Why does it matter if your kid swears?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess my question is why is it that we give the "f" word or sh$% or whatever such power that using them becomes "not elegant" or that there's a "time and place." Yea, its what we've all grown up with, but why? Why does it matter?

Do you know what they mean, OP?
They refer to intimate bodily acts, anatomical regions, or a deity that you would not otherwise describe in public.
Do you throw around sexual or defecation-related terms casually to anyone? I hope not. Calling the Lord in vain may mean nothing to you, but it was especially shocking in past centuries, when most people in Europe and the colonies were expected to be devout Christian.
If you believe that we can talk about anything in public, even sex or poo, then it logically follows that you would be unfazed by swear words.
Please understand that most of us hold different views.

This. I can’t believe people say things “suck.” Vulgar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess my question is why is it that we give the "f" word or sh$% or whatever such power that using them becomes "not elegant" or that there's a "time and place." Yea, its what we've all grown up with, but why? Why does it matter?

Do you know what they mean, OP?
They refer to intimate bodily acts, anatomical regions, or a deity that you would not otherwise describe in public.
Do you throw around sexual or defecation-related terms casually to anyone? I hope not. Calling the Lord in vain may mean nothing to you, but it was especially shocking in past centuries, when most people in Europe and the colonies were expected to be devout Christian.
If you believe that we can talk about anything in public, even sex or poo, then it logically follows that you would be unfazed by swear words.
Please understand that most of us hold different views.

This. I can’t believe people say things “suck.” Vulgar.

Eyeroll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess my question is why is it that we give the "f" word or sh$% or whatever such power that using them becomes "not elegant" or that there's a "time and place." Yea, its what we've all grown up with, but why? Why does it matter?

There's always been swear words and always will be swear words. The actual terms change but the overall social rules around them stay the same.

[Anonymous]

We have taught our five year old that certain words are only allowed at home with family. We think that removes some of the allure of the words and feels more honest to us. But be prepared for uncomfortable situations. So far really for us just that she says “oh my god” and my parents clearly don’t like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. My four year old used the “f” word today (in a way where she used it as an adjective) and I just wanted to laugh and then say oh crap, she’s going to get in trouble and so am I. But why? Why does it matter if a kid swears? Why are we giving those words in particular such power? Now mind you I am not talking about swearing at someone or using derogatory terms to describe someone. That is never okay whether the name is a “swear” or not. But saying something “effing” sucked or saying “$&@-“ when something happens, why is that so bad?

Perhaps it’s because Im, gasp, a “xennial” (old millennial) or that I’m an atheist, or that I’m really progressive but I just do t see why we make such a big deal about this especially since nearly every adult I know swears from time to time, or more than time to time, so why do we care so much about a kid using a “bad word”?

Are you me? Can we be friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess my question is why is it that we give the "f" word or sh$% or whatever such power that using them becomes "not elegant" or that there's a "time and place." Yea, its what we've all grown up with, but why? Why does it matter?

Do you know what they mean, OP?
They refer to intimate bodily acts, anatomical regions, or a deity that you would not otherwise describe in public.
Do you throw around sexual or defecation-related terms casually to anyone? I hope not. Calling the Lord in vain may mean nothing to you, but it was especially shocking in past centuries, when most people in Europe and the colonies were expected to be devout Christian.
If you believe that we can talk about anything in public, even sex or poo, then it logically follows that you would be unfazed by swear words.
Please understand that most of us hold different views.

This. I can’t believe people say things “suck.” Vulgar.

How else am I supposed to describe how the vacuum works?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a matter of decorum and civility. It’s like picking your nose. Best not to do in public.

[Anonymous]

Societies need to have swear words so we can communicate when we are really upset. If no words had power, that would be more difficult.

As for kids, do what you want at home but make sure they understand how to code switch. Usually a 4 year old cannot. I personally don’t care to hear that language from my kids, but if they curse around their friends and I happened to hear it, I wouldn’t be appalled. Ive told them that friends’ parents likely wouldn’t appreciate overhearing it and they might not get invited back. I’ve told them to follow all school rules or accept consequences. I’ve told them I don’t want to hear it. Otherwise, I don’t care.

[Anonymous]

Lack of respect for others. Lack of self-control.

When a kid does it, it shows that you are a bad parent incapable of teaching respect for others and self-control.

You can whine about "why?" all you want, it's still true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I guess my question is why is it that we give the "f" word or sh$% or whatever such power that using them becomes "not elegant" or that there's a "time and place." Yea, its what we've all grown up with, but why? Why does it matter?

Do you know what they mean, OP?
They refer to intimate bodily acts, anatomical regions, or a deity that you would not otherwise describe in public.
Do you throw around sexual or defecation-related terms casually to anyone? I hope not. Calling the Lord in vain may mean nothing to you, but it was especially shocking in past centuries, when most people in Europe and the colonies were expected to be devout Christian.
If you believe that we can talk about anything in public, even sex or poo, then it logically follows that you would be unfazed by swear words.
Please understand that most of us hold different views.

I want to buy you the "everybody poops" book.

Uptight people give these words more power than they deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not true, but when people swear all the time, I think they are of low intelligence.

I keep seeing headlines about studies that say the exact opposite.

My guess is it is unrelated to intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Coming from a small child, these words are vulgar, tacky and low class. Sure, adults do a lot of things but that doesn’t mean that kids get to do those things as well. There’s an appropriate age for everything.

[Anonymous]

My main reason for frowning on this is not that I think it's inherently bad. It's that I think kids have less control that adults over their ability to turn it off in inappropriate situations.

As an adult, there are situations in which I swear freely (having a drink with friends) and situations in which it would be detrimental to my relationships with other people (in a job interview). And, as an adult, I'm pretty clued into the social differences.

Kids aren't, yet. And the consequences of swearing in inappropriate situations much outweigh any consequences of NOT swearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids 10 and 12 use swear words when appropriate, for emphasis. They use the typical F bombs and sh-t. It’s fine with me. Mostly they do it in the home only.

Smarter people swear more. I certainly don’t edit.

Lol. I don't mind if kids swear but it does not mean they're smarter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope nope nope. I don’t care if they do it in a locker room but hell no not in the house or around me (their mother) or other adults. It’s low class.

It’s actually not low class. But it is middle class to NOT swear, I’ll agree with you. But smart and accomplished people and many of high class swear often.