Music--How do you monitor?

[Anonymous]

We do censor and strongly discourage. We are a strongly church going family so after some discussion on why it’s inappropriate, he gradually tuned off to the latest tunes. He listens on the radio stations that don’t play explicit tunes and his Spotify list has better selections these days. MUsic videos are worse too and is harder as well initially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just realized my 12 year old has been listening to explicit music on his phone. We're not okay with this. How do you monitor this? I know we can get Spotify and do a family plan with parental controls. I'm inclined to do this so he has options for good music that isn't explicit. Anyone else run into this? Thanks.

I don't monitor music, LOL! Nor books.

[Anonymous]

My son is 13 and I know he listens to explicit music. You won't be able to stop it. I don't really care if he listens to music with some F words or whatever depending on how it's being used. If it's like..."F that" or something in a song, I don't care too much, but he was listen to a song that talked about bangin' the babysitter and we needed to talk about what's appropriate but you can't stop it.

[Anonymous]

The only music I’d be concerned about is white supremacist music. Otherwise, have at it.

[Anonymous]

OP here. The music is racist and misogynist. He’s also started using this language quite freely. Normally I would not censor music, nor would I ever censor books. Think very hard core rap.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I should add he is not using racist language. I would lose my mind, lol. But, he’s freely using the curse words he’s hearing frequently with very little filter.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue would be punishing him for using the language, which I support. I know others won’t agree with me but it sounds so trashy and you never know when teachers/other parents or authority figures/potential employers are listening. I think it’s too hard nowadays to try to shield him from hearing the language altogether—there are so many ways to hear it, even inadvertently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should add he is not using racist language. I would lose my mind, lol. But, he’s freely using the curse words he’s hearing frequently with very little filter.

Like most of the PPs, we don't monitor our kids' music either.

Using curse words is another matter, and your DS may be hearing those words somewhere other than the music he's listening to. My kid goes to a Catholic HS for and he hears plenty of cursing there. But he knows it's not acceptable to use it. If he's using it with friends, not much I can do, but at home or where we can hear it, nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just realized my 12 year old has been listening to explicit music on his phone. We're not okay with this. How do you monitor this? I know we can get Spotify and do a family plan with parental controls. I'm inclined to do this so he has options for good music that isn't explicit. Anyone else run into this? Thanks.

Get over it. He's 12, not 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do censor and strongly discourage. We are a strongly church going family so after some discussion on why it’s inappropriate, he gradually tuned off to the latest tunes. He listens on the radio stations that don’t play explicit tunes and his Spotify list has better selections these days. MUsic videos are worse too and is harder as well initially.

This is the right way to handle it though. You discussed and talked and HE made the choice. Regardless of your position on lyrics, this is what you want - for the kid to decide on their own what to listen to or how to behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The music is racist and misogynist. He’s also started using this language quite freely. Normally I would not censor music, nor would I ever censor books. Think very hard core rap.

I'm with you OP. I don't "censor" but there is a lot of really scary music out there that is laced with violence, misogyny and really anti social messaging. I think it's ok to step in and have serious discussions about what these artists are saying and SELLING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The music is racist and misogynist. He’s also started using this language quite freely. Normally I would not censor music, nor would I ever censor books. Think very hard core rap.

I'm one of the people who doesn't censor books or music. But when DD started acting like a brat after reading Junie B Jones, I told her "You keep getting in trouble after doing things you read about in Junie books. Maybe reading them isn't good for you. Do you want to keep reading those books, being naughty and getting punished, or do you want to keep reading but STOP being naughty so you don't HAVE to get punished, or do you want to find books that inspire you to have good behavior?" That's how I got her to stop reading the books. If she'd chosen 2, that would have been fine too.

[Anonymous]

Definitely speak to him about why you don’t like the lyrics, but choose your battles wisely. You have bigger issues coming up, and you want to keep the communication lines open. If you censor his music choices, he will learn to hide other things from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The music is racist and misogynist. He’s also started using this language quite freely. Normally I would not censor music, nor would I ever censor books. Think very hard core rap.

Why would you censor books and not music? Books are much much more dangerous than music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The music is racist and misogynist. He’s also started using this language quite freely. Normally I would not censor music, nor would I ever censor books. Think very hard core rap.

I'm with you OP. I don't "censor" but there is a lot of really scary music out there that is laced with violence, misogyny and really anti social messaging. I think it's ok to step in and have serious discussions about what these artists are saying and SELLING.

OP here. This. Exactly. He’s listening to the worst kind of music, hours a day...and that’s the only kind of music. It’s affecting his behavior and outlook. We’ve had lots of conversations about this.