Why are yoga teachers so annoying???!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to watch you do all kinds of weird handstands only a gymnast can do. I don’t want to hear about chakras and why inversions are good or bad at this time of the month. I especially don’t want to be “adjusted “ ie touched and repositioned by the teacher- get your hands off me please for crying out loud! I don’t want to hear your narrative commentary about woo-woo poems or pseudo religious pondering, or anything else like that! I just want a good hard Vinyasa flow session with no chitchat. Why do all of the teachers use the spotlight to just blabber on and on?? I’m there to exercise! I love yoga because it makes me stronger, improves balance and flexibility, and nothing melts the fat like a hard yoga practice either. So why does yoga come with all of this nonsense?? And if you even so much as mention for the billionth time your next retreat in Greece, I am outta there!!

Anyone recommend a good hard athletic class with a serious instructor? Or a studio of this type?

If you are a yoga teacher please explain this silly showboating...? We lose at least 15 mins out of a one hour class with your “third eye breath in/breath out” bs.

*I realize this is not really a REAL problem but anyway... namaste.

This is patently untrue. Many forms of exercises are better for fat loss than yoga.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yoga is bizarre to me as well op. I don’t get it.

Me too. Apparently the instructor squad has a different objective than the people who show up for the classes. I went a class described as for strength and flexibility and the entire time the male (weird because so many male instructors in ALL female classes) yammered on and on and on about his recent yogic enlightenment. He also made us introduce ourselves to someone we didn’t know and have a conversation. Why? No one wants to do this. I was irritated and impatient to get on with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to watch you do all kinds of weird handstands only a gymnast can do. I don’t want to hear about chakras and why inversions are good or bad at this time of the month. I especially don’t want to be “adjusted “ ie touched and repositioned by the teacher- get your hands off me please for crying out loud! I don’t want to hear your narrative commentary about woo-woo poems or pseudo religious pondering, or anything else like that! I just want a good hard Vinyasa flow session with no chitchat. Why do all of the teachers use the spotlight to just blabber on and on?? I’m there to exercise! I love yoga because it makes me stronger, improves balance and flexibility, and nothing melts the fat like a hard yoga practice either. So why does yoga come with all of this nonsense?? And if you even so much as mention for the billionth time your next retreat in Greece, I am outta there!!

Anyone recommend a good hard athletic class with a serious instructor? Or a studio of this type?

If you are a yoga teacher please explain this silly showboating...? We lose at least 15 mins out of a one hour class with your “third eye breath in/breath out” bs.

*I realize this is not really a REAL problem but anyway... namaste.

This is patently untrue. Many forms of exercises are better for fat loss than yoga.

What do you recommend?

[Anonymous]

Go to CorePower. I do like some of the meditative stuff and I like being adjusted. I don't like it when a 25 year old tries to get preachy and tell me her personal philosophy of life.

[Anonymous]

As for the touching, every yoga instructor I've had has said something like "I will come around and use gentle adjustments. If you prefer not to be touched, just let me know."

[Anonymous]

You sound like you have some experience, so you should know this: Studios vary greatly, and instructors within each studio also vary greatly. If you dislike the vibe of your studio, find another one … they are practically on every corner right now. Also, it's becoming more common for teachers to ask at the beginning of class if you want to avoid adjustments. Some studios even have nonverbal ways of expressing your preferences, like a stone.

I think many longtime practitioners of yoga are horrified that it's been turned into "just exercise." I'm not saying you're wrong, because I prefer a class that's a good workout, too, but I'm just pointing out that there are many styles and many have moved far, far away from yoga's origins.

As for the selling of the retreats, I think that's a fair complaint for the studio owner.

[Anonymous]

I second the CorePower suggestion. It is a sanitized, exercise focused version of yoga. It is not yoga in the traditional “woo woo” sense and is much more focused on the workout and sweat factor.

[Anonymous]

"The original context of yoga was spiritual development practices to train the body and mind to self observe and become aware of their own nature. The purposes of yoga were to cultivate discernment, awareness, self-regulation and higher consciousness in the individual."

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/01/12/is-yoga-for-narcissists/the-purpose-of-yoga

[Anonymous]

Try Bikram.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I second the CorePower suggestion. It is a sanitized, exercise focused version of yoga. It is not yoga in the traditional “woo woo” sense and is much more focused on the workout and sweat factor.

Thanks this sounds good. I just read about what CorePower is and it sounds right on: more emphasis on physical and less on "spiritual". Perfect.

I do think it is strange that these mainstream run of the mill neighborhood yoga studios let their instructors freestyle preach whatever they yoga-esque material they want. It's really weird, actually. I have a few classes left on my punch card at this studio and they are so expensive so I will finish it off... At the end of the class I went to this morning the instructor said we should all chant om together because the volume of that collective sound would burn up the kernels of unhappiness in all of us" etc etc. That wasn't even nearly the looniest thing she said.

Okay... maybe I am just getting old and grumpy now. It just seems flat out ridiculous. And yes I have been doing (ok "practicing" ) yoga for many years. The commercialization of these ancient practises just makes the activity into a ridiculous caricature of itself. Like that funny guy with long reddish hair who makes silly fake yoga videos.

[Anonymous]

I hope I never find OP in any of my classes. Her negative energy would block my chakras

[Anonymous]

If it's convenient, try the "spicy" classes at East Side Yoga. It's a great studio and not at all like what you're describing.

https://www.eastsideyogadc.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's convenient, try the "spicy" classes at East Side Yoga. It's a great studio and not at all like what you're describing.

https://www.eastsideyogadc.com

Thank you these classes sound great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I never find OP in any of my classes. Her negative energy would block my chakras

you won't notice me. i don't stay to hear about your retreat and i don't hug strangers just because i exercised next to you.

[Anonymous]

As someone who did six years of a traditional, full-contact martial art to get to a brown belt (black belt would have taken another two give or take), I found it crazy when I'd visit classes at other dojos and find them being taught by a second degree black belt with 3 years of training who spent half the class lecturing about the spiritual enlightenment s/he had attained through martial arts.

Sounds like yoga has the same problem.