Girlfriend Moving Too Fast..
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Anonymous
| Did she say she wants to get married right now or she can envision being married to you? I knew at 6 months that my DH was the one and we talked about things we would do as a married couple, but honestly I needed more time. We ended up getting engaged after 2 years of dating. |
Anonymous
| So tell her that. Neither of you are wrong, but you need to be honest. Do op do you see yourself as getting married at all? Do you see yourself marrying her? Why or why not? Time to start having serious talks and seriously observing behavior so you both don't waste your time. |
Anonymous
| You may not be marriage material...think about it. |
Anonymous
| You people are nuts. I would never get engaged by 6 months. Completely reasonable to need more time. Op, give it a year but don’t drag on for years beyond that. |
Anonymous
| I was engaged after one year dating at 25...my boyfriend (31 at the time). We married and had DCs...after 30 years DH days he felt pressure to marry (from his family) and did what was expected. He filed for divorce to be free of the schedule/obligations of marriage/kids. Don’t go into marriage for any reason other than you want to be with this person 100% |
Anonymous
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I would be open + honest w/her & tell her what you just told us.
Sure, you may lose her but that is the inherent risk involved w/being completely honest w/someone. If she truly loves you too, then she can be patient while you move at your own, comfortable pace. Good luck to you both. |
Anonymous
| Every couple i know that got engaged after 6 months of dating are now divorced. Dont rush it. |
Anonymous
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Marry in haste repent at leisure.
It’s reasonable at the one year mark to know whether you want to marry this woman or not. Six months is too soon to get engaged, but now that you know she’s thinking about marriage with you... you need to seriously consider if you see a long term future or not. If not, don’t waste her time |
Anonymous
Yep: the same advice we'd give him if she won't sex him up after 2nd date. |
Anonymous
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if she's perfect and you love her what are you waiting for? Someone better? Or may you never get married?
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Anonymous
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Tell her your timeline. See if they are similar or can be negotiated to work. If not, break up.
Her: engaged at 6m, married by 1y Him:engaged at 2y, married by 3y Can you compromise (and both be happy about it?) Maybe engaged at 1y and married at 2.5y. With the promise to her that if you still aren’t sure by 1y that you will break up so you don’t waste her time. |
Anonymous
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Guy here:
I was like you in my early 30s. Didn't want to commit, was having fun being single, dating younger women in their mid 20s who had zero desire to get serious, etc. I then met my current wife. She was a year older than me. Personally, a question that really does it for me when figuring out marriage is: "Would I want to be retired and grow old with this person?" Forget the questions about kids, family, etc. That will all come along in good time. But once everyone has left the house, can you envision the two of you enjoying your time alone at the age of 70? Do you see them keeping you interested, engaged, and stimulated in the long run? For me, that was a revelation. If you can envision getting old with someone, everything else - like marriage and kids - sort of falls into place and just feels right. So: can you envision yourself being an elderly and happy couple? If so, you should pop the question around the 1 year mark. Don't get engaged after only 6 months. Don't go outside your comfort zone. Frankly, I'd suggest that you move into together now. If all goes well, then get engaged around your 1 year anniversary (or soon thereafter). |
Anonymous
Meh. Dating is about finding out if you’re compatible. Marriage is much harder. If you’re having a hard time at week 2 or month 6 - it’s best to call it quits. This is supposed to be the easy fun part. Break up if it’s not. |
Anonymous
| 6 months is pretty fast. I think it's reasonable to date for at least a year before making a big commitment like that. She has time. She's 30, not 40. |
Anonymous
| If she loves you, she will wait (within reason-- don't be the loser her strings her along for five years). We wait for the right one. |