529 donations in lieu of wedding registry. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

You don’t need gifts for a second wedding! Include a note on the invitation that says “your presence is the gift” or something. Don’t be greedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha, I knew DCUM would have strong opinions on this one. Yeah, I'm split....I agree that it seems tacky but I'm not sure why. Re: a big wedding, what's with the vitriol there? Because he's been married before? And?

I don’t have a problem with a 529 registry but if you’re struggling to save for college a big wedding seems like a stupid idea

[Anonymous]

The 529 contribution seems like a maximum utility gift to me - and who cares about the size of the wedding? Kids in blended families might appreciate and value a big ‘do (which doesn’t necessarily equate to an expensive ‘do)

[Anonymous]

No, no request for gifts at second wedding, it is extremely tacky.

Baby Daddy(ies) of two daughters and their Mom should
be funding their college funds.

Mom and Dad of 3rd girl should be funding her college
fund.

A wedding is not a college fund fundraiser.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I don’t get the responses here. It’s a wedding regardless of whether they have established households or not. They’re spending money hosting this party. What does it matter if you spend $200 on material things or towards their kids’ education? Would you ever show up to a party empty handed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And if you’re at a point in your life where you have two kids, a big wedding with a registry is tacky AF.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind it. In fact, I'm inclined to give more to a 529 than to a honeymoon fund.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't mind giving a check. I don't mind donating to a 529 for kids. I am lukewarm to a request for contribution to a downpayment to a house. I don't like giving to a honeymoon fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get it, but think it’s tacky.

So so soooo tacky.

[Anonymous]

OP, they sound like they are a nice couple. I think most
guests would write a check without any thought.
I guess the tackiness comes from dictating the gift.
It sounds like the invitations are already out.

A friend was just talking about receiving a wedding
invite in which gift was specifying money for very,
very, expensive, exotic honeymoon. Friend asked
me what I would do. I said you are under no obligation
to fund an exotic honeymoon. In this case most
of the guests are in a middle America town who
maybe vacation a 3 hour drive from their home and
the request just came across as tacky.

[Anonymous]

Historically wedding gifts are for a couple to help set
up housekeeping in their new home and to celebrate
the marriage.

Most folks don't have a problem writing an unsolicited
check as a gift or picking something from a wedding
registry for a first time couple.

I think that dictating what the gifts should be crosses
the line to tackiness.

[Anonymous]

If a couple who each bring prior kids to a marriage is spending money on a wedding big enough to have a registry and asking for college donations, then their priorities are upside down.

Second wedding in this situation should be a county courthouse, small sit down meal, backyard, close family and friends only. If more than 3-5K is spent total, there’s something wrong.

I say this as a person who didn’t spend money on a wedding because it seemed an extravagance when I was in grad school with little kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a couple who each bring prior kids to a marriage is spending money on a wedding big enough to have a registry and asking for college donations, then their priorities are upside down.

Second wedding in this situation should be a county courthouse, small sit down meal, backyard, close family and friends only. If more than 3-5K is spent total, there’s something wrong.

I say this as a person who didn’t spend money on a wedding because it seemed an extravagance when I was in grad school with little kids.

Lol...the only acceptable wedding is at the courthouse because one of they has been previously married?? I love the specifics with which people will judge others (complete with dictating this couple's wedding budget, good Lord).

Also to everyone crowing about this "big wedding"...I didn't read anything about the size of the wedding; OP's question was about the registry (to which I say meh, no different than cash and this older couple is probably loathe to acquire more "stuff").

Sounds like a family event, not a giant wedding; these can be lovely and touching. No one needs to slink around shamefully in their backyard, FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. And if you’re at a point in your life where you have two kids, a big wedding with a registry is tacky AF.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I don’t get the responses here. It’s a wedding regardless of whether they have established households or not. They’re spending money hosting this party. What does it matter if you spend $200 on material things or towards their kids’ education? Would you ever show up to a party empty handed?

What relevance does this have?

A wedding invitation is not an invoice.