for every event or weekend, but totally fine to do it. |
Anonymous
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I think 13 is too young to supervise three other children especially fairly close in age like this. One, maybe two if it's a short window of time, would be my personal limit.
I'd be ok with this scenario around age 14/15. |
Anonymous
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Only the 13 year old is in charge.
It would be a messed up dynamic to have an 11 year old in charge of a 9 year old. I would pay the 13 year old a real rate - maybe $8/hour and everybody else gets $5/each if they behave. |
Anonymous
NP. My, my, aren't you sanctimonious? Family responsibilities is one thing -- however, turning your kid into hired help, just so you can hit the town is quite another. It creates RESENTMENT. Look it up, there have been a million studies on th subject matter. If you're asking them to babysit once a month, it's fine -- if it's every single weekend, you're definitely going to fuel resentment from your older kids to the younger ones & it will change the familial dynamic & their relationship with each other going forward. Don't do this. Nobody says the older ones need to have a babysitter too, the sitter can watch the younger ones & the older ones can go about their day. You'd only be paying the sitter for 2 kids, yet she could keep a distant eye on the entire household. That's one way to save money, not bribe your older kids to do what you should be paying someone else to do. If you're not going to be honest with us, at least be honest with yourself -- you're doing it because you don't want to pay a sitter as much as it would cost & you don't want to deal with the hassle of making a bunch of phone calls just to find a sitter. Please don't insult our intelligence and tell us that you're paying your kid between $15 - $20 an hour (which is the going rate for watching 2 kids). Also, be prepared for push back when you try to tell your your oldest what they can and cannot do in the future. If you felt they were responsible enough to watch 2 younger siblings, you can't tell them that they're not responsible enough to do other things. That would be hypocritical of you. Read the below article OP. It's interesting how the author of the article uses the word "bossy" to describe one of the reasons that older siblings get trapped into the role of babysitter... funny, isn't that the word you used to describe your oldest? https://www.workingdaughter.com/the-truth-about-siblings-and-caregiving/ |
Anonymous
| Have your 13 yr old take a babysitting class where he gets red cross certified for babysitting and CPR before putting this responsibility on him. You will feel better about it going for 2-3 hours then. And he will have training to fall back on. |
Anonymous
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Wow 10:31, you kind of went off the deep end and now the 13yr old is caring for elderly parents and needing to avoid four traps of caregiving?
It’s, um, just a couple of hours on a random Friday night, not a 196 item task list! (By the way, the author of that article seems like a control freak - I would know, because I am one too.) |
Anonymous
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I think it is perfectly fine. I wouldn't call it babysitting. Just that you two are going out and the 13 year old has final say. If any of the younger kids are concerned about the 13 year olds decisions, they can call you.
Lay out the expectations for all of them in terms of bedtime routine, permitted activities. They are each responsible for themselves but if 13 year old sees something, he gets the final say. |
Anonymous
| I think that's a little young, especially with 4 kids. There's just a higher chance something will go wrong. |
Anonymous
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13 seems fine. At 10 I started babysitting my 1 year old sister for short outings and grocery trips. My sister hated going and I was very responsible. My parents were protective and not latch key. At 12 I babysat for dinners out and could put her to bed. At 13 I started babysitting other kids. No issues and I always felt like I had it under control.
My parents told me what to do in case of emergency and that neighbors would help. I tell my babysitters the same now. |
Anonymous
You’re high if you think $8/hr is a real rate for babysitting 3 kids. |