Should mothers inform older teen sons if they’re “friend zoned”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wording ("inform" him he's "friend-zoned'') makes you sound like you're too involved in his social life, OP. I'd butt out unless he specifically asks for your opinion, and even then I'd offer it only tentatively. He's got to learn to sort this stuff out on his own.

Not to mention who knows if OP is even correct???

PP, exactly! Which is why I mentioned offering her opinion tentatively if asked, not as if it is fact.

[Anonymous]

The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

[Anonymous]

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

Except I know plenty of cases where a teenage girl said no to dating a boy, they stayed friends (s, "friend zoned" instead of "rejection", "final", etc) and ended up married. Why can't they just be friends?

[Anonymous]

Does he know what the "friend zone" is? If not then he would benefit from that explanation.

"Son, women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not banging her, you're her girlfriend. Got it?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I wish boy parents would tell their sons is that when a girl has said No to dating, she means No, and to let it be. I wouldn’t call it friend zoning, I’d call it rejection and acknowledge that it hurts and is hard but that it’s final.

Friend zone is when a girl says yes to going out but just as friends.

So there is no real rejection and it is not final.

Sometime they just want to be friend but sadly often girls use guys to get invited places and to have somebody to take them out but “as friends”.

[Anonymous]

He should understand the phenomenon, but might be better coming from his dad or some man in his life.

[Anonymous]

OP prefers that her teenage son have sex to having a friend who is a girl? Seriously? Why do you care, Mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he know what the "friend zone" is? If not then he would benefit from that explanation.

"Son, women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not banging her, you're her girlfriend. Got it?"

Maybe girls have changed since I was in high school. Back then, there were guys they had sex with & guys they hung out with when they were complaining about the guys they had sex with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t they just be friends.

Does he only friend girls that will screw him?

Wow you have issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t they just be friends.

Does he only friend girls that will screw him?

Wow you have issues

I have issues because I think boys and girls should be friends without having sex?

[Anonymous]

I had to give my son a talk about the way girls communicate.

Boy: want to go out with me?
Girl: um, maybe I don't know.

Boy: didn't get told no, so thinks he should keep asking.

Boy: So, want to go out Friday night?
Girl: Welllll ... I think I'm busy Friday
Boy: Oh. So want to go out Saturday?
Girl: I'm babysitting.

Boy: didn't get told she doesn't WANT to go on a date, so thinks it's just a scheduling conflict.

I had to explain to him that girls are taught not to say no, and if he doesn't get a firm yes after two asks, he needs to mentally hear a "no" and move on. If the girl wanted to date him, she would say "I'm babysitting, but I could do something Saturday afternoon/next Friday night."

*Yes, I know they don't really date anymore. It's an old-fashioned example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to give my son a talk about the way girls communicate.

Boy: want to go out with me?
Girl: um, maybe I don't know.

Boy: didn't get told no, so thinks he should keep asking.

Boy: So, want to go out Friday night?
Girl: Welllll ... I think I'm busy Friday
Boy: Oh. So want to go out Saturday?
Girl: I'm babysitting.

Boy: didn't get told she doesn't WANT to go on a date, so thinks it's just a scheduling conflict.

I had to explain to him that girls are taught not to say no, and if he doesn't get a firm yes after two asks, he needs to mentally hear a "no" and move on. If the girl wanted to date him, she would say "I'm babysitting, but I could do something Saturday afternoon/next Friday night."

*Yes, I know they don't really date anymore. It's an old-fashioned example.

This is not friends zone.

Friend zone is she says yes to all those things... they go and have fun... as friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe it won’t make a difference. But I really think my son needs to move on.

You absolutely should. Whether he moves on or not is your choice, but young people can't really read social signals as clearly as more experienced people can.

[Anonymous]

No. You can point out she wants to be a friend now and not anything else and encourage him to find other girlfriends, but I would not use the term "friend zoned."