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[quote=Anonymous]Hugs. I am a mom who lost my son at 22 to suicide. What he is having is suicide ideation. It is like a dance with the devil. It gets into their head and most times that thought does not go away, sometimes even for years. We did therapy, meds, cognitive therapy, homeschooling. At 20, he seemed to come out of the clouds. He began doing so great, kind, helpful, charismatic, dating, awesome internship and then job, cool apartment, traveling. He had the world! Then, a week before his death, he came over and seemed distracted, tired, and I found out he was giving his things away. It was strange but he was doing so well. The night before he came over and we hung out by fire pit and had the best discussion. Then, the next day, the call that changed my life. On his phone and computer, we could see his pattern was disrupted, he had been up online all night and was making strange searches and his you tube videos contained suicide videos. I will never be whole again but I think the most important thing is communication and if you can go through his phone. My son was grown and did not live with me so we had no idea all that was going on. I wish you the best. I wish I did an inpatient program when he was at his worst.[/quote]

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