DD wants her friend who is a guy to sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is sex between them ok with you, OP?
....in your house?

DP.

Platonic means not sexual.
The DD is also having a female friend sleep over in her room with her.

If the DD really wanted to have sex in her house, she could pick a boy she has the hits for on a night she doesn’t have a female friend over.

[Anonymous]

^Hots, not hits

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

I am a total prude and even I think this is fine. He visits, you have a separate “spare room” for him to stay, you’ve even added a third wheel to buffer things - it seems okay to me. How else would you host a guest?

[Anonymous]

Another prude here who says this is fine given the sleeping arrangements. I valued my guy friends at that age very much, and they were all platonic as well.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a nice thing for her and like you have plenty of precautions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what's a mutila friend?

mutual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My rising sophomore DD went to sleep away camp for four weeks this summer and became really close friends with this guy. They are not romantically attached at all and are just really close friends - they facetime and text almost every day. However, he is a rising senior, but young for his grade, and lives a few states away. Today, my DD asked if he could come stay at our house for labor day weekend to visit. He would sleep in the basement, and my DD would sleep in her room with a mutila friend who is a girl. What are your thoughts? I’m giving it some consideration because my DD really appreciates his friendship and because he is a senior, they may never see each other again.

dp Why do you say this? It isn't like the pilgrims or other immigrants who moved away and never saw their family. Is he dying? Moving to Mars? Why wouldn't she see him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is sex between them ok with you, OP?
....in your house?

DP.

Platonic means not sexual.
The DD is also having a female friend sleep over in her room with her.

If the DD really wanted to have sex in her house, she could pick a boy she has the hits for on a night she doesn’t have a female friend over.

This is no guarantee of no sex. How far fetched would it be if the friend and kept quiet when they went to meet to have sex in the basement? The friend could say "I didn't know she slipped out to go the basement" The only guarantee is if the dd slept in your room but, even then if you are a heavy sleeper anything can happen.

I need to know why they "won't ever see each other again" before I give advice. How did she meet him? If he lives several states away do they go to boarding school? Or was it the internet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is sex between them ok with you, OP?
....in your house?

DP.

Platonic means not sexual.
The DD is also having a female friend sleep over in her room with her.

If the DD really wanted to have sex in her house, she could pick a boy she has the hits for on a night she doesn’t have a female friend over.

This is no guarantee of no sex. How far fetched would it be if the friend and kept quiet when they went to meet to have sex in the basement? The friend could say "I didn't know she slipped out to go the basement" The only guarantee is if the dd slept in your room but, even then if you are a heavy sleeper anything can happen.

I need to know why they "won't ever see each other again" before I give advice. How did she meet him? If he lives several states away do they go to boarding school? Or was it the internet?

Sorry I just re-read it and got the answer, camp. So you have never met him? I wouldn't feel comfortable in this situation, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is sex between them ok with you, OP?
....in your house?

DP.

Platonic means not sexual.
The DD is also having a female friend sleep over in her room with her.

If the DD really wanted to have sex in her house, she could pick a boy she has the hits for on a night she doesn’t have a female friend over.

I was friends with my dh until it changed. That's how most relationships start.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s gay. My friend like this in HS came out as gay 2 years later. We all knew earlier but it was the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know this boy or his family? Are you sure he’s not grooming her? I wouldn’t allow it because he’s basically a stranger to my family except my DD.

Grooming her? You mean like brushing her hair and picking lint off her shoulder? WTF.

[Anonymous]

I actually did this. But we have alarms on our main level as part of our normal security system. If the boy left the basement or the my DD left her room, the alarm would go off.

It was totally normal since we have had this system for years before this visit.

[Anonymous]

I would allow it but my ds's best friend is a girl and we moved a few hours apart. She and her mom just spent the night here this weekend. Sometimes my ds stays there without us and sometimes his friend stays here without her family. We are close family friends now and her mom is a good friend of mine.

I want my kids to be friends with the opposite gender. I think they will be better people and have better connections as adults if they are friends with not just one gender.