Child still misses former nanny

[Anonymous]

Pretty unbelievable that someone would think a child's experience with attachment to a loving caregiver is so not important. But it is a phenomenon that truly exists. Some parents change caregivers so that their kids don't attach to them rather than the parents.

Realistically, children's bonding experiences with caregivers as infants and toddlers set the stage for all future relationships. Doesn't matter whether the setting is a million dollar mansion or an orphanage in Eastern Europe.

[Anonymous]

Op, why can’t you stand her? It sounds like she and your child had a mutual and loving bond, that is priceless.

Did the nanny actually do something bad in terms of your child’s safety, not showing up on time, etc? Or did you just not have much in common with her?

[Anonymous]

OP, that is super cruel of you and shows a total lack of understanding about child development. This is so mean and ignorant that I almost think it’s a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, that is super cruel of you and shows a total lack of understanding about child development. This is so mean and ignorant that I almost think it’s a troll.

+1 I think it's a troll too.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the only reason OP cares at all about her daughters feelings is because she’s embarrassed. It’s probably a little humiliating that her daughter tells anyone who will listen that she just wants her nanny back.

Poor kid.

Note that even at age 3, the kid is already aware that she can’t go to mom with her feelings because she knows mom DGAF. So, OP, no there’s nothing you can do to get a 3 year old to stop telling caregivers how she feels.

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if the OP hates the nanny because the kid loves the nanny so much.

[Anonymous]

You made a huge mistake, OP. But I would absolutely let your child see her old nanny! Talk to your child about her nanny and let the nanny tell and show her that her love/devotion/concern was real. What harm can possibly come? At 3, your child may never forget the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP you are cold!

[Anonymous]

This may impact her ability to form close relationships, and have a lasting impact on her relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why couldn’t you stand her?

Probably because she was jealous that her child loved and respected the nanny more than OP. So, OP. Punishes her daughter for OP's inadequacies. Such a lovely mother. NOT!

[Anonymous]

OP, the more people who love your child and the more people your child loves only enhances your daughter's life. You are a cold bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never talk about the nanny! DD brings her up to other people. And yes, the former nanny has asked to visit DD many times.

I didn’t like the nanny but DD loved her.

Do I keep going with no-visit-policy or allow visits?

As a parent you have to put your own needs aside for what is best for your children. By firing a nanny your child loved and bonded with, and not having a transition is pretty much a parenting fail.

[Anonymous]

You are very selfish and self-centered, OP. You should have encouraged your poor little girl to see her nanny! What is wrong with you?!

Yes, encourage the nanny to visit (what your child wishes for) and explain to your child how wrong you were.

[Anonymous]

Call the nanny! Damn, OP, what the hell is wrong with you?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I never talk about the nanny! DD brings her up to other people. And yes, the former nanny has asked to visit DD many times.

I didn’t like the nanny but DD loved her.

Do I keep going with no-visit-policy or allow visits?

As a parent you have to put your own needs aside for what is best for your children. By firing a nanny your child loved and bonded with, and not having a transition is pretty much a parenting fail.

Agreed. The consequences can be permanent and devastating. You're a complete fool, OP. You screwed up big time. I feel sorry for your poor child.