our beloved 14 year old dog only has two months to live....we need advice
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Anonymous
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I’m so sorry!
When we had to put our dog down, I read my 8 yo the Rainbow Bridge poetm. You can google it if you are not familiar with it, but be forewarned that you will be bawling so do it when you are alone. Then decide if it will help your kids. Hope this helps. Wishing you much comfort and strength. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Please stay attuned to your dog's needs too. Animals don't show pain until it is quite bad, and you may need to let the dog go sooner than you think. Wishing you the best at a difficult time. |
Anonymous
Her kids are 11 and 13, not 5 and 7. |
Anonymous
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We've had to do this twice with our daughter, once when she was 10 and again when she was 12. We were honest with her as to what was going on; she could see both dogs weren't well. For the first one, we all spent time with her and then my husband took her out of the room while I stayed with my Maddie (we were at Southpaws with her) and for the 2nd, she stayed in the room as well while DH held our 2nd while she passed. It was awful, but DH and I tried to be open with our grief (to a point) with her. She also has written letters to each dog after they passed, writing down how much she loved them. We have a new pup now, but I have pics of the others around, and I just bought a dog boned shape frame with three openings so I'm going to put pics of each one in there.
((HUGS)) it's not easy. We also just lost my dad this year, so I understand where you are at. Again, open and honest was the best way to go for us. |
Anonymous
You were right. He lost function so quickly and within 24 hours was unable to walk. We had to say goodbye on Saturday. I had read this very note and thought that night we had to tell the kids. THe rapid decline began the very next day, and I was grateful that we had just looped them in. I wanted to thank you. We had only a few days to say goodbye, but the kids got through it with us. Well, we are still in it, but you know what I mean. Thanks to you all, this forum really helped me, and helped me help my family through a difficult loss. |
Anonymous
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My kids lost their elderly dog and grandfather within two weeks of each other. It was a terrible, terrible time for us and like the others, I am truly sorry for what you are experiencing.
My word of advice is to watch for catastrophic thinking especially in your kids. This may not even be something that pops up until months later, grief is funny that way, but we experienced this. It was like so much bad had happened, we expected more to come. Like bad things come in threes, that silly old superstition. If any of your kids start to talk like this, I encourage you to get them to therapy or a clergy member who can assure them that it's simply a pattern of negative thought amidst grief. |
Anonymous
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I'm so sorry. My overarching advice is, don't lie to the kids. Take some deep breaths and think about how you want to proceed in telling them, but just don't lie. Sending you some grace!
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Anonymous
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Very sorry, OP. I want to reiterate what other PPs have said, that you should tell them honestly and right away. You can help them through this by being there for them and modeling how you deal with a loss--crying, being sad, talking about your memories of the dog or person. You can't protect them by not telling them.
Here is where I'm coming from on this: A couple of times in my life my parents didn't tell me about the loss of, in one case, a dog, and in the other case a childhood friend who died while I was away at school. In both cases they wanted to protect me from the news and tell me a few days or a week later when I got him/was done with finals. But in both cases I found out from someone else first. I understood their impulse to protect me but it was NOT a good plan. In your case they probably wouldn't actually hear the news from someone else, but they will be able to tell something is wrong, and if they figure out that you didn't tell them for a few days it may hurt their trust in you. |
Anonymous
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I'd have them deal with the death of the pet first. Put the dog down. Sooner the better.
And get a gripe Mom. A little less drama will help everyone. |
Anonymous
She may be wired like her hypersensitive daughter, so the empathy might be useful. OP, tell your kids immediately if you haven't already, then ask them to think of how to give your dog a few last good days before he has to be euthanized. Favorite treats? Favorite walk? Do they want to sleep in the living room with the dog for a couple of nights? I recommend having it done at home, but finding someplace your son or daughter can go if they don't want to be there. |
Anonymous
Pretty much that. And if they aren’t aware of what it means to put an animal down, tell them that too. Explain the kindness, explain that your vet will help you figure out when. And look up quality of life scoring methods for dogs—it helps you “see” what is happening. We found it very useful with both our cats. Don’t be afraid to cry in front of your kids. You can all be sad together—and decide how to memorialize your dog too. |
Anonymous
To the new poster: I am so sorry. I cannot imagine trying to parent 3 young kids and deal with the impending loss of my husband. Every day you get out of bed you are showing incredible strength. I hope you find help for the things that can be helped. Hugs. And to OP: You are a lovely person, partly as evidenced by your response. Hugs to you, too. |
Anonymous
np, I love how this anonymous forum is sometimes a place that we can really help and support others like this. Op, I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. I'm also so thankful you told the kids in time. It's so hard to know how much time we'll have. Sending you best wishes for your dad as well as grieving this loss! |
Anonymous
Thank you, OP, and thank you for recognizing your dog's distress. I'm glad you were able to use my advice, and I'm very sorry for your loss. |