Depression/suicide thoughts. Want to handle this right

[Anonymous]

I thought this has good suggestions. You’re a great mom,

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/03/18/six-ways-parents-schools-can-tackle-spike-teen-suicide/

[Anonymous]

Yes I would share name but offline if you give me an email that isn’t one that identifies you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would share name but offline if you give me an email that isn’t one that identifies you.

[e-mail]

[Anonymous]

My God, what is happening to our children? I’m experiencing this mental illness with my daughter (12) who told a couple girls at school and now we have a huge situation going in. I have covered many basis initiatives and conversations- psychiatrist, therapist, social skills class, meds (&$# antidepressant, ADHD, and an anxiety med), appointment to get a full neuropsychological testing which I have to wait for a consultation then wait another couple weeks for the actual testing; Pulled DD out of school for a while until we decide what to do. Op, I get you, hang in there, continue to show him your love and your support. Be sure to take care of your own health and mental health.

You are good mother, this is an epidemic problem. Kids are pressured in realty and pressure is also made up in their mind. Social media, YouTube, Facebook- all this media and electronic games has perpetuated a problem that will be hard to recover from. How can one not have a phone? When they are young they don’t need to have one but as a teenager they do. This depression has been building up in their brains for a long time without us knowing. I, too, hide medicines and scissors but DD is very crafty so now I can’t leave her alone at anytime. And no it doesn’t help that there are horrible newscasts of murder and terrorism plus we a nutso, narcissistic President. But OP, I have hope because I have strong faith in God to get me through. Faith is helping our situation with our daughter too. Hopefully things will turn around for your family and mine but should this go negative, I know we have done all that we could and she will be God.

Hugs and prayers for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My God, what is happening to our children? I’m experiencing this mental illness with my daughter (12) who told a couple girls at school and now we have a huge situation going in. I have covered many basis initiatives and conversations- psychiatrist, therapist, social skills class, meds (&$# antidepressant, ADHD, and an anxiety med), appointment to get a full neuropsychological testing which I have to wait for a consultation then wait another couple weeks for the actual testing; Pulled DD out of school for a while until we decide what to do. Op, I get you, hang in there, continue to show him your love and your support. Be sure to take care of your own health and mental health.

You are good mother, this is an epidemic problem. Kids are pressured in realty and pressure is also made up in their mind. Social media, YouTube, Facebook- all this media and electronic games has perpetuated a problem that will be hard to recover from. How can one not have a phone? When they are young they don’t need to have one but as a teenager they do. This depression has been building up in their brains for a long time without us knowing. I, too, hide medicines and scissors but DD is very crafty so now I can’t leave her alone at anytime. And no it doesn’t help that there are horrible newscasts of murder and terrorism plus we a nutso, narcissistic President. But OP, I have hope because I have strong faith in God to get me through. Faith is helping our situation with our daughter too. Hopefully things will turn around for your family and mine but should this go negative, I know we have done all that we could and she will be God.

Hugs and prayers for you.

I remember your prior post about following up with neuropsych. I’m sorry things have escalated again. This can be such a roller coaster. Are you homeschooling your DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My God, what is happening to our children? I’m experiencing this mental illness with my daughter (12) who told a couple girls at school and now we have a huge situation going in. I have covered many basis initiatives and conversations- psychiatrist, therapist, social skills class, meds (&$# antidepressant, ADHD, and an anxiety med), appointment to get a full neuropsychological testing which I have to wait for a consultation then wait another couple weeks for the actual testing; Pulled DD out of school for a while until we decide what to do. Op, I get you, hang in there, continue to show him your love and your support. Be sure to take care of your own health and mental health.

You are good mother, this is an epidemic problem. Kids are pressured in realty and pressure is also made up in their mind. Social media, YouTube, Facebook- all this media and electronic games has perpetuated a problem that will be hard to recover from. How can one not have a phone? When they are young they don’t need to have one but as a teenager they do. This depression has been building up in their brains for a long time without us knowing. I, too, hide medicines and scissors but DD is very crafty so now I can’t leave her alone at anytime. And no it doesn’t help that there are horrible newscasts of murder and terrorism plus we a nutso, narcissistic President. But OP, I have hope because I have strong faith in God to get me through. Faith is helping our situation with our daughter too. Hopefully things will turn around for your family and mine but should this go negative, I know we have done all that we could and she will be God.

Hugs and prayers for you.

I remember your prior post about following up with neuropsych. I’m sorry things have escalated again. This can be such a roller coaster. Are you homeschooling your DD?

