if your child's friend was looking at porn on your iPad, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

I would say you’re an idiot if you think your daughter was not involved.

[Anonymous]

i would be worried if my daughter was so dumb that she didn't delete the browser history after giggling over disney porn with her friends.

[Anonymous]

How do you know it was the girls from last night and not some other time?
How do you know it wasn’t stumbled upon accidentally?
Don’t these kids have phones with the internet in it - why do they even need your iPad?
Did you ever have a rule against this?
Disney characters? Seems more like a joke/something funny?
What, exactly, is the problem with girls looking at porn?

I would not punish. I would discuss with my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with this? Do you have an explicit rule against looking at porn at your house? It’s not like it’s illegal.

It sure is for kids under 18. Also, if you don't think porn is a problem, you need to wake up and realize the major internet porn problem that's going on. This isn't 1986 and a copy of playboy.

It is not illegal for a minor to view porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it was the girls from last night and not some other time?
How do you know it wasn’t stumbled upon accidentally?
Don’t these kids have phones with the internet in it - why do they even need your iPad?
Did you ever have a rule against this?
Disney characters? Seems more like a joke/something funny?
What, exactly, is the problem with girls looking at porn?

I would not punish. I would discuss with my daughter.

Discuss what exactly? What would you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter had a few of her soccer teammates over for a sleepover last night. The girls are 13 and 14- incoming 8th graders. This morning, I opened up our family iPad, which was downstairs with the girls last night, and saw several porn sites in the browsing history. A lot of cartoon porn of Disney characters I asked my daughter what was up, and she was like "I don't know what that is mom, Lucy (teammate) was on it last night but I don't know what she was doing"...

Would you say something to her mother? Let it go?

You have bigger problems. DD is a liar. Most kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would be worried if my daughter was so dumb that she didn't delete the browser history after giggling over disney porn with her friends.

Actually laughed at this

[Anonymous]

Sleepovers are a recipe for trouble. Most of what usually happens is gossip about the girls who aren’t there. Why allow it?

[Anonymous]

Why the hell on God’s green Earth would you give a bunch of 13-14 year olds unfettered internet access on your iPad while you went to bed?! You are a complete moron. Also, there is no way in hell that Your duaghter didn’t know what the other girl was doing on the iPad.

[Anonymous]

13/14? Super normal normal curiosity and nbd. Most of them Ahave probably already looked at porn. Just tell the parents what happened.

When I was 11 I was at a sleepover party at a hotel - parent in adjoining room - and someone presumably left some playboys behind in one of the drawers and we found them. Now that I think about it, i’m sure one or more of the girls ended up telling her parents and all the adults talked about it afterwards. I wonder if the host parent felt bad/embarrassed. It also wasn’t a huge deal and we just giggled over it. The only thing I remember seeing - and it’s seared into my brain - was a political cartoon where a donkey with his pmts around his ankles was having sex with an elephant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the hell on God’s green Earth would you give a bunch of 13-14 year olds unfettered internet access on your iPad while you went to bed?! You are a complete moron. Also, there is no way in hell that Your duaghter didn’t know what the other girl was doing on the iPad.

Yeah, daughter is a nasty liar. Let’s face the truth here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13/14? Super normal normal curiosity and nbd. Most of them Ahave probably already looked at porn. Just tell the parents what happened.

When I was 11 I was at a sleepover party at a hotel - parent in adjoining room - and someone presumably left some playboys behind in one of the drawers and we found them. Now that I think about it, i’m sure one or more of the girls ended up telling her parents and all the adults talked about it afterwards. I wonder if the host parent felt bad/embarrassed. It also wasn’t a huge deal and we just giggled over it. The only thing I remember seeing - and it’s seared into my brain - was a political cartoon where a donkey with his pmts around his ankles was having sex with an elephant.

What I meant to say is that they were probably all looking together, and chances are someone will tell their parents and you want to get ahead of the grapevine of pearl clutchers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would be unhappy, and would send a factual email to all the parents (mothers and fathers) to let them know.

Also, I would not give them access to my devices again.

Furthermore, my own child would be suspect and she wouldn’t have sleepovers for some time. She is entirely old enough to monitor her guests and lay down the rules of the house.

DD should not be having or going to any sleepovers for the rest of the school year. Period.

[Anonymous]

Call moms. Don't text. It's worth the conversation. That's what we do among the moms. Creates connection and a chance to chat about these things, more of which will come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it was the girls from last night and not some other time?
How do you know it wasn’t stumbled upon accidentally?
Don’t these kids have phones with the internet in it - why do they even need your iPad?
Did you ever have a rule against this?
Disney characters? Seems more like a joke/something funny?
What, exactly, is the problem with girls looking at porn?

I would not punish. I would discuss with my daughter.

Discuss what exactly? What would you say?

DP, but if you haven’t discussed porn with your child, you must. They WILL see it, and you want them to be prepared. They need to know that porn is not a realistic depiction of sex, that porn actors are actors, and that porn usually is made from the male point of view and makes it seem like female pleasure doesn’t matter (or that things that don’t feel good to most girls give them pleasure). Porn often mixes force and degradation with sex in subtle and not so subtle ways, and that isn’t what you want in your child’s head, and they shouldn’t want it in their head either. I’ve had all these conversations with my 12 year old son, and hopefully he has never seen porn. The conversations have been interesting, not too uncomfortable.