Husband hasn't worked in years. It's wrecking my health

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]07/02/2019 01:12
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Anonymous
Please see a therapist ASAP. He is manipulating you. I know you think leaving will wreck your kids but seeing an unhappy, unbalanced marriage will wreck them in other ways. Believe me, I lived that and came out with very twisted ideas of what was acceptable in romantic relationships.
[Post New]07/02/2019 02:47
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Anonymous
Leave! You are a fool and are only assuming it will wreck kids. Maybe kids deserve a relaxed, well respected, rested Mom! See a lawyer and a therapist now!
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:07
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Anonymous
The longer you stay the worse your terms will be when you leave.

[Post New]07/02/2019 06:07
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Please see a therapist ASAP. He is manipulating you. I know you think leaving will wreck your kids but seeing an unhappy, unbalanced marriage will wreck them in other ways. Believe me, I lived that and came out with very twisted ideas of what was acceptable in romantic relationships.


This. He needs to be working full-time on something: a full-time stable job, the lion’s share of the household management, OR getting serious about addressing whatever psychological condition(s) he might have. It is not fair or healthy for him to free-ride. Strongly agree that it sets a terrible example for your kids, especially any daughters.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:15
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Anonymous
What a loser. Seriously, leave . He’s dead weight. You can clearly carry the family without his help so be done with him.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:26
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Anonymous
Do neither of you work full time? Can you get a full time job?
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:42
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Anonymous
I'm sorry, OP, that sounds extraordinarily difficult.

How old is he? He must be feeling awful about this situation also. Depending on his age and skillset, he probably needs to come to terms with the fact that it is extremely unlikely he can return to where he was. Is it possible for him to get counseling? It doesn't really sound like leaving him would put you in a better place, tbh, although you don't mention your feelings about him other than the resentment.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:44
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Anonymous
First, you need to go see a therapist and a lawyer for yourself. Second your husband is mentally ill. You csnnot fix him, and it will not get better. I’m sure diagnosis, medication, and therapy are out of the question for him. You need to get out and get your kids out of the situation. It’s not going to get better. All that’s going to happen is that you and your children are going to be dragged down with this. You and your kids deserve better, and you are the one that has the ability to make this happen.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:57
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What??? Has not worked since 2016? He’s a loser. No self respect.

I’d $hitcan his a$$ faster than a New York minute.


This sounds like my brother. Dear ‘long suffering brothers wife’ - I support you in whatever you choose to do with your life.
He is, indeed, a loser.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:59
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The longer you stay the worse your terms will be when you leave.



This.

Male or female, supporting a spouse for years is laying the ground work for alimony.
[Post New]07/02/2019 06:59
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Anonymous
Is he getting the kids to and from school? Is he home with them on sick days and on school holidays? Does he cook? shop? do housework?

Is he a SAHD? Does he see himself that way vs unemployed?
[Post New]07/02/2019 07:00
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What??? Has not worked since 2016? He’s a loser. No self respect.

I’d $hitcan his a$$ faster than a New York minute.


This sounds like my brother. Dear ‘long suffering brothers wife’ - I support you in whatever you choose to do with your life.
He is, indeed, a loser.


If this is indeed my brother, he is mentally ill (the adhd meds are probably making that a lot worse!) and he’s pretty useless around the house.
He does spend some good time with the kids, however. I don’t know how you do it, but again - we support you and we’re sorry for your suffering.
[Post New]07/02/2019 07:02
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The longer you stay the worse your terms will be when you leave.



This.

Male or female, supporting a spouse for years is laying the ground work for alimony.


I don’t think that most people want their spouses and their children’s father living in the gutter.
[Post New]07/02/2019 07:06
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The longer you stay the worse your terms will be when you leave.



This.

Male or female, supporting a spouse for years is laying the ground work for alimony.


I don’t think that most people want their spouses and their children’s father living in the gutter.


He’s capable of working. If he had to. Right now he doesn’t, so he won’t. The loser M.O.
[Post New]07/02/2019 07:40
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:First, you need to go see a therapist and a lawyer for yourself. Second your husband is mentally ill. You csnnot fix him, and it will not get better. I’m sure diagnosis, medication, and therapy are out of the question for him. You need to get out and get your kids out of the situation. It’s not going to get better. All that’s going to happen is that you and your children are going to be dragged down with this. You and your kids deserve better, and you are the one that has the ability to make this happen.


You have no idea that the man is “mentally ill.” Stop throwing that line around every time you see something you don’t like
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