Talk to me about full time working mom & part time working dad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty normal when the part time worker is the mom. You just have to deal with it.

+1. That’s life OP. Sometimes one spouse takes the lead as the breadwinner while the other takes the lead on childcare. Ideally we’d have a choice, but it doesn’t always happen as you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never said I resented my husband. Just that I feel like I’m
Missing out.

Talk to your therapist....your post screams resentment

+1 agreed

Thanks for explaining my feelings.
My husband is amazing. Double the man that many affair hungry sports obsessed dudes are. He’s doing a great job & without him jumping in and taking over we’d be putting our kid in awful care that is dangerous. I respect what he is doing and miss my child. Do you all not have complicated feelings? IS it so impossible to imagine a situation where both parents want the same thing but don’t hate each other. Ffs- please go back to encouraging affairs and & talking about your dead bedrooms.

Not sure why everyone is being so mean here, I totally understand your feelings. I could see this happening in my family if someone needed to stay home more with our son because I have the more stable job and my husband like yours would love to do it if able. I would be similarly so grateful and happy for them and really feel bummed to be missing that time. It sounds really hard. I don’t have a good answer for you but just wanted to empathize.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how it could be any other way if he has more time with your son than you do. Maybe you guys can figure out some fun stuff for you to do solo with your child on the weekend. Dad gets a break from childcare (or maybe he does other work/errands around the house) and you get some quality time with your son to build some memories. Sounds like a win win to me.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's unclear how old your child is or how long this dynamic has been going on, but I'm willing to bet that these feelings will fade over time and with some perspective. You FEEL as though you are missing out on all of these amazing moments and bonding opportunities, but the reality is that those moment are likely fewer than you realize. They are interspersed with lots of other moments between your DH and child that aren't as great. So, one way to look at it is that you get to miss out on the not-so-fun moments, too.

Also, as your child gets older, you may realize that your fears of being left out are unfounded and ultimately won't impact the relationship you have with your child. My DH is the default parent and I am the breadwinner. I work long hours and travel, so there are many times when I do not see my kids for a few days. I felt similarly when our first DC was born. I felt like like DS and DH had a strong bond and that I was missing out on all of these fun and momentous things. At times I felt expendable, like they'd be totally fine without me (which they would be, but I wanted to feel needed in that way).

Fast forward 6 years and one more kid, and I don't have a shred of those feelings left. DH is close with both of our kids and I wouldn't want it any other way. I am close with both of my kids, too. My 6yo and I have a special bond that is different but just as strong as the bond he has with DH. Same for my relationship with my 4yo. I make sure to spend solo time with each kid and we have our special routines and favorite activities.