Babysitting siblings - how old/how long?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We have four kids: two boys ages 13 and 11, two girls ages 9 and 7. We're trying to figure out our comfort level with having the boys (collectively or individually) babysit the girls, particularly in the evening. Right now, we're comfortable with leaving the 13yr old to watch the 9 and 7 yr old (either with or without the 11yr old) if it's an hour or two during the day time and we're relatively nearby (as in 15-20 minutes away).
We're thinking about "working up" to having the 13yr old (probably along with the 11yr old) watch the younger siblings while parents go out in the evening together. For example - Saturday evening date night, which in all likelihood will be within 10-15 minutes of home, but might be long enough for dinner, or a movie, or dinner and a movie. We live in a pretty safe community with nearby neighbors we trust. At what age would you feel comfortable with the older sibling(s) being the babysitter in this scenario? We haven't talked a lot about leaving the younger kids with older kids if we're a greater distance away (like 30-40 minutes) for a longer period of time (a few hours), but I'm trying to get my head around when is the right time for that as well. 13yr old is a good kid, can be bossy and can get distracted and forget about things like brushing teeth, but is ok on safety. 11 yr old is super responsible and VERY safety/rule conscious. 9 and 7 yr old kids are pretty well behaved and wouldn't actually do much to truly rock the boat, and at most would just annoy their brothers. |
Anonymous
| have a 9 and 7 year old and would leave them with wither of their two 14 year old cousins for an (earlyish) evening out, but the cousin dynamic is a bit different than that of siblings. It depends on how much with younger ones would respect the authority of the older ones. I mean, I cannot imagine the 9 year old would respect the authority of the 11 year old at only 2 years apart, right? Ad then if you are paying the older two, is the 9 year old going to feel cheated. I almost feel like you would be better off if you just had the 7, 9, and 13 year olds. |
Anonymous
| 11 year old is too young. 13 is fine. Take care of your own kids or hire a babysitter. Not the oldest job to babysit and take care of your kids. |
Anonymous
I'm planning on leaving the house without children at some point before they all turn 18, and at this point our 11 and 13 yr old sons don't like having a babysitter because they're old enough to stay home alone and most babysitters are too close to them in age (or the babysitters are less comfortable "sitting for" a 13 yr old who is taller than them and has a deep voice). So, this is sort of figuring out how we get comfortable on all sides. 13yr old would happily be compensated for babysitting (as would 11 yr old). Sister listen to them well enough when they're "in charge". I'm not asking whether it's my kid's job to care for my other kids (it would in fact be his job if we paid him). I'm asking about relatively safety/comfort level/ages of responsibility. |
Anonymous
|
Sorry I have to give my opinion. Please do not do third even if you say you are paying. My parents did this and it was so unfair and stressful. If you are being honest you are looking to pay less than an actual sitter and the ease of not finding a sitter. This was my parents. I was a good kid so I didn’t push back but it creates resentment. So unfair to
My little brother because it wasn’t his fault I was made to watch him. This seems to happen a lot with big families sort of the parents decide to have a lot of kids but then find away to make the younger kids take the work off their shoulder. |
Anonymous
| Starting when they were 11 and 8, I’d leave my kids for 45 minutes in the morning to finish breakfast, brush teeth and walk to school, or for a similar amount of time after school. They are now 12 and 9, and I think I could leave them for longer but I haven’t tried. |
Anonymous
Whereas I was asked to babysit my younger brother and it never bothered me, and made me happy that I could call the shots and not have to deal with anyone telling ME what to do! How old were you and how old was your brother? Did it interfere with your social life? |
Anonymous
| Babysitting on weekends interferes with social life. 13 year olds start to want to have weekend plans. It is a slippery slope and parents who use older kids are in fact using them. I do not buy anyone being happy to put this on kids. |
Anonymous
I have to give my opinion. It's unreasonable for you to think children have no family responsibilities. |
Anonymous
My kids “use” me all the time. I am happy to turn the tables. |
Anonymous
| You are a sad person -your choice to have kids |
Anonymous
Not forced weekend labor. It is wrong. |
Anonymous
| You can try now for errands and build up to an evening out. Only the 13 year old can legally babysit other kids in Maryland, BTW (even though the 11 year old is more responsible!). |
Anonymous
| My 14 year old daughter baby sits a lot, for other families and for us (we have a 14yo, a 10yo, and an 8yo). She prefers to sit for us - we pay the same as her clients, and she's making the money at home. If she weren't sitting for me she'd be sitting for someone else - she usually works one weekend night and socializes the other, so I don't think I'm doing any great harm to her social life. If her siblings were prone to rivalry or didn't get along I wouldn't do this, in our case I think it helps that there's a decent gab between her and her next youngest sibling, and she's a girl and they're boys. |
Anonymous
|
OP - I would be comfortable starting now and slowly working up to it. You'll know after short and close times whether it works for you or not and the comfort level of everyone as time goes on. Of course its reasonable for your 13 year old to be in charge.
Regarding compensation, we did pay my kid when he was 13 and my younger was 10 (and they didn't want babysitters just like yours don't). We paid at half the rate of regular babysitting gigs - that way he gets something but he also knows the other half is part of being a family. We did this because the 13 year old started to babysit for other families too. But when the younger became 13, we stopped paying since both were old enough to stay home alone. But if they are home together, we pay for them to go out to dinner or get ice cream or whatever. |