I still have DD home today ?. The principal and guidance counselor are still investigating the situation... my daughter is also contributing to the drama apparently with her insecurity for acceptance. She so wants to be popular. When she was younger and now I’ve never emphasized beauty, getting the latest gizmo or makeup, popularity, being perfect. She is loved, hugged, lives a grand life - too grand. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, don’t read fashion magazines or keep tabloids at home. DD is the opposite on all levels, a wanna be.

DD wants to go back to school, she loves the school. Still thinks one of the mean girls is really her friend?? Today, Im spending time with her and will be investigating other schools for next year and yes, I will most likely be homeschooling her the rest of the year. Thanks for asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would share name but offline if you give me an email that isn’t one that identifies you.

[e-mail]

Done.

[Anonymous]

This morning Sirius had a program on teen suicide. One of the most important things to do is to ask if they are thinking about suicide that day. At least four studies say bringing it up doesn't make it more likely to happen, it's the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Hugs. I am a mom who lost my son at 22 to suicide. What he is having is suicide ideation. It is like a dance with the devil. It gets into their head and most times that thought does not go away, sometimes even for years. We did therapy, meds, cognitive therapy, homeschooling. At 20, he seemed to come out of the clouds. He began doing so great, kind, helpful, charismatic, dating, awesome internship and then job, cool apartment, traveling. He had the world! Then, a week before his death, he came over and seemed distracted, tired, and I found out he was giving his things away. It was strange but he was doing so well. The night before he came over and we hung out by fire pit and had the best discussion. Then, the next day, the call that changed my life. On his phone and computer, we could see his pattern was disrupted, he had been up online all night and was making strange searches and his you tube videos contained suicide videos. I will never be whole again but I think the most important thing is communication and if you can go through his phone. My son was grown and did not live with me so we had no idea all that was going on. I wish you the best. I wish I did an inpatient program when he was at his worst.

[Anonymous]

PP I am so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hugs. I am a mom who lost my son at 22 to suicide. What he is having is suicide ideation. It is like a dance with the devil. It gets into their head and most times that thought does not go away, sometimes even for years. We did therapy, meds, cognitive therapy, homeschooling. At 20, he seemed to come out of the clouds. He began doing so great, kind, helpful, charismatic, dating, awesome internship and then job, cool apartment, traveling. He had the world! Then, a week before his death, he came over and seemed distracted, tired, and I found out he was giving his things away. It was strange but he was doing so well. The night before he came over and we hung out by fire pit and had the best discussion. Then, the next day, the call that changed my life. On his phone and computer, we could see his pattern was disrupted, he had been up online all night and was making strange searches and his you tube videos contained suicide videos. I will never be whole again but I think the most important thing is communication and if you can go through his phone. My son was grown and did not live with me so we had no idea all that was going on. I wish you the best. I wish I did an inpatient program when he was at his worst.

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story, you are helping people.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for posting. You are not alone.
I am sad that this is true for so many of us.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you so much for all the insight. I am so sorry for those who are struggling and my heart breaks for the poster who lost her son.

-intake appointment Wednesday with a therapist (my friend who is a family therapist recommended this practice)
-school has been great, counselor met with him every day for the rest of the week and they crafted a note to teachers talking about how he'd been having a hard time and how if he needed a break he need only ask

My challenge the last few days

-parenting him in the day to day without feeling like I have to watch every thing I say
-figuring out how to regain access to his devices or in particular the more private chats that I think are at the root of all this, or at least trying to get him to pull back from using so much

Ironically he's a great performer, super charismatic on stage, but shy in person. I was happy to hear yesterday that he had made plans with two female friends from school to go to the movies this coming weekend. Much of his social activity involves playing games online with his local friends. he had the SAT on Saturday and I was really close to not having him go, but he told me I'm not really nervous about the SAT and he came out feeling really confident. I'm hopeful that this with the help we're starting this week in math we will manage to help him get back on track. I think all of this will greatly reduce his stress. Thankfully, he will be heavily involved in a summer theater camp which will give him the opportunity to perform and be around other people.

[Anonymous]

Op again. What I meant by regaining access....

I have full ability to get on his phone, but do not have password to discord where he chats while he plays online. I'm worried about going to the extremes of locking down everything when some of his chatting might be a support. When he was younger, I could read everything. It seems texting (which I can access) is not the way they communicate. Hoping to get advice from the therapist on this.

I do shut off internet to his nook at night so he can only read, and phones charge in kitchen. No computers in the bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned online chats might beat the root of all of this — do you know what is the nature of these chats? Might he be talking to other kids who are struggling with depression or suicidal ideation?